Wizardry VII: Crusaders of the Dark Savant/Wizardry Gold (1992)

Way back when I was in high school, my cousin introduced me to a game.  He had played it and offered me a chance to play it myself.  The game was Wizardry’s Crusaders of the Dark Savant.  Back then, it was playable on DOS, meaning I had to exit Windows to play it.  I never quite beat the game.  I eventually upgraded Windows to a version where I couldn’t figure out how to get to DOS, so my crusading days were over  That is until I found the Windows version.  In 1996, the game was re-released as Wizardry Gold.  Here, it was on a single CD-ROM instead of two floppies.  I could play the game once again.

For purposes of this review, the actual game doesn’t vary much from the DOS version to the Windows version.  Almost all of it, from what I recall, is cosmetic.  The controls are different.  The graphics are better.  However, the storyline and whatnot are the same.  If you’re looking to buy the game, you’ll probably have to look for the Windows version anyway.

The game is actually the middle part of a trilogy.  It began with Wizardry VI, which I never had a chance to play.  Those that have can import their saved games.  If you haven’t, either, don’t worry.  You can start a new game as if you’re entering the game universe for the first time.  You’ll have to create a party of up to six characters, selecting race and class.

The object is to find something called the Astral Dominae.  It has the power to control the universe.  If it falls in to the wrong hands, it could be bad news.  There are several other parties, like the Umpani and the T’Rang, that are interested in it.  You can form alliances (or not) as the game progresses.  There are side missions you can go on (or not) to pass the time.

The game is similar to many of the RPGs of the time.  Movement is tile based, meaning you move from one square to the next.  If you explore the area you wake up in before entering the city, you’ll find a map kit.  In the Windows version, there’s a square that stays open showing your immediate area.  (If you don’t find it, you’ll be able to buy one much later in the game.)  Combat is turn based, meaning you’ll choose what you want to do, then everyone attacks in a random order.

I’ve almost always played with the sound off for several reasons.  First, the sound slows down the combat significantly.  Second, the sound isn’t that great.  (Think grunts and MIDI files.)  Third, I like to listen to music or watch TV while playing.  The only down side is that I have to turn off the sound each time I start the game.

Each character has three bars.  Each can be restored by fountains, potions, sleeping or magic.  Red indicates hit points. If the character runs out of hit points, they die.  (You can get around this by resurrecting the character or reloading the game.)  Yellow indicates stamina.  When the yellow bar runs out, they fall asleep.  If the character is swimming at the time, this also means death.  You can restore stamina easily by sleeping.  Blue indicates magic ability, which is divided into six categories for those who use it.  If you run out of points for a category, you can’t cast in that category any more.

Each class has a different set of spells.  Mages can get nuclear blast, which is good for attacking several groups of enemies at once.  They also get astral gate, which is good for demons and the like.  Priests, on the other hand, can heal wounds and identify items, both of which are useful.  Fighters and thieves can’t cast spells, but also have their uses.  You’ll want at least one thief in your party to disarm traps and pick locks.  You’ll also want at least one mage and one priest.  I’ve beaten the game with no fighters, but I had to pass on a lot of useful items.

Most magic users will start with two spells when you create the character.  You’ll be able to level up as you progress in the game.  When you do so, you’ll be able to spend points on various abilities.  For all characters, start with swimming until you get to 10, then add to climbing until you reach 10.  Every 10 points you assign to swimming allow you to swim one space at a time.  You earn points by swimming for each space you swim, so you can practice along a shoreline to build up to 100.  (Having 100 points allows you to get about 6-8 spaces, depending on various factors.)  You’ll also want to add points to mapping for whoever carries the map.  Getting to ten allows you to see walls.  I think when you get to about 20, you get to see doors.  After this, more points don’t really do much more.  Getting to around 70 lets you see stairs and stuff, which isn’t that important.  For magic users, you’ll need to add points to their magic stat.  This is what allows you to get better spells later on.

