Rise of Nations for PC

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

For years, I’ve played Age of Empires. I won’t go into the details of Age of Empires here since this is a review of Rise of Nations except to say that the two games are very similar. If you have Age of Empires, you’re probably asking why you should buy this game. Is it really worth spending all of that money just to get a better game? Yes.

I want to warn you that this review is going to seem like it rambles. That’s because there’s so much information that I want to convey that it’s extremely difficult to organize. I’ve left out a few things and there are a lot of things that I’m still discovering about the game. The game itself is very easy to learn, especially if you’ve played other similar games.

Before I get into the technical details of why Rise of Nations is better that the others, it would help to explain what the game is. There are a variety of different games, but the basic idea is to take over a given map. (It’s sort of like the board game Risk.) There are tutorials, which have a slightly different spin and are designed to familiarize you with game play, but even then, you’re still working towards world domination. You get to choose from 18 different races. Each has it’s own advantage. Maybe you gather resources more quickly or you have a higher population limit. The attraction depends on how you like to play.

There are a variety of ways you can play, but I find that most people tend to stick to one type. I usually play what’s called a Quick Battle. It’s very similar to the multiplayer mode, which I play when I can. (That’s one of the advantages of having a home network.) There are various ways to win. You can have a strict conquest, which is where you try to eliminate enemies through war. You can also do it where you build wonders. I think you can even do it on a strict point basis. It’s up to you. (I’d recommend starting with a conquest until you get used to the game.) You can also choose the terrain type or have the computer choose a random variety. You can have it select from all of the map types or chose from the land maps, the water maps, etc. The computer will generate a random map based on what you want.

You start with one city, one library, one scout, a lumber mill, three farms, and several workers. From there, you build and expand. (Some races have bonuses that allow them to start with more, though.) With the library, you progress through ages. Farms are used for food and lumber mills, which have to be built near forests, are used for gathering wood. You have to build mines to gather metal and you have to build lumber camps to gather wood. These building set limits on how many units can gather each resource; if you want to gather more, you have to obtain more of these buildings. Each type of building has an auxiliary building. For instance, mines have smelting plants. The auxiliary buildings help out the workers by allowing them to gather resources more efficiently, sometimes doubling or even tripling output. One thing that you’ll like sometimes and hate at other times is the way idle workers will automatically go to work if there’s a vacant slot nearby. This is great if you want to create citizens and set them to work, but not if you want them to build things.

Also, there’s a display that shows you how many slots are available for each task. That helps, but there’s no easy way to tell where the available slots are. Every building has a hot key. For instance, X will rotate among the missile silos; C rotates between city centers; TAB rotates among buildings that have upgrades available. It would just be nice to have available workers go to any open slot regardless of proximity.

You can only build within your territory, which is marked by your color. (There’s a minimap that shows where you are.) If you’re near the border and you build something that expands your territory, there’s a border that actually moves. If you’re neighboring another nation, their border retreats accordingly. (Or advances when they build something.)

You have a limit on the number of towns you can build and there are other buildings, like farms and universities, which have limits based on the number of towns you have set up. (Usually, it’s five farms and one university per town.) Others, like oil rigs, have to be set up on certain spots. (When you go to set up an oil rig, you’re automatically taken to the nearest oil field. It took me a while to figure out what was going on.)

As you progress through the ages at the library, you’ll get access to better buildings and troops. Military research, for instance, is one of the ways to get certain types of new buildings. It also increases the population limit. Civic research allows for more cities to be built. With enough research, you can do all sorts of things. Around the sixth age, you gain the ability to develop nuclear weapons.

You can allow for anywhere up to 200 to be your maximum population, but some races will allow for more and you can even build wonders, which might increase the cap. (There are many ‘wonders’ including a pyramid, the Statue of Liberty and the Eiffel Tower. Unlike Age of Empires, the wonders in Rise of Nations do something. In some cases, they allow for limits to be bumped up. Others generate free units or expand borders.) As for the units, Rise of Nations is a little better than other games I’ve played.

There are other types of games. I don’t really have the patience for a lot of them, but it’s only fair to at least mention them. In some games, you can take over the world in a manner similar to Risk. You have to take over one country at a time until you control the world. There are also tutorials and, as I said, multiplayer. (The only option available for multiplayer is similar to the quick battle.) There are also scenarios similar to Warcraft. For single player, there’s one difficulty for all of your opponents; for multiplayer, you can have a different difficulty setting for each computerized opponent.

The ‘moderate’ setting seems to be where it starts to get challenging. Usually on the ‘easy’ setting, I can beat four opponents. (There’s also an ‘easiest’ setting.) I’d recommend playing a game on easy or easiest to get the feel of the game. Moderate will probably be too difficult for someone that’s still getting the feel of the game. I’ve been playing for a few weeks now and I’m still discovering things about it.

