Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Vampire Sisters (2004)

If you ever want to find mediocre or bad movies, there are certain things you have to look for.  No one’s going to say that their movie is crappy.  Instead, you might look for a set of movies.  More movies usually means less quality per movie.  (Yes, $10 will get you 50 movies, but few of them will be worth the effort.)  The straight-to-video label is also a good indicator of low quality.  Movie theaters have to be selective about what they show.  Even made-for-TV indicates a certain standard.  I got Vampire Sisters as part of a six-pack of vampire movies, only to find out that it was also released direct-to-video.

The movie is about three sisters who run an adult site called  They just happen to be vampires that use the site to find unwitting victims.  Whenever they’re hungry, they find a local client or two and invite them for a special bonus.  That bonus is ostensibly a private show, but it soon turns into the sisters’ snack time.  The main story is nothing more than several people being invited to the sisters’ house.  Along the way, they attract the attention of Det. Sonny Renko, who is investigating the various missing persons.  When he links all of them to the site, he decides to go in undercover with Det. Jennifer Hunt.

You’re not going to have many surprises here.  The movie hits all of the vampire tropes, like commenting on garlic or having a Bible turn up.  It’s little more than soft-core porn.  (Yes, there is some nudity.)  The story is just a way of stringing together a few various encounters.  It seemed like it was the kind of thing that was meant to serve as a sampler.  (One guy liked pain.  One victim was a woman.  It’s the kind of thing that’s meant to attract a larger audience.)

The acting is also what you would expect.  Many of the actors have ben in a few other movies, although nothing I’d recognize.  The dialogue is so stilted that it’s as if they’re using the first or second take of each scene.  It’s just good enough that it might warrant a single rental.  I wouldn’t buy it, though.  It has low-budget written all over it.

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