Ad Astra (2019)

Space is boring.  It’s mind-numbingly boring.  It’s a whole lot of nothing with a little bit of stuff thrown in here and there.  You might find something worth looking at, but you’ll probably spend most of your time with little or nothing to do.  Maybe you’ll be alone.  Maybe you’ll have someone to pass the time with.  All things considered, though, you have a lot of nothing to look forward to.  Bring a book.

I’m sorry.  Did I say space?  I meant Ad Astra.  When I saw the coming attractions, I thought that it might be some big thing about how a space mission went wrong.  The movie starts with Roy McBride.  He’s supposed to be this legend.  His pulse never goes above 80, which makes him great for dangerous work.  Unfortunately, dangerous work doesn’t lend itself to things like marriage.

One day, he’s called in to a top-secret mission about the Lima Project.  What’s so special about the Lima Project?  It was headed by H. Clifford McBride, Roy’s father.  The mission was lost in the outer reaches of space.  The military thinks that the space ship might be responsible for power surges on Earth.  It’s never explained exactly why this is.  All we know is that Roy is supposed to go to Mars so that he can send a message to his father asking what’s going on.

So, Roy goes to the moon, where he’s attacked by space pirates or something.  He makes it to where he’s supposed to be so that he can get to Mars.  Along the way, the crew of the ship has to stop for another ship in distress.  It turns out that’s a lost cause, so it’s on to Mars, where Roy sends several messages to his father.

I don’t want to go much further, on the off chance that you really want to see the movie.  I will warn you that it is boring.  (Go back and read the first paragraph with Ad Astra standing in for space.)  I spent a good chunk of the movie waiting for something to happen.  It’s one of those movies where you expect some major revelation, yet get something that’s not at all that major.  I suspect it was supposed to be a big revelation, but it wasn’t.

In fact, the only good thing that I can say is that it’s a good movie to watch in IMAX.  The visuals are great, but I think we’re past going to the movies to see pretty pictures of the planets.  I would have preferred a little more substance.  It’s almost like one of those paintings where the artist has a line and a dot.  You know it’s supposed to represent something, but what?  I think the detour to help the stranded ship was supposed to mean something.  I’m not sure if it was just there to liven things up.  Maybe make sure the audience was still awake.

In the end, the movie is like Roy’s pulse.  It never gets above a certain pace.  We might get one or two exciting scenes, but there’s no thrill because we can see it coming.  I’d tell you to see it in IMAX, but I’m not sure it would be worth the extra money.

IMDb page

Vice (2018)

My mother asked why someone would make a movie about a vice president.  That’s how seriously the job is taken.  I was trying to find a joke to lead off this review, but I think that’s the best lead I can find.

Then again, this is Richard Bruce Cheney we’re talking about.

He’s been called a lot of things.  I don’t imagine most of them were nice.

The movie’s timeline starts with him being pulled over for driving under the influence of alcohol.  That and a fight land him in jail, meaning that his wife, Lynne, has to bail him out.  She puts it to him to clean up his act.  He promises to do so, and does he.  This doesn’t get him back into Yale, but he does go into politics.

This leads to another turning point.  As an intern, he’s given the choice to work for a Democrat or a Republican.  After seeing Donald Rumsfeld speak, Cheney knows who he wants to intern with.   The two work well together, leading to more turning points and decisions.

The movie is said to be based on the true story, but I think the actual narrative falls somewhere between satire and sarcasm.  I got the impression that certain parts weren’t literally true.  (Take, for example, a claim that Cheney won the Iron Man competition.)  When his name is floated as a possible contender for president, he turns it down.  Part of it is that he doesn‘t want to expose his daughter to media attention because she‘s a lesbian.  It also doesn’t help that his odds of being elected put him two spots below Dan Quayle.

You do get the sense that Cheney is not a nice person.  The line goes that power corrupts, but Cheney may have been corrupt already.  He was just looking for the next opportunity.  When presented with the possibility of being vice president, Lynne won’t hear of it.  It’s a nothing job.

Sure, it might serve as a springboard to the presidency.  (From the 1980 election until 2008, either the sitting President or Vice President sought the office of President.)  Still, Vice President?  Instead of turning it down, Cheney looks into how he can make the job to his own liking.  It’s like Anakin Skywalker being trained in The Force.  It’s just a matter of time before he becomes Darth Vader.

I will say that the casting is spot on.  To see Cheney, you don’t even realize that it’s Christian Bale.  When you see George W. Bush, you’re not thinking of Sam Rockwell.  Sure, Steve Carell is a little obvious as Rumsfeld, but that’s actually forgivable.  (Having seen pictures of Runsfeld, I would say that Carell is a pretty awesome choice.)  Even having Jesse Plemons narrate the story was the way to go.

So many things come down to random events.  Imagine if Cheney hadn’t flunked out of Yale.  Suppose he hadn’t married Lynne.  What if Rumsfeld hadn’t spoken to the interns that day?  It would make for an interesting alternate-history story.

IMDb page