Using the sound is bearable, which is something I couldn’t say for Warcraft. The music was all right, but the repetitious nature of the monologue annoyed me. Most characters had no more than about three lines they said when you clicked on them, and there were a few that you clicked on a lot. “All right,” gets annoying after the 1,000th time. Rise of Nations did away with that, which is a big improvement.

What did get on my nerves were these dialogue boxes that kept popping up to announce major events, like someone advancing to the next age. I still haven’t figured out how to turn this off. Also, you can’t change your capital. (That gets fixed in the upgrade, but that’s for another review.)

The one thing that I absolutely want to warn you about is the amount of resources you’ll need on your computer. I have a relatively new Dell Dimension 2400. It has a 74.4 GB hard drive, a 2.4 GHz Pentium? 4 processor and 256 MB of RAM. The game stalls quite a bit. When I play multiplayer over a LAN, it’s usually my computer that’s the weakest link. I put SETI@home so that it’s not always processing, but that doesn’t usually help much. My brother’s computer seems to be able to handle it. If you have a really good computer, go for it IF not, wait to upgrade. I’m looking into doubling my RAM.

$15 iTunes Gift Card

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

In my never-ending quest to review stuff that a normal person would think unreviewable, I came across the iTunes $15 silhouette gift card.  You're probably thinking that there's not much to write about a gift card.  It's a good thing that I'm not normal.

The iTunes gift card is like many other gift cards.  You buy one of these at a store, such as The Apple Store or Walgreens.  The card is activated when you pay $15 and the cashier completes the transaction.  (I've also seen it where you can get one free when buying several other cards or when you buy something else, like an iPod.)

Once activated, you open iTunes and click on the ‘redeem' button on the main page.  There's an area that you scratch, much like a lottery ticket, that reveals a PIN.  This is what you enter into iTunes.  (This prevents someone else writing down the code and waiting for you to purchase the card.)   Your account is thus credited $15 to use on music, apps or anything else iTunes has to offer.

If I recall, you need some form of payment, such as a credit card or PayPal account, to sign up for iTunes.  If this is true, you may be asking why you'd want to use a gift card.  Not everyone that has a credit card wants to use it.  Some people prefer to use cash.  There are also cases where someone may want to give an iTunes gift card to someone else, but don't have an account of their own.

You have to be careful because there are several different variations on this gift card.  All are fine, since they all work the same way.  The difference is how they're packaged.  The ones that you get at the Apple Store come with a cardboard-like backing.  Others are larger and have a top part that you can break off.  Others are the larger size, but don't have a top part that can be broken off.

With the first two forms, you can remove the unnecessary part and put the working part of gift card in your wallet.  With the third form, you have to hold on to the whole thing.  Also, if you buy the card at the Apple Store, you can get a fitted envelope if you plan to give the card to someone.

The only downside to using the gift card versus a credit card directly through iTunes is that the gift cards come in whole dollar amounts.  ($15, $25, $50 or $100.)  The music is not often sold in whole dollar amounts, so you'll always have a little bit left over.  This isn't a problem; if you want to purchase something that costs more than what you have left, the remainder will be billed to whatever form of payment you have on file.

I should warn you to check your receipt before leaving the store where you bought the card.  I once bought a card from a gas station and the person ringing me up didn't enter it properly.  When I got home, I found that the card didn't work; he had rung it up under a generic code.  Fortunately, the gas station took it back, but I've heard of people that work at airports pretending to ring up a card, but keeping the money instead.

Except for the once instance, the card has always worked.  It's definitely worth looking in to. 

Flight (2012)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

I had wanted to see Flight in theaters.  It looked like an interesting premise.  A pilot played by Denzel Washington is able to safely land a plane, but catches flak for it.  I was interested to see how this played out.  I figured most of the movie would be about the aftermath, which it was.  I eventually got to rent the movie through Redbox.

The pilot’s name is Will “Whip” Whitaker.  He’s piloting an Orlando-to-Atlanta flight.  He manages to take off during heavy rain.  He’s able to skillfully land the plane when a mechanical failure occurs. He’s also drunk and stoned out of his mind the whole time.  Of the 108 people onboard the plane, only six die.  He managed, while impaired, to pull off what most people couldn’t even attempt sober.

That’s not the point, though.  He never should have been on that plane.  We know it. His lawyer and friends know it.  Whittaker even throws out all of his alcohol, but the message doesn’t seem to take.  He has no problem placing blame on a defective part.  (I suppose if I were facing the possibility of six felony counts, I would do the same.)

