Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Cyberotica: Computer Escapes (1996)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

Adult films are like any other genre.  While there are some great titles, you’re bound to come across a few that stink.  Cyberotica is one such title.  I’ve had this one for a while.  I don’t remember how much I paid, but I hope it wasn’t much.

The ‘plot’, or rather the story used to string together scenes of naked women, is that a full-emersion sexual experience is offered by this company.  Women can go in and, by putting on a headset, have a sexual experience.  There are basically seven ‘experiences’ as follows:

I.  Brunette gets massaged poolside
II.  Another woman plays with the same guy at a beach
III.  Lesbian scene
IV.  Tattooed woman gets it on with a guy
V.  Brunette on a jet ski
VI.  Blonde gets it on with a guy
VII.  Brunette does a strip show several times by magically changing clothes

I might have enjoyed this except for two things:  bad acting and bad video quality.  There wasn’t much dialogue.  It was mostly a woman sending customers to a guy that can read newspapers upside down.  The guy would then explain the procedure before plugging the women into the system.

You may have noticed that I didn’t give detailed explanations.  There’s not much to explain.  In the first experience, a woman gets manhandled…er…massaged for a few minutes.  In the fifth scene, it’s a woman riding a jet ski for way more time that I need to see her ride a jet ski, and I do mean ride a jet ski.

It looked like the producers didn’t have much money.  It’s not that I expect good acting or the best video quality, but I’d like someone that can do better than the typical bad-acting choppy delivery.  I’d also like something that looks like it wasn’t filmed on a used VHS tape.

This was the Collectors Edition, which meant some bonus scenes (not really saying much) and had some trailers, which I didn’t bother with.  The movie was 55 minutes, most of which I skipped over.  Some of the women were attractive, but some weren’t.  I’ll admit that it was a matter of preference.  You’ll probably find different women attractive.

I suppose it’s like they say:  No one is a complete waste, as they can at least serve as an example of what not to do.  This is one of those movies that I’d avoid watching if you’re interested in watching an adult film.  If you’re interested in making one and want to see what low production values will get you, this is what you should watch, at least to understand why you should be prepared to spend some money to make your movie.

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