Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 113 (The Masterpiece Society)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

Every so often, I see a Star Trek episode that leaves me wondering. Sometimes, this is a good thing. Other times, it is not a good thing. With “The Masterpiece Society”, it’s not a good thing.

The Enterprise is studying a stellar core fragment when they find a planet that has life on it. Apparently, a group of humans has settled there. They’re the descendants of humans that left earth 200 years ago. Through selective breeding, they’ve created a perfectly balanced society where everyone knows what they’re meant to do. Unfortunately, the stellar core fragment poses a threat to the colony. If it passes by unaffected, it will kill all of the colonists. The Enterprise must work to change the course of the fragment.

It would be possible to evacuate everyone, but the colonists don’t want to leave their perfect society. It would be nearly impossible to recreate it somewhere else, since all of the people live in harmony with their environment. Change one element or remove one person and everything collapses.

Hannah Bates is one of the leading scientists on the planet. She and Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge work together to modify the tractor beam so that it will have enough of an effect on the fragment. In working together, they discuss La Forge’s blindness. Had he been conceived on her planet, he would have been aborted since La Forge was born with his blindness. Ironically, it’s the visual prosthesis that he uses that gives him the idea that saves the day.

The real trouble begins when Bates and a few others from the colony want to leave. To have even one person leave would cause supposedly catastrophic results. To have over twenty people leave would be unthinkable. After much debate, it’s decided that Picard would grant a request to leave, but those that leave are welcome back to the colony at any time.

I have to wonder why a society would be built so delicately. You’d think that the loss of a few people wouldn’t be that bad unless there was a really small gene pool. To have a better society, why not have two or three people that perform certain key functions?

The story seems too contrived. It’s like the writers are trying to make it obvious that even a ‘perfect’ society has imperfections. The kind of perfection that the colonists had came with a very delicate equilibrium. Many colonists feared that the slightest little thing would throw it off.

The acting was very good. The only character I took exception with was the leader of the colony, but it wasn’t because of the acting. He seemed just a little too slick, like a caricature of one of those infomercial salesmen. I know that he’s supposed to be the perfect leader, but it seemed unnatural.

I suppose that all things considered, it would have been difficult to come up with a better story. Perhaps if those leaving weren’t seen as vital, it wouldn’t have been so bad. Then again, that’s where the problem was. Taking those colonists was just as destructive as a natural disaster. How do you weigh the needs of a few people against the needs of a society? Picard couldn’t have simply ignored the fragment. Once introduced to the colony, it was inevitable that a few would want to take the opportunity to leave. Once the request to leave was made, Picard couldn’t just walk away from it.

It was a good episode, but not a great one. You could very easily skip this episode without missing anything. I can’t see giving it more than three stars. 

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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 112 (Violations)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

You wouldn't think of an empath as necessarily being a historian, but the Ullian have such people. Not every Ullian is capable of retrieving memories, but some are. The Enterprise is transporting three Ullians to their a planet, where they will record the memories of as many people as they can. The episode opens with one of the Ullians trying to help Keiko O'Brien elaborate on a memory of a chipped cup. She starts out with just the image of the cup and ends up remembering where it was from.

Trouble begins shortly after the opening scene when Counselor Troi, an empath herself, starts reliving an old memory that turns violent. She then falls into a coma. The thing is that we know who did it. In the relived memory, we can see a Ulian called Jev. However, since Troi falls into a coma, she can't exactly pick Jev out of a lineup. The next to fall into a coma is Commander Riker. Both show similar signs, and those signs would point to a particular illness, but some of the other signs of that illness are lacking.

This is one of those times where the writers didn't dumb down the main characters. The bridge crew realizes that the comas occurred during the stay of the Ulians and go through every other possible cause of the comas before saying to the Ulians that it can't be a coincidence. However, before Dr. Crusher can perform appropriate tests on the Ulians, she also falls into a coma.

Troi is the first to wake up, having been in a coma for three days. She can't remember what happened, but allows Jev to help her. Captain Picard and others voice concerns, but figures that Jev has the right to defend himself. He helps Troi recall the events leading up to her coma, but inserts the face of his father over his own face. Thus, Troi points the finger at Jev's father. Meanwhile, Data and La Forge are going over records of the Ulians' travels and find that there are several similar comas and a few unexplained ones during the Ulians' stay on several planets and that Jev is the only one at all of the locations. Worf leads a security team to Troi's quarters before Jef can attack her again.

It's difficult to press charges against Jev since the Federation has never had to deal with anything of this nature. Fortunately, the Ulians have had to deal with this. The problem is that they haven't had to deal with it in 300 years. They have medical records that far back and offer to do what they can for the three victims on the Enterprise.

Of the three victims, Troi was the best acted. She seemed to show the most resistance to what was going on. Maybe she had the best resistance since she was an empath; I don't know. There's also not much suspense. From the first attack, we know that it's Jev. Granted, just as Jev inserted his father's image, one of the other two Ulians could have used Jev's image. However, you have to figure that it was one of the three Ulians on the ship; it was just too easy.

Overall, it was a good episode. There are no plot holes or obvious mistakes. I'd say that it's a four-star episode. The use of this sort of invasion is used as a metaphor for rape, and is even called as much by Jev's father. (After all, the name of the episode is "Violations".) Those that watch Star Trek regularly will still be able to enjoy the episode. Those that don't might be a little lost and will probably miss a few references. If you're going to watch this episode, you'll probably want to start watching episodes prior to this one.


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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 111 (Hero Worship)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.


I don't think it would be easy being the only survivor on a wrecked ship. The Enterprise encounters such a ship and doesn't even find any life signs when they first scan the ship. However, an away team finds a boy named Timothy in the wreckage. It takes Data's immense strength to get Timothy out from under a pile of metal. Both of Timothy's parents were onboard and killed. (His mother's body was found. His father was presumed to have been on the bridge when it was destroyed.)

Timothy ends up forming an attachment to Data and even starts mimicking him. Troi feels that it will pass in time, which it does. Data simply has to play along and occasionally guide Timothy's behavior. Eventually, Timothy adapts to the loss of his parents and is able to move on.

This particular episode doesn't seem to have a lot of fans and with good reason. The Enterprise is in an area of space that is very dangerous. They think that another ship destroyed Timothy's ship, but it turns out that it was simply a victim of its own shields and that the Enterprise is about suffer the same fate. I think that this could have been dropped entirely so that the episode could have focused more on Timothy and Data.

Throughout the series, Data, who's an android without emotion, has been trying to better understand humans. This could have been an excellent opportunity for Data to study and understand what it means to lose someone. In the previous season, Data lost his own 'father' and could have used this to relate to Timothy.

Timothy suffered a great loss and he seemed to get over it pretty quickly, especially considering that there didn't seem to be any attempt to see if he had other relatives. Maybe it was done and simply not mentioned, but I don't recall any talk about what was to happen to Timothy.

In terms of goofs, there was only one thing that I could find. When cutting Timothy's hair, Data looks in the mirror to check his own hair. Maybe this was one way that Data 'imitated' humans, but I would think that he would have a very accurate self-image that would include what his hair looks like.

The episode is worth two stars. The acting is good, but the story tries to cover too much ground and ends up missing out on some potentially interesting character development.


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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 110 (New Ground)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

They say that breaking up is hard to do. Apparently, getting back together isn’t any easier. Way back in the early seasons of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Worf had a child, Alexander. Worf is Klingon and the mother was half-Klingon half-human. Shortly after Worf was told that he had a child, the mother died, leaving Worf with Alexander to worry about. Feeling that it would be difficult to raise a child and be chief of security, Worf sent Alexander to live with his own adoptive parents. In “New Ground”, Worf’s adoptive mother brings Alexander to Worf, telling him that she and her husband are too old to be taking care of a Klingon child. (Worf doesn’t know that she has Alexander until both are aboard the Enterprise.) As if it was hard enough the first time, they now have to deal with being several decades older. They simply can’t take care of Alexander.

As it happens, the Enterprise is getting ready for an experiment. Someone has developed a technology that, if successful, would replace warp drive, the current faster-than-light engines used in the Star Trek universe. A station on a planet will generate a wave that will carry a ship to another station, which will nullify the wave. Granted, this doesn’t add a lot of stress for Worf in particular, but he has missed the first few years of Alexander’s life. He has his normal duties plus the responsibilities involved in taking care of a child, such as enrolling him in school.