Most of the movie is spent preparing for an NTSB hearing.  This makes giving a detailed analysis difficult.  There’s a lot of legal maneuvering and a lot of trying to keep Whittaker sober.  This isn’t easy.  At the start of the movie, he finishes a warm beer and snorts a line.  While talking to passengers before takeoff, he makes a family-sized screwdriver.  (Before you leave a comment, he actually pours several mini vodkas into a large container of orange juice.)

Normally, I hate movies like this.  It’s painful to watch someone on a downward spiral.  The movie isn’t heavy handed about the alcoholism, though.  Yes, he makes a lot of bad choices.  Yes, every time he blames the mechanical failure, I know that he knows that he shouldn’t have been in the plane.  On the other hand, I found myself hoping that he’d avoid trouble.  He’s as functional as they come, but he had no business endangering over 100 people.  Here’s someone that should have gone to AA a long time ago, but has always found a reason not to.  (There was one point in the movie that I felt was a little painful to watch, but I can understand why it was included.)

This is not a movie for children.  Aside from the drugs and sex, there are a lot of things that young children wouldn’t understand.  They may not get the subtleties of the maneuvering.  They may not understand why or how Whittaker could come across as someone we could empathize with.  I think if I had seen this movie when I was 10 or 15, I would have had a totally different take on it.  I would have seen Whittaker simply as a drunk who happened to get lucky.  Which he is, in a way.  He’s a man who knows that he’s wrong, but can’t quite come to terms with his demons. 

IMDb page

The Forgotten (2004)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

Like some of the other reviewers on Epinions, I had such high hopes for The Forgotten. What I got from the trailers was that a mother finds out that her son never existed and that she’s the only one that remembers him. She goes on a wild chase to find out what happened. If you’ve seen the trailers, you’re going to feel betrayed, or at least grossly misled.

The mother is Telly Paretta, who’s married to Jim. The two had a son, Sam, who died in a plane crash 14 months prior to the time frame of the movie. He’s gotten over it, but she hasn’t. She goes into his room and looks through pictures and handles things of his, such as a baseball cap and glove. She’s seeing a psychiatrist and is making progress. That is until one day, all solid evidence of Sam disappears. Videotapes are erased. Sam disappears from pictures or the pictures disappear altogether. Telly is the only one that remembers her son. According to Jim and the psychiatrist, she had a miscarriage. Telly is certain that she didn’t make up 9 years of her life.

It looks at first like Telly is having a mental breakdown. You may have heard of Occam’s Razor, which states that usually, the simplest explanation is usually the right one. Is she be delusional or could someone have changed or disposed of all of her pictures, erased the tapes and ‘gotten to’ everyone that knew Sam except for Telly? If so, why?

She eventually meets up with Ash, the father of Lauren. Lauren was one of Sam’s friends; they died in the same crash. The funny thing is that Ash doesn’t remember being a father and he certainly doesn’t remember Sam and Telly. Telly is able to get him to remember Lauren and the two go off together in search of answers. Along the way, they’re pursued by local police, the Feds, the psychiatrist and Jim.

That’s when it gets strange. We’re talking X-Files and Unbreakable strange. The problem is that we don’t get the same resolution we get with Unbreakable. In The Sixth Sense, there was this Earth-shattering, mind-warping twist that no one could see coming. It was similar for Unbreakable. With The Forgotten, I could very often tell what was coming next. The end left me wondering how much of it was delusion and how much was real, but that was because the movie spent very little time on the ending.

The advantage that the X-Files had was that it was a long-running series. That lack of resolution for many of the episodes played into the character of the series. That doesn’t happen here. I wanted more answers. I can’t really give you too many of the questions without giving away the movie, but I can give you a few examples. On is the psychiatrist. He knows more than he’s letting on. However, he says things to characters other than Telly that make you wonder. It’s also revealed who’s behind all of this, although they’re never actually shown nor is it explained why they were willing to go through so much effort.

The acting and direction are good. However, the writers could have done so much more with the premise and the story. I could see the movie being the basis for a TV series or a few other movies. At 90-something minutes, they could have at least added more footage. It’s not like they didn’t have the extra time.

In the end, the movie left too many loose ends and ultimately required too many leaps of faith. I can’t give this movie more than three stars. It’s entertaining, but not really satisfying. I didn’t come away from the movie feeling like it was worth the position in my NetFlix queue. 

IMDb page

Vampires: The Turning (2005)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

I recently got digital cable. With digital cable came On Demand. One of the great things of On Demand is that they have a selection of free movies. Some of the free selections are pretty good, depending on your taste in movies. I’ve found that most aren’t particularly memorable. Take, for example, Vampires: The Turning. I took a look at the description and saw to things: Vampires and Thailand. So, I’m thinking hot Asian vampires. It turned out that there was only one female vampire and, while she was pretty hot, that alone wasn’t enough to make up for the rest of the movie.

