Sunday, January 06, 2019

Aquaman (2018)

I remember watching Heroes and thinking how awesome the superpowers were.  People could fly or read minds.  Everything was extremely useful.  No one had a really crappy superpower.  Some of them came close towards the end.  But, there was no one that had, say, the ability to press clothing as their power.  It’s like, “Great.  Hiro can travel through time and Claire can regenerate.  On the bright side, at least I never have to buy an iron.”

I kind of wonder if Aquaman started out as a conversation along those lines.  Don’t get me wrong.  Being able to talk to fish might be cool and all, but I think the novelty might wear off after a while.  I’d also never be able to enjoy salmon again.  I went into the movie wondering what the most recent take on the character would look like.

It looks a lot like National Treasure.  Think about it:  A man of important lineage has to go on a hunt for a special item/set of items while being chased by a bad guy.  If he gets the item, which we know he will, it will alter the course of events, presumably for the better.

That’s basically it.  If you’ve seen the coming attractions, you know the plotline.  Aquaman, a.k.a. Arthur Curry, was born to a land-dwelling father and a sea-dwelling queen.  He eventually has to reconcile his aquatic heritage by defeating his half-brother.  To do so, he must find a special trident.

Sure, there are some great fight scenes and the CGI was at least halfway decent.  (Although, there were a few shots that looked a little off to me.)  Still, it wasn’t a great movie.  It was almost like it was written by a brooding teenager.  The movie wants to be taken seriously, but anyone trying to take the movie seriously is like, “Nope.”

One thing that kept bothering me was Arthur’s trident.  What’s wrong with the trident?  It has five points.  Aren’t tridents, by definition, supposed to have three points?  Every time I saw it, it stood out.  I think it was supposed to look cool or something.

That was the thing. The movie seemed to be all show and spectacle.  There seemed to be very little substance.  The movie was an excuse to string together scenery, CGI and fight scenes.  It was enjoyable, but it was the least enjoyable of the superhero movies so far.  I’m kind of hoping that if Aquaman comes back to the big screen, it’s part of the Justice League.  It’s going to take a while to write a better standalone movie for him.

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