Things are difficult for Worf. Alexander is understandably resentful towards Worf. Alexander lies. He steals. He shows hostility towards Worf. Worf doesn’t have the aid of Alexander’s mother, but his crewmates are patient. When both Dr. Crusher and Alexander’s teacher contact Worf within minutes of each other, Captain Picard tells Worf that what they are doing can wait.

Worf is considering sending Alexander away to a Klingon school, mostly because Alexander has no knowledge of what it means to be Klingon. (His mother rejected Klingon culture and passed this on to her son.) Worf is proud of his Klingon heritage, which allows for a great deal of tension with Alexander. The biggest problem for Worf is admitting that he has a lot to learn about parenting. When dealing with Alexander, Worf oversimplifies a lot of problems.

The moment of truth comes when an experiment with the new form of propulsion fails, leaving the Enterprise to solve the problem. The wave expands to such massive proportions that the receiving station won’t be able to stop it. In fact, if no one stops it, the planet that it’s on will be destroyed. In stopping the wave, lethal amounts of radiation will be released and that radiation will flood certain parts of the Enterprise. Worf has to get his son out of a burning room before the room is flooded with the radiation. Worf succeeds with the help of Commander Riker. Worf and Alexander come to an understanding that it will be more of a challenge for Alexander to stay, but Worf will have him if Alexander feels that he’s up to it.

The story involving the new form of propulsion wasn’t written very well. It looks like it was just a way to set up a dangerous situation where Worf would have to rescue Alexander. It was never seen or heard of again. (Fans of the Star Trek series are very familiar with promising technology that makes one appearance in the series, but is never explored again.)

Because of the way Alexander was raised, there is going to be tension between Alexander and Worf, and this is dealt with several times throughout the rest of the series, although not to this extent. This episode was simply to put Alexander back in to Worf’s life. It also sets up Counselor Troi as someone that Worf trusts and can depend on. It also is meant to have Alexander see that Worf is someone that’s looking out for him rather than some overbearing father who just wants to lay down a bunch of tough rules.

There are only about two or three episodes that you’d have to have seen to fully understand this one. If this was the first episode of the series that you watched, I don’t think that you’d be missing out on too much, though. However, it’s so late in the series that if you’re watching reruns on Spike TV, you might just want to wait until it starts at the beginning again.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 109 (A Matter of Time)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

During the seven-year run of Star Trek: The Next Generation, it seemed like The Enterprise was always rushing somewhere. In “A Matter of Time”, the Enterprise is on its way to a planet that’s been hit by an asteroid. The planet is experiencing a nuclear-winter type scenario and millions are at risk. On the way, the Enterprise detects a temporal anomaly. A small ship suddenly appears and the ship gets a strange message asking Captain Picard to move over.

Once Picard moves over, a man beams in. He calls himself Rasmussen and claims to be from the late 26th century. (He says that he’s from 300 years in the future, but if you do the math, it should be somewhere between 200 and 250.) Rasmussen claims that he’s an historian doing research on the Enterprise. Everyone is to carry out his or her business and simply allow Rasmussen to conduct his research. Picard orders Rasmussen’s ship taken aboard so that the Enterprise can continue with its mission.

When they arrive at the planet, tropical rivers are freezing over. Things look grim. The ship tries to create a greenhouse effect by releasing carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, but that ultimately makes matters worse. There is a plan B, but it’s very risky. Rasmussen’s presence presents Picard with an interesting avenue. He pleads with Rasmussen for some bit of information to help him, but Rasmussen refuses, claiming that he’s not allowed to interfere with what he considers history. At the very least, it’s not obvious why Rasmussen picked this mission.

Picard ultimately makes the correct decision. However, Rasmussen is discovered for what he really is. It turns out that he’s actually from the New Jersey of the 22nd century. Someone from the 26th century visited his area and was discovered by Rasmussen, who stole the ship and took it to the 24th century. He was planning on stealing things so that he could return to the 22nd century and ‘invent’ them. Unfortunately for Rasmussen, he had set his ship for autopilot and it disappears back into the 22nd century without him.

There are a few flaws with the episode. First off, Rasmussen claims that most time-traveling historians are careful about detection, which is true. (It’s been established in the other series.) Why is Rasmussen so obvious about it? Ok. He was obvious because he was a thief, but shouldn’t that have been a red flag for the crew? It’s hard for me to believe that the entire bridge crew could have been taken in so easily.

Actually, why would Rasmussen be so obvious about it? Shouldn’t a thief be more careful about making himself known? The Enterprise is a pretty high-profile target. If I were Rasmussen, I’d probably sneak in to some minor ship while the ship was in spacedock undergoing repairs and had a minimum crew. That way, I could just take stuff and bring it back for further study. If Rasmussen knew enough to find the Enterprise’s location right before a critical mission, he certainly could have identified some of the more significant things like phasers. At the very least, if he knew everyone’s names, then he had to know that there was an empath aboard. If I was going to pick a date, I would have picked one where she was on vacation.

Also, the Enterprise is in a rush to get to the planet, but they wait so that they can sit around and talk to Rasmussen before bringing the ship in. I’ll grant you that it’s a minor point, but I think it would bother me if I was awaiting aid from a starship and the captain was sitting around talking to someone.

The major problem that I had was Rasmussen. The acting was good, but the character was annoying. Think of that kid in middle school that constantly pestered you about petty stuff. We’re talking about the kid that was almost annoying to actually slap. Ever wonder what happened to him? Rasmussen is your answer. He keeps prodding the crew for details. He hits on Dr. Crusher. He even has to beam in right where the captain of the ship is standing. (I’m figuring that he had to do that to make himself feel important or something.)

There was also no follow up to the episode. It would have been interesting to see what happened to Rasmussen. It also would be interesting to see what happened to the time machine. There was an episode similar to this one in Star Trek: Voyager where a man from our time actually does get his hands on technology well past the 24th century. It might have made an interesting tie-in with this episode.

It’s an interesting episode and could be watched by a non-Trek fan without much confusion. For someone watching the series, it could easily be skipped. I wouldn’t recommend skipping it, though. Despite the flaws, it was an entertaining episode. I just think it could have been written a little better. 

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Star Trek The Next Generation - Episode 108 (Unification I)

Note:  I’m following production order with the reviews of individual episodes.  Since Part II started production before Part I, it has a lower episode number.


In the third season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, one episode featured an aging Ambassador Sarek.  Here was the father of Spock, going on one last diplomat mission for The Federation.  He was suffering a degenerative disease known as Bendii Syndrome.  Fast forward a few years and now he’s all but lost control of his mind.  Bendii Syndrome seems to present much like Alzheimer’s in humans, which can be humiliating for a logical Vulcan.  It’s with bad news that Captain Picard has to visit him; his son, Spock, has seemingly defected to Romulus.

For what reason, no one knows, but it’s Picard’s hope that Sarek might have some answers.  Alas, Sarek is too far gone to be of much help other than giving one name:  Pardek, a Romulan senator.  Picard will have to make do with what little information he has.  First, he has to get a cloaked (Klingon) ship to go into Romulan space.  It takes a little diplomacy and a not-so-subtle hit, but Picard gets his cloaked ship, taking Data with him to Romulas and leaving Commander Riker to deal with the mysterious wreckage of a Ferengi ship.

The episode does moderately well for setup.  We go through a brief bit of family issues with Spock and Sarek.  They didn’t seem to get along well in the original series and The Next Generation continues that with Spock leaving Vulcan without saying goodbye to Sarek.  We get the impression that Spock and Sarek still didn’t see eye to eye.  Before Picard and Data reach Vulcan, Sarek dies, ending any chance Spock to reconcile.

As you might expect, Spock doesn’t show up until the end of the episode.  A lot of time is spent getting to Romulus and looking around.  The name of the episode comes from the fact that Spock is looking to reunify Romulus and Vulcan; Romulans and Vulcans share a common ancestry.  When Vulcans became the logical lot that they are, Romulans left the planet and settles on Romulus to continue their warlike ways.

