Dolittle (2020)

There seem to be a lot of movies lately that are meant to test the waters.  Maybe they’re setting up a TV show.  There might be a sequel planned.  It could be that the movie is an expensive advertisements for toys or dolls.  I don’t think this movie fits into any of those categories.  I think that somewhere along the line, someone had to say to an actor, “Yeah… I know.  I know… But you have one more movie in your contract.”

The story of Dr. Dolittle is fairly well known, even if it’s on a basic level.  It’s about a doctor that can talk to animals.  In this instance, Dr. John Dolittle and his wife are given a plot of land by Queen Victoria.  The two live there and treat all manner of animals until his wife dies.

The story begins years later when Tommy Stubbins accidentally shoots a squirrel.  Polly, a rather intelligent parrot, leads Tommy to Dolittle’s property, where he meets Carmel Laniado.  Carmel has been sent by Queen Victoria to summon Dolittle, as she’s fallen ill.

Carmel and Tommy find the house in disarray.  Dolittle has given up doing much of anything since the death of his wife.  He becomes motivated again when Carmel informs him that the property reverts to the Crown upon the death of The Queen.

So, Dolittle, Tommy and several animals have to find a book that contains the location of a magical fruit that can cure The Queen.  Of course, they’ll have setbacks and save her just in time.  Of course, what else would you expect from a family-friendly story that’s been done already?

“Done already” about sums it up.  There wasn’t anything particularly new or interesting in the movie.  It was sort of like someone took a pilot episode for a TV series and decided to make into a movie without really changing the script.

There’s very little character development and what development there is comes in very small increments.  Dolittle is a recluse who sort of learns to deal with people again after being nudged in that direction.  Chee-Chee is a scared gorilla that eventually manages to find some courage at exactly the right moment.

There’s not a lot of major violence.  In fact, when the squirrel is shot, I don’t remember seeing a lot of blood.  It might have been there, but I honestly don’t recall seeing any.  There are a few tense scenes, but everyone comes out all right.  It’s about as PG as I’ve seen in recent years.

I remember someone talking about the Sears/K-Mart merger, saying that you can’t combine two mediocre companies and get a better company out of it.  You’re just going to get a larger mediocre company out of it.  I find that this is the case with this movie.

I like Robert Downey, Jr.  I like a lot of the actors who voice the animals.  Everything about the movie is adequate.  I just don’t think that there are too many inspired elements to the movie.  It’s like someone was going to great pains to hit the all the marks exactly.  Nothing spectacular.  It’s like the goal was to make the most basic adaptation possible.  This is exactly the kind of movie you might show in middle school or high school if there’s a free day and you need something rather vanilla.

IMDb page

 

The Dead Don't Die (2019)

Who knew that polar fracking was a bad thing?  I mean, the fracking industry said it’s perfectly safe, so it must be.  Right?  I mean, so the Earth’s orbit was tilted just enough to raise the dead.  No biggie.  How bad could it be?  The people of Centerville are about to find out.

The police department has only three members:  Chief Cliff Robertson, Officer Ronnie Peterson and Officer Mindy Morrison.  (It would seem that Mindy serves mostly as a dispatcher, though.)  It’s a small town with just over 700 residents, not including the undead.  The epidemic starts with two bodies rising from their respective graves searching for coffee instead of brains.  That takes them to the local diner, where the two zombies kill the staff.

Soon, zombies are everywhere.  It becomes overwhelming for the three police officers, who have to defend the town essentially by themselves.  No attempt is made to call in for backup from neighboring towns, but they do have new undertaker Zelda Winston on their side.  As with most zombie movies, decapitation seems to be the main means of stopping the undead., so it’s fortunate that she’s really good with a blade.

The zombies aren’t particularly good in combat, but there are a lot of them.  Each becomes obsessed with what they loved in life.  This could be as general as their favorite type of drink or as specific as a particular brand of candy.  Ronnie and Zelda are each good enough to take out quite a few of them, but it’s not enough.  They just keep coming and there’s no end in sight.

The movie tries to walk the fine line between being subtle and being obvious.  We get that being a zombie is akin to being a good consumer and buying the lies of an entire industry.  But I’m not really sure where the movie is going with it.  All anyone does is try to avoid the zombies.

Farmer Miller is a key example of this.  He wears a Keep America White Again cap and goes so far as to say that his coffee is too black…er…too strong, or whatever.  Everyone just sighs and goes back to what they were doing.  Then, the first zombie Farmer Miller has to deal with is, or was, a black man.