One thing to consider is that different classes can’t use certain items.  It seems that only fighters can use the good armor and weapons.  When in New City, which is the first town you’ll come across, you’ll find three places that sell stuff:  Paluke’s, Belcanzor’s Magic Emporium and Arms of Argus.  Paluke’s sold crappy clothing that may be cursed.  I’ve gotten a few good caps and hats in the beginning of the game, but that’s it.  Arms of Argus had proven useful.  Rossarian will occasionally have good stuff like bows and arrows, although not always.  (If you need arrows on a reliable basis, you’ll have to wait until you find the Rattkin Ruins.)  Everyone should be able to find something to fight with.  Belcanzor’s sold mostly magic stuff.  You may find some useful stuff there, but he’s only in New City at night.

The biggest drawback I found to having to buy stuff was that those NPCs that were in a fixed location would only sell you one item (or batch of items) at a time.   Willow arrows, for instance, come in packs of 100.  If Rossarian has one quiver available, you have to buy that one, then exit and come back in to buy another.  It tends to get a bit tedious if you’re trying to equip four of your characters with arrows.  If you want to buy a dozen of a potion, but the guy sells it one at a time, you have to go in a dozen times to get them all, then merge them all together.  It would have been much easier to be able to buy in multiples.

When you fight, you have to equip the stuff you’re using.  Some swords require one while others require two.  If you’re using a bow, both the bow and arrows have to be equipped.  There are other items, like whips, that can be used single handed.  Not everyone can use every weapon. Also, character position determines if they can fight.  Your party is arranged in two columns, three on each side of the main screen.   The top left is position 1, top right is position 2 and so on.  The first three positions can fight, if armed, regardless of what they’re using.  If your character is using certain weapons, like bows or whips, they can fight from any position.  Also, thieves can attack while hiding, potentially allowing them to attack every other turn.

You’re not going to see people attack you until they occupy the same square as you.  This is also true of NPCs.  You’ll be walking along and suddenly find yourself in battle.  Some squares will always have a battle the first time you enter that square.  A few squares will always have a battle for you.  Most of your battles, though, will be random.  If you don’t want to do battle at the moment, you can quit and reload the game at your last save point.

On that note, you can save at any point in the game.  This allows you to save right before a major required battle or trapped chest.  If someone dies, you can reload.  I do recommend keeping one means of resurrection, at least until two of your characters get the spell.  Some battles are tough.  You may have a character die at the very last round of a battle.  I’ve also had cases where a character was turned to stone or I saved before checking if everyone was alive.  It pays to have options.

Beating the game is somewhat difficult.  There are several parchments, called maps, which usually give vital clues to solving the puzzle.  One is meant to mislead you and one is part of a physical puzzle.  The game seems to start with the maps scattered around the game world.  You’ll be able to find some during the game while others will be taken by NPCs.  You’ll have to find them by talking to NPCs,  but luck will factor into it.

One interesting thing about the maps I should mention is that all but one can be bought and sold  for 10,000 GP.  There are a few characters that you have to kill during the game and one that can be killed without any apparent consequences.  This means that if you have any of these maps and find yourself in a position to kill one of those characters, your last interaction with them (before killing them) could be to sell them the maps for 10,000 GP each.  When you kill them, you can take the maps back and get a nice amount of money in the process.  (For some reason, NPCs have unlimited funds to buy stuff.)

Back when I was playing the DOS version, there was a toll number you could call for hints.  I never used this, as it cost more than I was willing to spend, but I was able to make good progress in the game regardless.  Upon finding the Windows version, I needed a little help recalling some of the solutions, so I referred to a walkthrough.  If you need help, they are available.  There’s even an interactive map.  For those that don’t want the walkthrough, someone managed to stitch together a map of the full world.  You can use it for reference with minimal spoilers.  (You’ll mostly be getting the location of treasure chests and whatnot.)  I am in awe of the effort that this must have taken.

I imagine that most of the people that would play the game would do so for the nostalgia.  (The same is probably true of anyone reading this review.)  People that grew up in the age of MMORPGs might find this game laughable, but it had a solid storyline and game play.  If you visit the aforementioned map, you’ll see that there’s a lot to explore.  It fascinated me that someone actually took the time to put a somewhat-circular path in the Myrmideon Forest.  From what I’ve read, there was actually supposed to be a Devil Falls, but time constraints forced it’s removal.  It would be interesting to see what the original programmers and writers would have come up with if they had the time and money to do everything they wanted.