You will have to know a bit about the history of Star Trek to watch this episode.  Certain things will go over your head if you’re not familiar with the Trek universe. Also, the big draw here is going to be Spock and Sarek.  It’s also worth noting that these two episodes aired shortly before Star Trek VI was released.  There was the aspect of a small amount of promotion.

I did learn something from this episode.  Picard and Data had to wait for Pardek outside an intercessor’s office.  I’ve never seen the term used outside of this episode.  It refers to someone who intervenes on behalf of another.  From what I can tell, it has a religious connotation.  It’s usually meant to refer to someone who prays on behalf of another.  I’m not sure if it’s meant to have a nonreligious connotation here or if it’s meant to imply that Romulans are religious.  (I’ve always wondered what an intercessor was.  It wasn’t until a week or two ago that I looked it up.)

Many questions are answered in Part II.  What’s the deal with the wreckage?  What is Spock really up to?  A few more will be raised.  (Many along the lines of what were the writers thinking?)  I remember enjoying the episodes when they first aired, although there were certain things I missed.  I’ll save those for the next episode.

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Star Trek The Next Generation - Episode 107 (Unification II)

Note:  I’m following production order with the reviews of individual episodes.  Since Part II started production before Part I, it has a lower episode number.


Star Trek:  The Next Generation had a few cliffhangers.  Most of the seasons ended with some major plot twist, leaving the viewers to wait three months to see what happened.  Here, we only had to wait a week.  Captain Picard and Lieutenant Commander Data travel to Romulus to find out what happened to Ambassador Spock.  You see, Spock mysteriously left Vulcan and showed up on Romulus.  This has everyone worried because Spock was a Starfleet officer and Vulcan Ambassador, meaning he had his share of secrets.

At the end of Part I, Picard and Data find Spock.  Picard and Spock speak privately, where Picard tells Spock of the death of Sarek.  Spock claims to be on a mission of peace, which doesn’t really satisfy Picard.  There are more official ways of doing that.  Spock references the events of Star Trek VI, which would be released the following month.  (It comes across more as a name drop than anything else.)

The reason Spock did it his way was that he was afraid of a repeat of the events of Star Trek VI, in which Spock helped tear down the barrier between the Federation and the Klingon Empire.  Because of a new proconsul, Spock feels that he can get Romulus to reunify with Vulcan.  While Romulans are still emotional and warlike, there is an element within the population that would like to know more.  There are elements within the senate, ostensibly like Pardek, that could work in Spock’s favor.  Yes, it’s possible that Spock is being played, but it’s worth the risk.  The payoff is too great.

Meanwhile, Riker, in charge of the Enterprise, discovers that an entire Vulcan ship has gone missing from a junkyard that doesn’t lose stuff.  What anyone would need with a Vulcan ship is anyone’s guess.  Riker is able to follow the trail, but it doesn’t turn up anything useful.  Things start to make sense when it’s revealed that Pardek is spying on Spock and the resistance.

It turns out that the Romulan government is sending not one but three Vulcan ships into Federation space, claiming to be a peace envoy from Romulus, compliments of Spock.  Things start to make sense.  Riker intercepts the Vulcan ships only to have a Romulan ship decloak and destroy all three ships.  The ships were actually an invasion force.   With the ruse busted, the Romulans cut their losses and go home.  Picard leaves Romulus with Spock staying behind, hoping to continue his work.  Yes, it’s idealistic, but it’s a worthwhile goal.

I remember wondering things when I first watched the episode.  I’ve seen it again recently and I have a few more.  First, how was Spock able to walk around Romulus?  Granted, he was being used for an invasion, but Vulcans and Romulans look dissimilar enough that someone would know that Spock isn’t a local.  Even if the government was telling security forces not to stop Spock, what would happen if someone didn’t get the memo?

The second issue is how the Romulans got three Vulcan ships into their space.  They were using intermediaries, but there’s a neutral zone between Federation and Romulan space.  No military vessel is supposed to enter the Neutral Zone.  I don’t know if this applies to civilian ships, but it seems odd that the Romulans wouldn’t complain about three ships entering there space.

For that matter, there’s no mention of Spock going to Romulas with anyone else.  No one thought to ask how Spock piloted three ships by himself?  Into enemy territory, no less.  All this to carry what was supposed to be a peace force back to Vulcan.  I would also think that one ship would have been enough to carry a small delegation of diplomats.  Why not keep the troops on the cloaked ship that the Romulans sent with the Vulcan ships?

I was wondering why the Romulans wanted to invade just Vulcan, but I guess it was an opportunity they couldn’t pass up.  I don’t know how they planned to hold the planet, as I’m not sure how deep Vulcan is in Federation space.  The entire thing seemed very flimsy to me.

Unification is a somewhat continuity-dependant story.  Those that haven’t seen the previous two seasons will probably be lost.  Those that haven’t seen the original series will probably know some of the major details, but will still be missing out on stuff.

This wasn’t one of my favorite episodes.  It was entertaining, but it raised too many questions for me.  Some episodes became less confusing with subsequent viewings.  These became more confusing.  If you’re watching on Netlflix, you might as well watch these episodes.  If your DVR misses them, it’s won’t really make subsequent episodes harder to watch.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 106 (The Game)

Drugs, like many things, occupy a spectrum.  You have hard stuff, like opiates.  Then, you have softer stuff like caffeine.  We’ve all been lectured on it by parents, teachers or some other role model.  I remember in 7th grade, my homeroom teacher once telling us how some drugs were so addictive, users would kill someone without hesitating for their next fix.  There are some drugs you definitely want to stay away from.  You might wonder if they even have drugs in the 24th century.  They have the medicinal stuff, I’m sure.  But how do you get the entire crew of a starship addicted so that they’ll do your bidding?

Commander Riker, ever the playboy, is on Risa at the start of this episode.  He’s with the beautiful and playful Etana Jol.  She even throws Riker’s combadge out of a window.  That’s ok.  She has this game that he’ll just love.  You have to get a little disc into a moving cone.  You just relax, let it happen and get rewarded with a jolt of energy.  Meanwhile, Wesley Crusher has come back from Starfleet.  He even hits it off with a member of the Engineering team, Ensign Robin Lefler.

When Riker gets back to the ship, Riker shares it with a few of the other bridge officers.  Soon, nearly the entire adult population of the Enterprise is having little orgasms after beating each level.  It seems that only Robin and Welsey have yet to try it.  Oh, and Lieutenant Commander Data.   Being an android, he’d be the only one immune to the psychotropic effects of the game.  Thus, Dr. Crusher lures him to sickbay to deactivate him.  She then lies about what happened and has Chief Engineer La Forge look at Date, even though La Forge hasn’t been given a game to try yet.

It doesn’t take long for Wesley to figure out what’s going on and what really happened to Data.  He fixes Data so that he can quickly find a cure for the addiction and save the crew just before Etana Jol jas the crew spread the game to the rest of Starfleet.

Ok.  The most obvious thing about the episode is the anti-drug message.  The episode focuses entirely on the addiction and how quickly everyone became to Etana.  It was never really explained in detail specifically what made everyone fall in line so quickly.  I’m assuming that she indoctrinated Riker, who then told everyone else to follow their new leader.  Still, the message I got from this is that that if you try drugs, you’ll be at the mercy of your dealer.  So, just say no kids, because peer pressure is bad.

It’s also odd that it was so versatile in the number of people it affected.  Most of the crew are human.  Even Counselor Troi is half human.  Why would it work the same way on Worf?  This is to say nothing of any Vulcan officers, who would probably be more resistant to trying the game.  I have to wonder how it was adapted to work with La Forge, who is blind.  I’m assuming that they found some way around that, since they didn’t lure him to sickbay and hit him over the head.

For that matter, since they were able to get Geordi hooked on the thing, why not wait a little while before turning Data off?  The crew seemed to be able to carry out normal duty functions while not playing.  In fact, the only clue that the crew was addicted was the near-constant use of the game.  It would have made sense to turn Data off and just leave him once they knew no one would turn him back on.  The only reason to damage his neural net is to make Wesley have to buy Data time.

I didn’t really pick up on the sexual nature of the game at first.  I did find it odd that Dr. Crusher was so eager to get her son addicted to the game.  She seemed very pushy about it.  That alone, even not considering the orgasmic aspect of the game, seemed a bit much.

