Monday, October 17, 2005

The dating game

How does a guy get a date?

That’s one of those things that have always confused me. I know it happens because people go one to get married and at least some of those marriages have to have come from a first date. I was thinking about all of those dating and matchmaking sites and how I have yet to find one that works.

I haven’t tried many, but I find that sites tend not to do too much for me. The problem is that with the pay sites, the free version stinks. What usually happens is that I find a site, try the free version for a while and usually get a few promising leads. However, the free versions don’t make it easy to correspond with that many people at once, so I sign up. Once I’ve paid good money, what few conversations I’m having dry up. I go an entire month without really meeting anyone.

The big problem is actually getting started. Few people want to bother with someone who has a free account because they’re likely to be someone using a free account to get you to go to a pay site. (Even paid accounts might do this.) This is another motivating reason to pay. However, once paid, I still might not get a response.

I don’t know why that is. Probably it’s because I’m competing with hundreds of other guys doing the same thing and it’s very easy for us to come across as losers that try to hard. How do I try without making it look like I’m actually trying? If I make the first move, it could appear aggressive. However, if I wait, I run the risk of paying $20 for a month of nothing.

Dating is a lot like gambling. Everyone has a system and they all seem to be just a little off. I have yet to find a magic word or phrase that will get me a response. Right now, I’d be happy for that. I just want a chance, or at least the possibility of thinking I have a chance, at maybe meeting someone.

The question is, if I ever met a woman, would I know what to do with myself?

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