Now that I’ve beaten the game, I’ll probably be revisiting it every few months.  It’s always fun to revisit an old game like this.  It’s a shame that the company that made it went out of business.  It does make finding new copies somewhat difficult.  I checked Amazon recently and there did appear to be a few copies.  You may be able to find a few copies on eBay.  I’d like to try Wizardry VIII, but I don’t know how easy that will be to find.

For those of you that are visiting this review for the nostalgia, please feel free to leave a comment and share it with your friends.  I’m always looking for other people who have played and enjoyed the game.  We can still remember all the good times.  Right?


Wikipedia page

Identity Matrix -- Jack L. Chalker

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

Victor Gosner was your average social outcast. He never had many friends and had no real connection to society. He was just some guy camping in the back woods of the Yukon when some government agents and a Native American girl stumbled upon him. Before he knew it, Victor Gosner was that girl, trapped inside of her body. His former body had been taken over by an alien that was residing in the girl’s body. Gosner didn’t know how lucky he was to be alive. Usually, when one of the aliens switched bodies, the old body was killed along with the personality that used to inhabit the new body.

He found out rather quickly, though. He was on the run as a new person, without much money and any sense of a legal identity. He made it to a ferry where he met up with Dorian Tomlinson, a 19-year-old college student. Unfortunately, another encounter with one of those aliens put Victor in Dorian’s body and Dorian in that of the girl. That’s where things start to get complicated.

One of the agents that were initially with the girl, Harry Parch, takes the alien in for questioning. He also takes Victor and Dorian with him. After what happened, he couldn’t really just leave them. He explains that Earth is at war with the Urulu, which is what the alien race calls itself. There’s apparently also another alien race, but Parch has as of yet been unable to actually meet one. (It also has the ability to switch bodies at will.) Dorian and Victor are recruited to help Parch fight against the aliens, whatever they may call themselves.

Parch is in charge of a government project called the IMC. Its their job to find a way to do what the aliens do, which would give Earth an advantage. After a while, Victor and Dorian realize that Parch can’t be trusted. It’s up to Dorian, Victor, one of the aliens, and an old friend of Victor's to stop Parch before we become the enemy.

The book seems to alternate between science fiction and erotica. Victor had always wondered what it would be like to be a woman, and he got his chance to find out. There was also a part of the book where he and Dorian had to be “disposed of” for knowing too much. Since he is now a very attractive woman, he’s reprogrammed to be a stripper. Dorian is sent to a reservation.

Aside from that, it’s a very exciting book. No one can trust anyone, really. Harry Parch is the only character that has immunity, yet there are other reasons not to trust him. He really is the perfect character given his role. He is the lead government agent in charge of the facility; he needs a certain amount of detachment. Many of the characters worked out well. Even the erotic elements can be thought of as a necessary part of the book.

It turns out that there really are two alien races. The other race is called, simply, The Association. The Urulu are thought of as good guys and the Association is thought of as the bad guys. The Association essentially creates hordes of mindless zombies, which take the form of a huge cult on Earth. (It’s actually the result of a few smaller cults coming together.) It’s a little cliche, but it gets the point across.

The trouble is that it’s hard to think of a victory against The Association as a victory. We now have the ability to do what they can. It’s really a matter of what we’ll do with that ability. We’ll either become like the Association or like the Urulu. In the end, will we become a species that we can live with?

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) full movie

I finally decided to upload a public-domain movie to my YouTube channel.  It's one that I've already reviewed before. I figured I'd give everyone an easy way to view it.  If I can get enough subscriberws and viewers, I may consider posting more.  I'll have to see how it goes.

Monsters (2010)

Usually, synopses are pretty accurate. Not always, but usually.  Netflix has Monsters listed as an alien-invasion movie, but it’s not at all what I expected.  Instead of aliens coming in with guns blaring, it’s more of the invasive species type.  According to the movie’s timeline, a probe was sent out into space.  It returned with some sort of aliens.  When the probe crashed in Mexico, said aliens begin to multiply.  The entire northern part of Mexico is now quarantined.

Andrew Kaulder is a photojournalist who’s suddenly tasked with finding Samantha Wynden  and getting her the heck out of Mexico and back to the United States.  He wants to stay, as he’s in the area because of the monsters.  Getting the right photograph pays well.  However, Sam is the boss’s daughter, making her the priority.  So, he gets her to the coast only to find that it costs $5,000 to buy a ferry ticket back to the United States.