The one big question I have is why Etana would start with the Enterprise.  Wouldn’t it make more sense to do a test run with a smaller ship and work up to a starbase or something?  I could totally see the ship being docked at a starbase to pick Wesley up.  The ship is picking up several scientific teams as it is, so why not have one of them introduce the game?  I guess in this regard, the game could be seen as an STD.  (Riker finally picked something up and passed it on to the crew.)

This was definitely one of the stranger episodes of The Next Generation.  It comes across as one of those awkward talks your parents might have with you about not doing drugs or not having sex.  All of the horrible things that might happen to you are just too horrible, so be careful.  In that regard, I would have liked to have seen a one-off character that had been used and left to rot in a similar scheme.  There were so many other angles that were left off of this.

I have to say that it was a pretty bold plan.  Had it worked, Etana would have had all of Starfleet at her beck and call.  Had she pulled it off, it would have been pretty impressive.


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Star Trek The Next Generation - Episode 105 (Disaster)

One of the complaints with Star Trek: The Next Generation was how often technology failed.  It was bad enough to have the captain trapped in a holodeck, but it would also happen right when he was needed for a key moment in a mission.  Here, the Enterprise is hit by something that causes the systems to go off line and the ship to compartmentalize.  Counselor Troi is trapped on the bridge with Ensign Ro and Chief O’Brien.  The bridge officer in command is dead, leaving Troi in charge.

Meanwhile, Chief O’Brien’s wife, Keiko is stuck in Ten-Forward with Worf, Riker and Data.  They can’t make it to the bridge, but they could make it to Engineering to regain control of the ship.  They leave Worf with Keiko to tend to the injured, as they’re also cut off from sickbay.

Captain Picard is stuck in a turbo lift with three young children, all of whom had won a science fair.  He was giving them a tour of the ship when the disaster hit.  His ankle is broken, making an escape difficult.  Add to this that Picard doesn’t deal well with children, especially when they’re all assuming the worst.

This leaves Dr. Crusher and Chief Engineer La Forge stuck in a cargo bay.  That doesn’t sound so bad except for the fact that a plasma fire starts, which is emitting enough radiation that it will become a problem if they don’t get out soon.  Add to that the fact that there’s some material in the bay that’s normally stable, but explodes when exposed to enough radiation.

Like most disaster movies/episodes, you have to assume that most, if not all, of the main characters will make it through.  There are several guest characters, but Keiko is the only one in any immediate medical danger, as she goes into early labor.  (She wasn’t due for a few more weeks, if I recall.)  As there’s no enemy for anyone to seek vengeance against later on, we can assume that everyone lives.

Mostly, it’s a matter of growth for several characters.  Picard has to get over dealing with children, which he does.  He even manages to earn their respect.  Similarly, Troi has never been in command before.  It’s revealed that she holds the rank of Lieutenant Commander, but she’s a counselor.  I’ve always gotten the impression that there aren’t even other counselors on board for her to manage.  You‘re maybe wondering where the suspense comes from.  Containment on the antimatter is falling. If it goes below 15%, the ship goes boom.  They have no way of knowing if anyone is in engineering to fix it.

The delivery of Molly O’Brien is played more for comedic effect.  It’s basically all of the jokes of an inexperienced male put on the spot because of an emergency.  Keiko is emotional and yelling at Worf, who has only a holographic simulation to go by.  (You’d think that they would have gone over a few common problems.  Worf has only a minimal idea of what he’s doing.)  When the baby is delivered safely, both are able to laugh about it.

The other two stories seem more like filler.  Data has to risk his life to get Riker past an electrical surge.  They make it to find engineering empty, which is strange.  They don’t even comment on finding dead people.  There should be at least one person there.  Even if there wasn’t, how is it that no one else was able to get there?  I get that the crawlways were blocked off, but you’d think someone else could have made it.  Oh, and remember how the containment on the antimatter couldn‘t go below 15%?  Guess when Riker and Data notice the containment failure.

As for the cargo bay, it’s like the writers needed one more story to round things out. You can’t have La Forge and Crusher just sitting there talking, now.  Can you?  Then again, why do they need two lethal problems to deal with in a way that doesn’t really make any sense?  Other people have pointed out that one panel is used to open the cargo bay door and another is used to shut the door.  For that matter, why not have it set up on a timer or something?  Set it for the longest that Crusher feels they can go without oxygen?

So far as I know, the only thing to come out of this is Troi eventually wanting to take the test to become a commander.  Worf delivering the baby is mentioned a few times.  Other than that, this is basically a throwaway episode.  I think the only thing that the episode was missing was an exclamation point at the end of the title.  (“Disaster!”)  If you’re watching it streaming on Netflix or get the season set, go for it.  If you’re paying by the episode, don’t worry about it.


IMDb page

Star Trek The Next Generation - Episode 104 (Silicon Avatar)

WARNING:  I’m going to give away major details, including the ending.


There were some episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation that made you wonder.  The story itself may have made sense, but may have been short on details.  Take Silicon Avatar.  It’s never explicitly stated where the title comes from.  I’ve always assumed it referred to the main antagonist which, in the episode, is always referred to as The Crystalline Entity.

For those that have been watching Star Trek: The Next Generation, this is the same Crystalline Entity seen in Datalore.  After being chased away by the Enterprise, it apparently wandered the galaxy and happed to wind up near a colony that the Enterprise was helping setting up.  It just so happens that the Enterprise isn’t arround when the Entity starts its attack.  We get the sense of urgency when the Entity’s energy beam turns grass and trees into dirt.  You see, it feeds on biological energy.

The few bridge officers on the planet are able to get most of the colonists to the safety of a cave.  (Only two die in the attack, including the love interest for Commander Riker.)  When the survivors emerge from the cave, they find that what was once a lovely planet is now a barren wasteland.  Every form of life has been sucked up, and I mean everything.

Enter Dr. Kila Marr.  She’s become the Federation’s expert on the Crystalline Entity.   She’s going to help The Enterprise find and, if necessary, destroy the creature before it can do more harm.  Oh, I should probably also mention that the Entity killed her son when it destroyed all life on Omicron Theta, Data’s home planet.  Minor detail.  Right?

The bridge crew is split on the issue of whether or not to destroy the Entity.  Commander Riker lost the woman he was flirting with, which makes him just a little bit vengeful.  Captain Picard, on the other hand, would like to communicate with the creature if possible.  Picard points out that whales often feed on large quantities of animals.   We can’t be mad at a creature, especially when we don’t know if it realizes what it’s doing.

When they do finally catch up with it, Dr. Marr is able to destroy the Crystalline Entity without much thought.  She’s certain that it’s the right thing to do.  It will never kill again.  She’s confined to quarters and we’re left to assume that some sort of action will be taken against her at a later date.

Upon rewatching the episode, I was left with a few questions.  First, why was it necessary to kill two of the colonists?  The only reason I can think of is to give Picard an opposing voice among his bridge officers.  We already know that the Crystalline Entity is capable of destroying whole worlds.  Either way, we do have the mother of someone killed by the Entity, so Riker’s objections are somewhat redundant.

Speaking of which, why would they give Dr. Marr access to weapons, knowing her connection to the Crystalline Entity?  It seemed odd that no one made much of an effort to restrain her or power down the graviton beam.  IT would have been so easy to prevent the death.

I would have like to learn more about it, even if it was a destroyer of worlds.  How does a being like that come in to existence?  Are there more of them?  Is this an experiment gone wrong?  How is it that it’s capable of warp speed on its own?  The episode is focused more on the vengeance angle.  The Entity is just a way to focus one woman’s obsession.

This is one of those episodes I’d consider skipable unless you’re dead set on watching all of the episodes.  It does rely on a first-season episode.  The writing assumes that you’ve seen it, but I don’t recall any future episodes relying on you having seen this one.  It’s not on my list of top episodes.


IMDb page

Star Trek The Next Generation - Episode 103 (Ensign Ro)

There are some problems that no one wants to really acknowledge, even in the Star Trek universe.  The Bajorans, for instance, were displaced when the Cardassians annexed Bajor.  When a Federation colony is attacked and the attackers claim to be Bajoran, the U.S.S. Enterprise is sent in to Get Orta, who seems to be the guy responsible.