There’s also a certain amount of irony is the anti-consumer message given that there’s a fair number of products mentioned.  Ronnie and Mindy discuss specific brands of cars.  As I mentioned, brads of candy are named.  Ronnie has a Star Wars keychain, prompting Zelda to comment that it was a good piece of fiction.  (Given how many times the title track is mentioned, I suspect this is meant to satirize product placement rather than promote a particular item.)

The movie has its funny moments, but falls flat sometimes.  For instance, I didn’t get the whole thing with the pets and livestock disappearing.  Is it that they knew our time was up?  It’s not shown where they go or what they intend to do.  They simply leave.  (The same could be said of Zelda, for that matter.)

There are even some self-aware moments, such as when Ronnie reveals that Jim (presumably referring to writer/director Jim Jarmusch) let him read the entire script.  I do think that Ronnie was right, though.  This isn’t going to end well.

IMDb page

Hotel Transylvania (2012) = A Nonlethal Varsity

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

I don’t know why, but when I get free stuff, my standards seem to be a lot lower.  This applies even when I have a wide range of selections to choose from.  Take Redbox.  Occasionally, I get codes for free movies, but the codes have to be used that day.  One of the problems with Redbox is that I can’t always get my first choice.  Sometimes, I can’t even get my second or third choice.  Since I’m already at the kiosk, wasting the code seems like a bad idea.  Even if I don’t like the movie, I’ll get a review out of it.

Hotel Transylvania was such a title.  I’m not a huge fan of Adam Sandler.  I knew going into this that he voiced Dracula, but he was at least tolerable in Click, so I figured that I’d give Hotel Transylvania a chance.  If you’re reading this, it means that I’ve gotten my review out of it and have commenced forgetting about the movie.

The story is that Dracula wants to protect his daughter, Mavis.  He hasn’t had the best of luck with humans.  Most monsters are of similar mind, so Dracula opened Hotel Transylvania.  The idea was that he’d build it someplace that humans wouldn’t know about and would set things up so that they wouldn’t want to go there even if they stumbled upon it.

Well, everyone’s coming over for Mavis’s 118th birthday celebration and wouldn’t you know it, a human named Johnny happens to stumble upon the hotel.  (Actually, he follows some monsters back from Dracula’s ill-advised attempt to trick Mavis into staying at the hotel.)  Anyway, Dracula notices Johnny before anyone else does.  Killing him outright is out of the question.  He can’t have him stay, though, for fear of upsetting the guests.  Sneaking him out proves problematic, so Dracula tries to hide Johnny as a long-lost relative of the right arm of Frankenstein’s monster, Johnny Stein.  Every attempt to deal with Johnny causes further complications, eventually leading to Johnny meeting (and falling for) Mavis.

This is what makes up most of the movie’s 91 minutes.  It’s Dracula being an overprotective father and making a few mistakes along the way, then having to fix them in the end when he realizes what it will really take to make his daughter happy.  Along the way, you have a lot of familiar monsters, at least in name.  You have Wayne the Wolfman, Frankenstein’s Monster, Eunice (a.k.a. Bride of Frankenstein), Quasimodo, the Invisible Man and so on.  I don’t think any of them act the way that they did in the movie.  Frankenstein is very friendly, for instance, even if he does fall apart on occasion.  Wayne is also normal father that tries to provide for his wife and many children.

It was a good movie, but it wasn’t great.  The one big drawback was Fran Drescher.  Had I known she was in the movie, I probably would have rented something else.  As with Sandler, I’m not particularly a big fan.  She wasn’t bad in this movie, but knowing that both were in this movie probably would have killed it.  There were a lot of people that I did like, such as Steve Buscemi, CeeLo Green and Jon Lovitz.

I also wasn’t a big fan of the style of animation.  It was a little exaggerated for me.  As I said, I was renting this for free, so I figured I’d at least try it.  However, animation is already a strike for some people.  Even for those that like animation, they may not like this style.  There were also a few scary moments when Dracula tried to intimidate Johnny.  It wasn’t wet-your-pants scary, but I was caught off guard and thought that it was a little out of place for a comedy.  We’re talking a few shots, a second or two each.

Ultimately, I have to learn to be more selective the next time I go to Redbox.   I think part of the problem with Redbox is that I tend to feel a little rushed and given the limited selection, I usually get the first thing that seems safe rather than take my time to find something I like.  Getting a movie like Hotel Transylvania is the result.  It wasn’t a horrible movie, but it wasn’t a great movie, either. 

IMDb page