This isn’t a big problem at first.  Then, Andrew gets drunk, which leads to him getting drunk.  This gives a one-night stand the opportunity to steal their passports.  Now, Sam has to give up her engagement ring to get both of them home by land, which is a lot more dangerous.  This leads to a several-day journey where they survive and bond.  We learn about Sam and Andrew and those that are waiting for them at home.

I should warn you that the movie starts with the story’s last scene, which does kind of give things away.  I’m not crazy about this kind of movie, but I was able to get past it.  My big issue was that I was expecting more from the aliens.  Yes, they’re an ever-present threat, but they seem to only come out at night.  The only time you see them during the day is when they’re dead.  Mostly, this is done to add to the suspense.  You can’t quite see all of them, but you get to see enough that you no there might be trouble.  There are maybe two or three scenes where we get some suspense.

Instead, the movie is more about the two people that are being drawn closer together by shared risk.  Andrew is down there basically on business.  We never really find out why Sam is there.  They’re the opposites that eventually attract.

I did like watching the movie.  As a movie, it’s an interesting way to spend 93 minutes.  There is room for potential.  Very few are given about the aliens.  People will comment on mating habits and stuff, but that’s about it.  We don’t find out which planet they come from.  (It’s implied that they’re from within our own solar system.)  I don’t think they were even given a name.

The angle of an invasive species could have worked well against the backdrop of Mexico and the issue of illegal immigration.  For that matter, an invasive species could have worked well in its own right, showing us what happens when something comes in and displaces the local species.  Not much was really done in either regard.  We have a wall between the U.S. and Mexico that serves as a finish line, but that’s really about it.

IMDb shows Monsters: Dark Continent with a release date of November 28, 2014 in the UK, but it looks like there’s very little connection between the two movies.  The directors and writers are different.  I’m not sure what the story will be with that, but I would be interested in seeing it when I get the chance.


Official site

Age of Tomorrow (2014)

Note:  I’m going to give away major details, including the movie.  I don’t think there should be much risk of you watching it, since it’s a horrible movie.  If you want to be surprised, now would be a good time to stop reading.

I used to think that happy endings were kind of cliché.  It took something away from the movie knowing that someone would walk away happy.  Even in a horror movie, it may have been the bad guy, allowing for a sequel.  I’ve come to realize why this isn’t such a bad thing.

Age of Tomorrow starts off with what is called an asteroid heading for Earth.  (The reason I don’t say “appears to be” is that it has spikes all over its surface.  No asteroid should look like this.)  General Magowan calls on Captain James Wheeler to lead a team to destroy it.  Of course, Wheeler has sworn off the military due to having lost one person on a mission, but is convinced once he realizes the potential repercussions.  He demands to bring his own team.  Along for the ride is physicist Dr. Gordon.

When they get to the asteroid, they discover that it’s no asteroid.  They’re on an alien space ship, which explains the normal gravity and everything.  The team is attacked by a spherical machine, which Dr. Gordon instantly knows will transport them someplace else rather than kill them outright.  On Wheeler’s order, the rest of the team allows itself to be transported.

They find themselves on an alien planet.  They have a transmitter, but it will take an hour to charge.  While looking around, they notice humans being led into a facility by aliens.  Rather than hide the transmitter and to some reconnaissance, they leave the transmitter in plain sight and barge in.  All of the team members are eventually killed.  That’s what you get for taking a mission with a $3-million payday.

The B story, which takes place mostly on Earth, involves a firefighter that has to go in to work, despite it being his weekend with his daughter.  She wanders off into downtown L.A., which happens to be where the aliens are attacking.  He eventually finds her, only to see her transported to the alien world.  This leaves him to join up with the military and help with a rescue mission while General Magowan destroys the asteroid.

If only it were that easy.

General Magowan destroys the asteroid, but the daughter is shot.  Both Magowan and the father realize how screwed they are.  There are several dozen aliens surrounding the father, one of whom shows them Earth surrounded by several dozen asteroids.  The father decides to go down fighting.

This is one of those movies that’s going to be very easy to pick apart.  The first thing that caught my attention was that they happened to have a ship for the team to go up to the asteroid.  It’s said that it’s supposed to be some lunar-base supply ship.  I can excuse this, as it’s implied that the military is lying to Wheeler.  But it does seem rather convenient that the military has a lot more of these, which are shown later in the movie.  (The same goes for having Earth-like gravity on the supposed asteroid, as it’s not really an asteroid.)