Normally, this wouldn’t be a big deal.  You go in, this Orta guy and hope he agrees to go back to a settlement camp.  Picard is authorized to use any diplomatic tool at his disposal.  The bridge crew takes exception to the fact that an Ensign Ro is being transferred to the Enterprise, as per Admiral Kennelly’s orders. 

What’s the big deal, you might ask?  It turns out that Ensign Ro was ostensibly responsible for an incident on the U.S.S. Wellington.  Eight people died and she didn’t contest responsibility at her court martial.  Thus, she was sent to prison; Kennelly got her out and reinstated her for this mission, as having a Bajoran along would seem like a good idea.  Ro isn’t that keen on being there, herself, but her alternative was staying in prison.

Ro butts heads with the rest of the crew.  The good news is that she befriends the ship’s bartender, Guinan.  The bad news is that she beams down to a planet without running it through the ship’s chain of command first.  This gets her confined to quarters, at least until Guinan comes to her aid.

Guinan is very good when it comes to judging people.  She can tell that Ro is in the middle of a personal crisis.  You see,  Ro did have authorization to go down…from Admiral Kennelly.  She wasn’t circumventing chain of command at all.  What she was doing was offering to supply Orta.  At least, that’s what her mission was.  She never made the offer as Orta looks suspiciously innocent in all of this.  There’s no way any of his ships could have reached the Federation colony.  So, what’s really going on here and who can Ro trust?

Some episodes of Star Trek were subtle.  You had to work out the meaning, but it was there.  Some were more obvious.  Here, we have the Bajorans representing displaced cultures.  There seem to be two main theories on how to deal with the issue.  The United Federation of Planets officially keeps the Bajorans at arms length.  Some have been admitted to Starfleet, but it’s not really any of their business.  Whatever happens is between the Cardassians and the Bajorans.

Unofficially, there are those in Starfleet that would have no problem arming one side under the table.  This is part of what conflicts Ro.  She had to watch her people suffer at the hands of the Cardassians.  Who wouldn’t want to help get weapons into their hands?  Then again, she knows that what she’s doing is less than morally or legally right if she has to go sneaking around to do it.

On the other hand, if Ro is the unwilling puppet of Kennelly, then Kennelly is the unwitting puppet of the Cardassians.  They staged the whole thing to get the Federation involved and he fell for it.  He knew it was wrong.  He even pulled someone out of prison who had the right history rather than go with another Bajoran who hadn’t been court-martialed.  Both Kennelly and Ro were the perfect people to have their strings pulled.

This episode would go on to serve as the basis for Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.  Some of the facts would change, but Michelle Forbes was approached to reprise her role and become the stations executive officer.  She turned the role down, claiming she didn’t want to commit to a television role at the time.  A few years later, she joined the cast of Homicide: Life on the Street.  I found it odd at the time, but it’s possible that the timing wasn’t right.

One thing I noticed in this episode is that all of the men in this episode seem to be against Ro.  Only Dr. Crusher, Troi and Guinan, all women, seem to be willing to approach her.  All of the male officers go on about how she has no right to wear the uniform. Coincidence?  Maybe.  It was just something that I noticed.



IMDb page

Star Trek The Next Generation - Episode 102 (Darmok)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

One of the big problems with interstellar travel, at least in fiction, is the issue of language.  If you’re going out into the universe, it would be nice to be able to talk to the people you meet.  Star Trek has a universal translator for just this reason.  I’ve never fully understood how it’s able to derive an entire language based on a few words.  You’d think that once in a while, there would be issues.  The translator never gets a language backwards or screws anything up that badly.  That’s not to say it’s without limitations.

The United Federation of Planets (or, rather, Starfleet) has had limited contact with the Children of Tama.  Any ship that has had contact with them has found their language unintelligible.  Distinct words can be made out, but it’s impossible to make any sense of what they’re saying.  Captain Picard and the crew of the Enterprise get a taste of this when they respond to a mathematical progression being sent to Earth.

The Tamarian captain tries to speak with Picard, but is just talking nonsense.  He keeps saying things like “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.”  It makes no sense.  Eventually, after a conversation with the first officer, the Tamarian Captain has himself and Picard beamed down to the planet.  The Tamarian ship puts up some sort of scattering field that makes communication with or transport of the two captains impossible.  At least they can monitor the situation, even if they can’t do anything about it.

On the surface, it’s not much easier on Picard.  The Tamarian captain, who’s later revealed to be named Dathon, is still talking in riddles.  He’s trying to offer Picard a dagger, which Picard interprets at a challenge.  That night, Picard is unable to get his fire going.  Dathon helps him.  Picard starts to figure out that Tamarians talk in metaphor.  “Temba, his arms wide” may mean to either give something or to receive a gift.  “"Sokath - his eyes uncovered" is said when someone finally understands something.

Data and Troi come to the same conclusion on the Enterprise.  They find out that Darmak and Tanagra are both part of the same planet’s mythology.  Regrettably, they don’t go much further than those two terms.  With a little effort, they could have decoded the whole conversation.  (For that matter, don’t they have someone that specializes in this?  You’d think that if they’re going to meet an unintelligible race, they’d bring along someone who could help.)

Eventually, the Enterprise is able to disable the scattering field and beam Picard up.  The Tamarian ship starts attacking, but Picard is able to get to the bridge in time to stop an all-out war.  He understands enough of the Tamarian language to explain to the first officer what happened.  He gives back what appears to be the Captain’s log book and offers a dagger, but the first officer lets Picard keep the dagger.  The two races go home with a better understanding of each other.

When I first saw the episode, I remember thinking how odd it was that the Tamarians spoke in metaphor.  How would this evolve?  Everyone would have to know enough of their culture to understand everyone.  It would be as if we used television to explain things.  (“It was like that episode of Law & Order…”)  The thing is, how do you explain the reference without having specific dialogue?  How would someone learn who Darmok and Jalad are if you couldn’t tell the story in the first place?  For that matter, how do you build a ship?  How would you order a specific number of things?

Another thing that got me was that the ship’s computer had references to the culture to be able to tell who Darmok was and where Tanagra was.  How do they know enough about the culture to have this information?  Either someone was able to tell them the story or someone else had to figure it out to explain to whoever programmed the computer.  Either way, couldn’t they just have fed the conversation into the computer and had it spit out footnotes or something?

Ultimately, the episode is about bonding.  It’s about finding a way to come together when words won’t cut it.  It seems to work, even if there are some questions.  I’m not sure the episode could have happened any other way. 

IMDb page

 

Star Trek The Next Generation - Episode 101 (Redemption: Part 2)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

WARNING:  I’m going to give away major details about this episode, up to and including the ending.  I will also be discussing the previous episode.  If you have a problem with this, now’s the time to stop reading.



One of the disadvantages of a cliffhanger episode is that you have to wait several months to see how it concludes.  With the advent of VHS, DVD and now streaming, it’s possible to wait and simply see everything at once.  With a series like Star Trek: The Next Generation, you could conceivably watch the entire series over a few weeks.

In the last episode, Redemption, some major events unfolded.  Gowron was made Chancellor of the Klingon High Council, which led to a civil war.  Worf resigned his commission in Starfleet to support Gowron.  The opposition?  Toral, a puppet being used by the Romulans, including one that looks a lot like a former Enterprise crewmember.

In Redemption, Part II, some time has passed.  Captain Picard is trying to get the Federation involved, despite it being a Klingon civil war.  This would appear to be a Klingon matter, but the Romulans are involved.  Rather than get involved directly, Chief Engineer La Forge has a plan:  He can use a fleet of ships to create a tachyon net that will expose a cloaked Romulan ship.  The problem is that there aren’t that many ships available.

The shadowy Romulan woman, Commander Sela, takes notice of the plan.  Rather than try to go around the blockade, she uncloaks and reveals herself to a stunned Captain Picard, who realizes that she looks a lot like his former Chief of Security, Lt. Tasha Yar.  She beams over and tells how she’s the daughter of Tasha Yar.  This is difficult to believe, as Yar would have been a young girl when Sela was born.  (She’s the result of an alternate timeline’s Tasha Yar.)

Things aren’t going well for Gowron and his forces.  The Romulan influence is really tipping the scales against him.  Also, Worf is realizing that he’s not fitting in well with other Klingons.  Normally, a Klingon wouldn’t drink with his enemy.  However, his brother, Kurn, has no problem drinking with opposition forces.  Toral’s aunts, Lursa and B’Etor take notice and kidnap him, hoping to turn him.

It doesn’t really matter.  The blockade doesn‘t initially work.  Data, while in command of the Sutherland, is able to devise a plan to expose the ships.  It works and the Romulan fleet turns around, leaving Lursa and B’Etor on their own.  They manage to beam out, leaving Worf to take out the Romulan guards and take Toral to face charges of treason.  Realizing that he may not be cut out to live in the Empire, he returns to the Enterprise to resume his duties.

This is one of those follow-up episodes that didn’t really hold up that well.  We had this nice setup in Part I.  A civil war is starting.  We have this woman that looks a lot like a former Enterprise crewmember.  Worf is on a Klingon ship.  What we get is a kind of wimpy follow up.

First, there’s the issue of Sela.  She’s the daughter of Tasha Yar, a blond, and a Romulan.  Every Romulan I’ve seen has dark hair.  I doubt very much that Sela would be a blonde.  (Genetically, darker hair tends to be dominant.)  Yes, it’s possible that Sela bleached her hair in deference to her mother, but she states that everything human in her died after her mother made a failed escape attempt.  If anything, I think she’d dye her hair to look more Romulan.  Why stand out if you hate what makes you stand out?  Also, I’ve found the convention of using the same actor to play parent and child overused.  I know we’re supposed to recognize her as the daughter of Yar, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Speaking of Sela, how is it that the blockade works?  I’m not sure how big the blockade is that Sela can’t just go around it.  I’m not sure because it’s never mentioned.  This is a valid concern, as she’s already running late.  No one ever says, “It will take us an extra day to go around.  What are we going to do?”  Also, there’s a fleet of 23 ships, all of them making a net with the other ships.  Displays show it as being a net, meaning that there should be gaping holes.  The harder it is to go around the blockade, the easier it should be to go through one of those holes.

For that matter, how did they know exactly where to meet the Romulan ships?  You could probably get a pretty good guess, knowing where the Klingon home world is.  However, if I were a Romulan commander and I saw this fleet of ships going along the border, I’d change course immediately.  Cloaking devices may make them a bit arrogant, but wouldn’t it be better to not risk confrontation?

It is nice to see Data take command of a ship.  This is one of a few times in the series that he questions Captain Picard and gets what he wants.  One of the side stories is him having to deal with his first officer, Lt. Cmdr. Hobson, who doesn’t think that an android would make a good captain.  Data gets to put him in his place and eventually earn his respect.

This may not be the best episode to use to introduce someone to the series.  Those that have never seen Star Trek: The Next Generation before will be confused.  A lot of it depends on knowledge not only of the previous episode but of the previous four seasons.  At least the writers did a good job of incorporating previous story lines and building up to this one.


IMDb page

The House of Small Cubes (2008)

Sometimes, simplicity is the answer.  Why build a palace when a tool shed is enough?  What good is it to convey your message only to have it get lost in the details?  The House of Small Cubes is a a short that could best be called minimalist.  There’s no dialogue and it focuses on one person, an old man, who has to add on to his house due to rising waters.

The short starts with the Old Man realizing that the water in his world is rising.  The seems to be a recurring event, as his house, as well as all of the surrounding houses, are built up as the water rises.  Each appears to be just one room, but they are all built on much bigger underwater structures, all presumably comprised of similar rooms.

When the Old Man realizes that the water is rising, he gets to work building his new room.  When he drops his favorite pipe down a hole, he has to dive down to get it, which means donning diving equipment.  As he progresses down from one room to the next, he finds things that he’s left in previous rooms.  It might be a wine glass or an old toy.

He finds his pipe quickly, but decides to keep going.  Each old room brings back corresponding memories.  He remembers being with his family.  He remembers courting his wife and raising a child.  No mention is made of what happened to his family.  We’re left to imagine that the wife passed away and that his children moved out.

In terms of style, it looks like the kind of movie they might have shown on PBS or in grade school.  Since there’s no dialogue, there’s no offensive language to worry about.  None of the imagery is offensive, either.  Small children might wonder what’s going on.  It’s never explained why this world flooded.  The only implication is that time, and memory, keep marching on.

I was able to get this on Netflix and, to be honest, I’d like to see more shorts like this.  It’s not the kind of thing a studio might put on DVD outside of a collection and I haven’t seen too many of those on Netflix, as it‘s only 12 minutes.  (There’s no section for short films.)  It was an easy film to watch.  The animation and music are basic and the story was easy to follow.  It’s something you could easily watch with small children, yet be entertained by as an adult.

IMDb page

Clerks (2000–2001)

It took me a while to see the original Clerks, but I did watch it and I liked it very much.  While looking through DVD sets of TV series, I came across the animated series, which I missed when it first aired.  It’s no wonder considering that there were only six episodes.  Since it was under $10, I decided to buy it.

For those that never saw the movie, it was about two clerks.  (One works at a convenience store and the other at a video store next door.)  They have to deal with a stream of annoying customers.  The primary difference is the format.  The original was a live-action black-and-white movie.  Here, it’s animated, but in color.  The style is thick lines to differentiate the characters and solid colors within.

All of the main characters return.  You have Dante running the Quick Stop, Randal running the video store and Jay and Silent Bob popping in to bother them.  Most episodes start with Dante being called in to open the store, much like in the movie.

Each episode has something different.  In the first, Dante and Randal have to worry about a super store (The Quicker Stop) opening across the street.  They have to take it out to save their jobs.  The second seems to poke fun at clip episodes, considering that it only references itself and the previous episode.

Each episode also has an introduction by Jay and Silent Bob from their palatial estates that they bought with the proceeds from the Clerks movie.  You also get a “previous” and “next time” clip that’s really just a quick joke.  (In one instance, it’s just simple test patterns.)

Each episode is about 21 minutes.  The episodes seem a bit rushed at times, especially the fifth episode, which parodies The Last Starfighter, The Bad News Bears and a few other things.  It tries to put too much into one episode and jumps around a lot.

Also, the movie had a lot more leeway in terms of material and style.  Jay and Silent Bob go from dealing drugs to dealing fireworks.  Also, the characters aren’t allowed to curse.  (Jay and Silent Bob use one of the episode’s introductions to vent.)  They do try to push the envelope (or push buttons) on several occasions.  In one episode, they have lesbians, all voiced by men.  The movie was toned down in certain areas, but tried to make up for it in other areas.  It wasn’t really as funny.

I don’t usually go for the special features, especially considering that there was a DVD-ROM section to the discs.  (I don’t like installing stuff on my computer.)  The one thing I did check out briefly was the animatics, which are just sketches based on the episodes  It wasn’t that interesting since I had just watched the episode.

I also don’t recommend watching the episodes to the end of the credits.  When I did on the first episode, my DVD player froze.  I had to turn off the DVD player and turn it back on to get the DVD back out.  When I tried to watch all of the episodes on the second disc, the same thing happened at the end of the fourth episode.  I don’t know if this had to do with the DVD-ROM or if it was just some sort of fluke.

A lot of people seemed to like the TV series from what I can see, but I really didn’t like it so much.  I wouldn’t recommend buying it.  Renting it, maybe.  If you can catch the episodes on TV, you might want to try catching it.  You might not get the benefit of the introductions, but if you can catch one episode, you can see if it’s worth renting. 

IMDb page

La flûte à six schtroumpfs/The Smurfs and the Magic Flute (1976)

Note:  There are two English dubs.  The most notable difference is that in one, Peewit is called William and McCreep is called Oily Creep.
 

Many years ago, there was a man named Pierre ’Peyo’ Culliford.  In 1952, Peyo introduced the world to Johan and Peewit.  Six years later, The Smurfs made their debut.  Long before the Smurfs got their current CGI/live-action movie franchise, there was an animated film called The Smurfs and the Magic Flute.  First released in 1976, it was based on the comic stories of Johan, Peewit and The Smurfs.