The thing that gets me is that very little is mentioned about the physics of the blast.  They’re sending up a physicist, but she makes no mention of directing the blast.  It’s not really enough to destroy the asteroid.  If I understand correctly, spreading around the mass just spreads around the damage.

Also, why is it that alien planets always have trees and plants?  In some movies, it’s understandable.  You’re colonizing a planet.  You might even be terraforming the planet.  It would make sense to put trees on your new planet if they’re not already there.  Not only do the aliens look humanoid, they happen to have plant life that looks like ours.  I won’t even get into the fact that their technology looks almost identical.

The writing is bad all over.  This is one of those movies where the daughter tells her father that she’s in some random office building and he magically knows which one.  It seems like the characters, many of them trained professionals, are simply there to be killed.  We get some nice shots of people getting their heads blown off.  Still, I’d like to see someone stop for a moment and think about what they’re doing.  If you’re wondering, there’s no sex or nudity.  All of the objectionable imagery comes from the gore.  This is not a movie for children.

I’m not sure where the name comes from.  The official site doesn’t say much.  I think maybe it’s supposed to be a title that thinks it’s more awesome than it really is.  Quite frankly, so is the movie.  Kelly Hu and Robert Picardo are the only names that I recognized.  I wonder if they lost a bet or something.

IMDb page

Starcrash (1978)

Note:  I’m going to give away major details, including the ending.  If you’re not into spoilers, you may want to skip reading this until you’ve seen the movie.


Shortly after I was born, Star Wars came out.  A lot of things happened as a result.  Most of these things were movies similar to Star Wars.  Paramount was prompted to scrap a TV show to make a Star Trek movie.  Battlestar Gallactica was made.  There were other movies and TV shows, many of which have faded off into the background.  I might not have known about Starcrash had it not been for badmovies.org.  There’s good reason for that.

The movie starts with a ship looking for Count Zarth Arn, an evil-overlord wannabe, who has this weapon that can drive people insane.  When the ship closes in on Zarth Arn, it’s attacked by these red blobs.  Three people manage to escape, leaving the ship to crash and burn.  We also have two people, Stella Star and Akton, trying to evade the police.  They’re caught and sentenced to life in prison. 

Stella manages to escape from prison only to discover that she’s being released by The Emperor of the Galaxy to find the ship.  It’s pretty important; his son, The Prince of the Galaxy, the only heir to the Empire, is on that ship.  Hopefully, he managed to make it to one of those escape pods.  Oh, and it turns out that Akton knew all about this.  He has precognitive abilities.

So, Akton and Stella are off under the watchful eyes of Police Chief Thor and Robot Sherriff Elle.  (Elle has a southern accent, so I’ve taken to calling him Southern Elle.)  They manage to find the first pod on a a sandy planet of Amazonian women.  How do we know they’re Amazonian?  Who else would build a giant robot with breasts?  They try to kill Elle and actually capture Stella.  Stella is taken to their leader, who’s in with The Evil Count.  Elle didn’t actually die, though.  He’s able to save Stella and make it back to the ship, but not before meeting the aforementioned giant robot.

The next pod is on an ice planet.  Elle and Stella are once again sent out to locate the pod, leaving Thor to knock out Akton and reveal himself to be one of The Evil Count’s minions.  Thor’s plan is to leave Elle and Stella to freeze to death.  Being that Akton can see into the future, he saw the whole thing coming and was able to prepare.  In a stunning comeback, he beats Thor and lets Elle and Stella back in.

With Thor no longer in the picture, Elle is left to see Stella and Akton to the third planet.  It turns out that this is the planet with the mysterious death blobs we saw in the beginning.  The party survives to meet the natives, who subsequently beat the circuits out of Elle, leaving Stella to run and find this masked guy who can repel the natives. With a light saber, no less.  Oh, and it turns out that he’s played by David Hasselhoff.  This fact alone makes the movie worth sitting through.  Those that grew up in the 80s may remember a show called Knight Rider.  Seeing Michael Knight wearing just a little too much makeup and waving around a light stick is definitely worth the price of admission.