It starts with Johan winning a competition and Peewit subsequently demonstrating what a horrible musician he is.  When a traveling merchant shows up with his wares, the king immediately sends the merchant away.  It isn’t until a few minutes later that he and Johan realize that a six-holed flute has been left behind.  The king tries to destroy it, but ends up attracting Peewit’s attention.  He discovers the flute, which he washes off and starts playing.  It’s soon discovered that the flute can make people dance until they collapse of exhaustion.

Enter Matthew McCreep, who has been looking for the flute.  He comes to the castle and soon manages to get the flute from Peewit.  You’d think that this would be a good thing, as Peewit is having fun making people dance.  The thing is that McCreep is a thief.   It’s McCreep’s intent to use the flute to steal people’s valuables.  They can’t resist if they’re sleeping.  Right?

The king sends Johan and Peewit off to find and recover the flute.  The problem is that when they do find the flute, McCreep is able to use it to foil them.  So, Johan and Peewit visit Homnibus, a wizard who is able to send them to the Smurf’s village.  Since the Smurfs built the flute, they may be able to find some way of counteracting its powers.  It turns out that there’s no way to negate the effects.  For this reason, they have also been looking for the flute.

The Smurfs can, however, build another flute with the same powers, so as to put Johan and Peewit on equal footing with McCreep.  The bad news is that Johan and Peewit are now on a schedule.  Word is that McCreep is going to fund an army to take over the king’s castle.  They manage to track him to an island, where McCreep and Peewit engage in a flute battle with Peewit just barely winning.

There’s a certain nostalgia factor in watching this movie.  The video quality of the version Netflix has isn’t particularly good.  (I don’t know if a good transfer even exists, as the film is from 1976.)  I remember the Smurfs primarily from the Hanna-Barbera cartoon in the 1980s.  I also remember having seen the movie.  I don’t recall how good the quality was back then, but I do remember having liked the movie.

The story is appropriate for younger children.  (It has a G rating.)  I don’t recall any violence onscreen.  (The worst would be the vendor being chased out of town.)  The story is simple and easy to follow.  It’s fairly entertaining for a child, although I don’t know if most children will put up with the animation.  There’s a pretty big disparity between what was available in 1976 and what’s available today.

The animated series ran for several years.  I’m not sure I’d watch it if it became available; it’s clearly meant for children without much regard for adults.  This is basically the kind of movie a parent of the 1980s would leave their child to watch for an hour and a half without worrying about it.  What vague memories I had of the TV series were the same.  It was a very basic plot meant for children.  I don’t know that it would hold much entertainment for me as an adult.  I’d probably get bored with it after the second or third episode.

As for today’s children, I think it’s going to be hit or miss.  If you can still get it streaming on Netflix, it’s worth a shot.  I don’t know that I’d recommend buying it on DVD, though.  I don’t know how many children will take well to it, as it has a very dated feel to it.

IMDb page

Sausage Party (2016)

The first time I heard the term ‘sausage party’ was a Law & Order episode.  A character was using it to refer to a party with an undesirably high ratio of men to women.  (It may take you a moment to get that.  I’ll wait.)  I don’t recall having heard the term much since then.  That’s why, when I came across Sausage Party, I was curious.  I had to wonder how far the writers had gone with the concept.  It looks like they went all out.

The self-aware food items at Shopwell’s grocery store all want to go to The Great Beyond.  A sausage named Frank has plans to unite with Brenda, a bun, in the next life, if only he can stay fresh long enough.  They revere customers as gods.  The gods have the power to take produce to a wonderful life where they’ll be treated well.  They have only a honey mustard squeeze bottle to tell them otherwise.  So convinced is the honey mustard that he commits suicide, imploring Frank to seek out a bottle of Firewater as his last act.

Brenda and Frank are accidentally ejected from their respective packages.  A douche is damaged, meaning he‘ll never be useful.  Brenda and Frank set out an adventure around the grocery store with Douche as the main antagonist.  The sausage and bun find that most of the other food items tend to behave like the stereotypes of their respective countries of origin.  (A German product wants to kill all the Juice, for instance.)  Frank and Brenda meet up with Sammy Bagel, Jr., who sounds like Woody Allen and speaks of his people being displaced.  There’s also a lavash called, I believe, Lavash.  He’s distinctly Arab and doesn’t do much to hide his contempt for Sammy.  (However, both Lavash and Sammy are friends with the hummus.)  Rounding out the party is Teresa del Taco, who is a lesbian.

Frank eventually meets The Immortals, who are all nonperishable foods.  They invented the story of The Great Beyond to keep the other food from freaking out.  The Immortals tell Frank to go to the frozen section to find proof, which Frank eventually has to do alone.  It takes some time and some help, but Frank is able to get the other groceries to revolt against the humans.

The movie might be more appropriately titled Gods and Generalizations.  When you’re trying to play on that many stereotypes, it’s easy to have an epic misfire.  The same goes for the movie’s religious references.  The Great Beyond is little more than a way of placating the population of the grocery store.  I was wondering if a review would even be appropriate.  What would you expect from a movie called Sausage Party, anyway?  This is meant more as a warning to people who want some sort of confirmation.

I mean, you have an literal douche named Douche acting like a figurative douche.  He juices up by basically going down on a juice box.  The female characters don’t seem to hold back on the sex appeal, such as it is.  Oh, and if you were put off by the opening barrage of language, you are not going to want to sit through the final scene with your parents and/or children.  I’m a little hesitant to embed the red-band trailer here due to restrictions by AdSense, but you can easily find it by searching for “Sausage Party Red Band Trailer”.

Most people know what their tolerance is for offensive humor.  This movie will probably push that limit.  I was entertained, but I tend to have a somewhat high tolerance.  It was only the last scene that made me at all uncomfortable.  A few of the other references were unsettling.  I doubt very much that you will be seeing on a broadcast network.  Basic cable, maybe late at night.  This was not intended to be family friendly.  Do not take your children (or parents) to see this movie.

IMDb page

Gremlins (1984)

WARNING:  This movie gives away some details.  I don’t feel that they’ll ruin the movie-going experience, but not everyone might agree.



There was one scene I remember from Gremlins more than any other from that movie.  Kate Beringer (the love interest) is telling Billy about how her father died on Christmas.  She even goes into detail about how he was found a few days later, ruining the holiday for her.  Apparently, there was some controversy when the movie was first released, but it encapsulates the feel of the movie pretty well.  What can be joyous for many can be horrible for a few.  We’re not even talking alone for the holidays horrible.  Christmas is about to get very scary for one small town.

The movie starts with Randall Peltzer looking for the perfect gift for his son.  He finds it in a gift shop in Chinatown.  Alas, the furry little creature, called a mogwai, is not for sale.  Mr. Peltzer manages to get the shop owner’s grandson to sneak the mogwai out the back for a few bills.

There are three rules that the shop owner imparted to Randall.  First, no bright lights.  Sunlight can even kill them.  Second, don’t get them wet.  Third, do not, under any circumstances, feed them after midnight.  The mogwai comes to be known as Gizmo.

Billy is somewhat careful about the first rule.  Gizmo reacts to almost any light, so Billy is always being reminded to be careful.  It doesn’t take long before the second rule is broken.  Billy’s friend spills some water on Gizmo, causing Gizmo great pain.  A few second later, five hairballs pop off, with each forming a new mogwai.  If Gizmo is a well-behaved angel, the five new mogwai are those demon-spawn children you come across every so often.  They always want attention and are harassing Gizmo whenever the get a chance.  It isn’t long before they trick Billy into feeding them after midnight.

Billy’s mother is able to kill four of them, but the group’s leader, named Stripe, manages to escape.  Stripe manages to find his way to the local YMCA where he finds a pool filled with water.  Now, Stripe has an entire army of little troublemakers to help him wreak havoc on Kingston Falls.  They take over a bar, where they drink and smoke and make trouble for Billy’s girlfriend, Kate.  They eventually gather in a movie theater to watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, thus leading (hopefully) to Billy’s endgame.  If you know anything about comedies or horror movies, you know it can’t be that simple.