It also turns out that this is where The Evil Count’s weapon is based.  The party manages to find it, only to have the Count show up and set the entire planet to autodestruct.  Fortunately, the Emperor isn’t going to let his son die.  He has the technology to stop the flow of time just long enough to explain what he’s doing and get everyone off the planet.  (Well, almost everyone.  Akton has outlived his usefulness and fades off into a low-end light show.)

So, now that the Prince of the Galaxy is saved, the Emperor can get the business of properly defeating the Count.  This proves to be difficult.  It eventually takes a last-ditch effort to defeat the Count, thus saving the day.  Most of the major characters live happily ever after.

As I said, I found this through badmovies.org.  This is not a movie to be taken seriously.  You know a movie is going to be bad when the movie uses the same shot of space over and over again.  Not only that, the shot has way more stars than one would expect to see.  Yes, there are stellar nurseries out there that have a lot of stars, but I wouldn’t expect to see that many stars that many times.  Add to this the obvious use of models.  It’s almost laughable.

Akton was an interesting character in that he was obviously what’s called a McGuffin.  His only purpose was to serve as Deus Ex Machina whenever the characters got into trouble.  He mentions that revealing the future is illegal, which implies that they’ve had to deal with the issue.  However, it’s perfectly ok for him to see the bad guys coming and do something about it himself.

Then, there are The Emperor and his son.  If you were the ruler of the galaxy, why would you let your only heir out in battle?  You’d think that this would afford him some protection.  Yes, he’s serving with a military crew, but it’s a dangerous situation he’s going into.  You didn’t have to be Akton to see something like this coming.

Oh, and why would the Count destroy the planet with his megaweapon on it?  Did he have others?  He stated that the whole thing was a ruse to lure the Emperor to the planet, but that didn’t seem to go that well.  You’d think you’d have a backup weapon, especially a weapon that powerful.

This is one of those movies I’d recommend for a good laugh.  Very little is objectionable.  The only notable exception is seeing Stella in some rather revealing clothing.  I was able to get this streaming through Netflix, which meant I didn’t have to waste a lot of time or effort on it.  Also, it was made in Italy, which explains some of the poor dubbing.  (There’s not much, but it is noticeable in places.)  It’s not a great movie, but it is watchable if you don’t expect much from it.

IMDb page

The Thirteenth Floor (1999)

Note:  This review is reposted from Epinions.

Some questions are hard to answer. What is reality? What is life? Why are we here? When a company creates a virtual reality, people have to start asking these questions. They create a rendition of the 1930s that’s a little off in terms of the colors, but otherwise seems real. There are seemingly real people who sleep in seemingly real beds and eat seemingly real food. A user can connect and take the identities of one of the characters.

Hannon Fuller, the man who created the system, figures out something incredibly disturbing. It’s so disturbing that he has to leave a note for Douglas Hall, one of his employees, in the system. The problem is that Hall is suspected of Fuller’s death. There’s a period of a couple of hours that he can’t remember, which puts doubt in his mind.

So, he goes into the system to find the note. Thing is that the guy he gave it to isn’t telling. He also finds out that Fuller had a daughter and that the daughter is here to shut down the project, as per Fuller’s wishes. Thing is that no one knew that Fuller had a daughter or that he wanted to shut down the project. After all the hard work that they put into it, why shut it down?

There are a lot of implications for a machine like that. There are some positives, like using it for training. Tweak the physics a little and you give police a chance to train in situations without risking death. You could also have virtual vacations if you perfected it. You would also have your own virtual playground, which could be a good or bad thing, depending on the user. (Imagine a virtual-reality Grand Theft Auto or interactive adult films.)

It does bring up the question of ‘being’ someone else. In the movie, the people generally assume the identities of people that look like them. However, you could put someone in the body of someone different. Someone could find out what it’s like to be bound to a wheelchair or what it’s like to be a minority. Those questions aren’t really dealt with in the movie. It's primarily a murder mystery. Did Hall really do it? If not, who did? You even get a twist midway through the movie.

Reality isn’t always what it seems. It’s also not all that it’s cracked up to be. The characters in the program go about their lives not knowing that they’re in a simulation. However, when one finds out, they begin to question what reality is. I have to give the movie credit for taking something that other books and movies have done and exploring it a little more. The movie gets four stars.

IMDb page