There are several clichés in the movie, although I’m not sure if they were intentional or not.  The most obvious, of course, is the disregard for rules.  Given some of the dialogue, this is commentary on the human tendency to want to be defiant.  Tell someone not to do something, and they’ll have an uncontrollable urge to do it.  There’s also the tendency to have one of a group of antagonists escape and cause more trouble.  Stripe does this twice.  I’ll admit that there was a larger group of Gremlins the second time; it was impressive that Billy managed to get as many as he did.  Still, why always one?

I’ve always found it odd that timing is always so precise.  You can’t feed a Gremlin after midnight.  What if your clock is off?  Am I supposed to take time zones into account?  If Mogwai predate modern timekeeping, how did people know exactly when to stop feeding them?  For that matter, when can you start feeding them again?  Isn’t it really always after midnight?

It’s also strange that they reproduce by getting water on them.  How did a species evolve like that?  For that matter, when a little fur ball pops off, how do we get the sudden increase in mass?  Where does the extra matter come from?  Also, are we to assume that the water is consumed?  When Stripe enters the pool, could we have ended up with an infinite number of Gremlins?

I suppose that might not have been a bad thing, plot wise.  The Gremlins are the main draw here. The humans are mostly caricatures.  You have the hopeless inventor for a father.  There’s the well-meaning kid.  There’s even the mean old lady who threatens to have Billy’s dog put down.

This is not a movie for young kids.  It was part of the first batch of movies to get a PG-13 rating because it was worse than PG, but not quite R territory.  Much of the proposed violence was taken out, but it’s still pretty scary.  I could see some of it giving small children nightmares.  (Consider the story I led with.)

The movie is a solid horror movie.  I imagine a few people, like myself, will watch it because it’s a classic.  If you haven’t seen it before, you might want to watch it anyway.  The effects are pretty good and the storyline, such as it is, works.  I don’t remember much of the sequel, but word is that a third installment is in the works.  It’s supposed to be a continuation of the same storyline rather than a reboot, so you might want to head over to Netflix while you can get streaming.

IMDb page

Skinwalkers (2006)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

Sometimes, I start watching a movie knowing full well that it's a stinker.  Sometimes, I go in thinking that I have a winner.  Usually, though, it's the former.  In this case, I ordered the movie free on demand.  I knew that this was going to be a stinker.

There are several groups of werewolves.  Some try to be good and avoid eating human flesh whereas others get a rush off of the power that chewing on people brings them.  The good werewolves are hiding a child that could bring an end to all werewolves, but it's not clear how this is to happen.  Not even the main characters really know what the boy is supposed to do.  All anyone knows is that on his thirteenth birthday, he'll be able to do something that ends all of werewolfdom.

The movie was a big letdown, even for someone not really into werewolf movies.  I'd imagine that if you're a big fan, you're going to really regret the day you watched this.  The movie has nothing.  It starts with the bad werewolves capturing someone and pumping him for information on the boy.  They want him dead before his thirteenth birthday, which is in four days.  As you might expect, the bad guys figure out where the kid is hiding.  Gunfights ensue.  People get hurt and/or killed.  We end up with a big fight with one good guy taking on three or four bad guys.  Then, the movie ends with a whimper.

It's not that the movie is really hard to watch.  It's just that you're always expecting more.  Like, how did the werewolves originate?  It's implied that there are more of them, but it's not really shown how or where they live.  The boy and his mother seem incredibly unaware of what the boy is.  They're getting a lot of the major facts as the audience is.

The big fight scene at the end is also a big let down.  The mother and son are put in a cage as a means of protection.  It locks from the inside, therefore it must be safe.  It's so safe that one of the bad guys is able to jump through the roof and attack the mother, despite the fact that the boy, who's standing not ten feet away, is the main target.

When the werewolf finally decides to stop attacking the mother, the mother is given the opportunity to blast the werewolf with a shot gun that doesn't seem to need to be reloaded.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't shotguns normally need to be reloaded after only one or two shots?  The mother is able to get off something like four or five shots.  Even if she is reloading, I don't recall her getting any more ammo with the gun.

From the onset of the big final battle, you know that it's going to come down to the last minute.  The party enters this big warehouse and we're told that there's an hour until midnight.  At midnight, the child turns 13 and he'll be able to do whatever it is that he's able to do to get rid of all werewolves.  Conveniently, there's a clock tower nearby that lets everyone know that it's midnight.  The kid's now 13, but he's not doing anything.  Yes, his power is revealed, but in a very mundane way.  I was expecting some big light show or explosions or something.  Instead, it just happens.

There's a reason that free movies don't cost anything.  We have no character development.  There are no real plot twists to speak of.  We have a gun fight where one person gets shot.  It's not even really clear where the name skinwalker comes from.  It sounds like some bad fetish porn movie.

Also, I find it hard to believe that in the entire history of werewolves that this is the first kid to come along and pose a threat.  The child's ability to affect werewolves seems to come from the fact that he's half human.  You're telling me that no werewolf in the history of werewolves had a kid with a human until now?  Again, we're not really presented with much back story here.

If you're looking for a way to waste a few hours, this is your movie.  Otherwise, don't waste your time.  There are many other, better movies out there.

IMDb page

Stranger Things (Season 1)

There’s always going to be a market for nostalgia.  With Netflix, I have access to all manner of TV shows and movies that I watched as a child.  In fact, I just watched The Smurfs and the Magic Flute, a movie almost as old as I am, thanks to the fact that I could stream it through their service.  That’s another story, though.

Netflix has been producing original content for the past few years and one of their original shows takes place in the early 80s, back when Atari was still new and  Dungeons & Dragons still had a non-advanced version in production.  Stranger Things revolves around a group of four boys:  Dustin Henderson, Lucas Sinclair, Will Byers and Mike Wheeler.  They’re normal 12-year-old kids going to school during the week and playing D&D on the weekend.

The town of Hawkins, Indiana, is your normal, albeit fictional, small town.  They only notable exception is a secret-research facility that you might find in an episode of The X-Files or The Twilight Zone.  The town doesn’t know much about what goes on there.  That’s about to change.  First, Will goes missing.  When I say missing, I mean he actually disappears.  Around the same time, a girl escapes from the secret facility and makes her way to a local diner where the owner tries to help her.

The girl manages to find her way to Will’s three friends, who take to calling her Eleven from a tattoo on her arm.  Meanwhile, Will’s mother, Joyce, is distraught to the point of thinking that Will is trying to contact her from the other side.  I don’t know what you may have seen in coming attractions, but Joyce’s actions may seem like those of someone who doesn’t handle stress well.  Who can blame her?  Her son is missing and she can’t do anything about it.  I doubt I’d be able to remain calm.

The local police chief, Jim Hopper, tries to help her deal with her loss as best he can.  He tells Joyce to take some time to accept and deal with her grief.  The chief has enough to worry about.  Over the course of his investigation, he comes to realize that she might not be far off about what happened to Will.  He was willing to take the evidence at face value, but begins to wonder when he starts to dig deeper.

Chief Hopper also tells Will’s friends not to try and investigate.  (As if that ever worked.)  Dustin, Lucas, Mike and Eleven find that Will is trapped in some sort of alternate dimension, which Eleven calls The Upside Down.  The boys are out of their element, but Eleven was part of some strange experiments and at least knows what they’re up against.

One of the difficulty of dealing with a story like this is balance.  You’re probably wondering if this is full-on out there.  It’s very easy to have Joyce be this over-the-top grieving mother, but she’s not.  Winona Ryder is able to keep it to a believable level.  (After all, you’re not paranoid if they’re really out to get you.  Right?)  There’s also a temptation to go overboard with the 80s stuff.  The series is reminiscent of a lot of things, but doesn’t try to cram all manner of references into each episode.  (The one big product placement seems to be D&D)

It doesn’t look like Netflix is one to release its original content on DVD.  My understand is that it commissions content in hopes of driving subscriptions.  This may not be a bad thing, given the cost of DVD season sets compared to the price of a month of Netflix.  You might be better getting Netflix, especially if you’re not one to rewatch TV shows constantly.

Netflix does have a lot of original content, which makes paying for a month or two worth it.  (If I’m not mistaken, they’re currently offering a free month.  Check the Web site for details.)  This is definitely one of the series I’d recommend checking out if you’re in to shows like The X-Files and Twin Peaks.  It definitely has a similar feel to it.

IMDb page