The story begins with two American tourists, Connor and Amanda, watching a fight. He’s way more interested in it than she is, mostly because he studied the form of martial arts that they’re using. She walks out and gets lost in a crowd. He follows her, but can’t find her. It’s not long before a stranger finds the lost woman and ‘offers’ to help her back to her hotel. Turns out he’s a vampire and Connor arrives just in time to see Amanda as an unconscious passenger on his bike.

One of the guy’s cronies tries to kill Connor, but a mysterious man slays the vampire crony and warns Connor to go home. Don’t bother trying to rescue Amanda, as she’s as good as dead. Don’t go to the police, either, since they won’t do anything. Oh, and if Connor follows the mystery man, he’s as good as dead too. So, what does Connor do? Of course, he follows the guy and then goes to the police. Once the police officer hears what Connor has to say, he tells Connor to wait 48 hours before filing a missing persons report.

Connor goes back to the mystery guy’s place tog find a whole hive of vampires, led by the aforementioned hot Asian vampire. Rather that cower in fear, he teams up with them to get his girlfriend back. There’s a possibility that she’s still alive and if she’s still alive, there’s a possibility of getting her back, even if she’s turned.

It all stems from Sang, the female vampire. 800 years ago, she bit someone in rage and that person turned, or became a vampire. From that one bite, all of the evil vampires (and good ones, too) descended. The original bite was during a special eclipse, which apparently means that if she exposes herself to the same eclipse, she dies and all the remaining vampires go back to being mortal again. Connor gets the idea to become a vampire so he has a decent chance of kicking some vampire butt. If he’s successful, he’ll become mortal again. With an attitude like that, how can you lose?

If you’re like me and like vampire movies, I wouldn’t recommend paying money to see it. Free was just about the right price. Most of the movie was about the fighting. The script was pretty bad, there was no real suspense and the acting was just above par, assuming you’re not expecting too much.

Aside from the fighting, the only reason to watch vampire movies is the women. There is something very erotic about watching a women get bitten and/or turn. As I said, there was one who was very attractive, but she was already a vampire. The other wasn’t as attractive, but I did enjoy seeing her get bitten.

Supposedly, this was the third in a series, but the movie didn’t seem like a sequel. It seemed like a self-contained story and I didn’t get any sense that I was supposed to know something. I might see if I can get the other two movies for free and see if they make sense in the context of this movie. From what I’ve read and heard, this is simply the third movie to use Vampires as the main title.

This movie is two-star material, and I only say that because I do like vampire movies. It was only 84 minutes, which wasn’t too bad. It didn’t drag at all. If you happen to get this movie free on demand, go for it. If not, don’t bother looking for it in the video rental place. 

IMDb page

Final Destination (2000)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

I had originally planned to see this movie when it first came out, but when I got to the theater, I found out that the listings in the paper were wrong and the movie had been playing for a little while. I didn’t get around to watching the movie until recently, when I rented the movie from NetFlix.

It’s an interesting premise. Devon Sawa plays Alex, a student on his way to France with a class trip. Somehow, he’s allowed to see the plane crashing. He and several other people (including two teachers) leave the plane. One teacher gets back on while the other stays with the six students, agreeing to catch the next plane out. As they’re arguing about what went on, the plane actually blows up, as per Alex’s vision.

Understandably, Alex gets the attention of the FBI, but since there’s no real evidence that Alex did anything, they have to let him go. Of the other six people that he saved, very few seem to be appreciative. The teacher is flat out scared of him now. A friend of his wants to remain friends, but has parents that aren’t as understanding. That’s a heck of a way to treat someone who saved your life.

Over a month goes by without incident. Then, the seven people start dying. Is there some sort of master plan? Alex seems to think so. He notices certain coincidences, such as the fact that the people are dying in the order that they would have had they stayed on the plane. Then again, it’s possible that he’s reading too much into it.

It wasn’t a great movie, but I wouldn’t recommend avoiding it, either. It’s just one of those movies where there are a lot of questions. For instance, why allow Alex to see Death’s plan? Once that happened, why wait over a month to start killing the people? Are we to believe that Death was bored? The thing is that before the other survivors are killed, Alex is given new premonitions, meaning that he’s being given the chance to save them again.

The movie was a little slow to start, but I eventually got into it. I was actually debating whether or not to just send it back without watching it. I can’t say that it’s my favorite movie, but it was worth watching. I have to admit that Tony Todd was perfectly cast as the mortician. Also, I noticed that Devon Sawa bears some resemblance to Anthony Michael Hall of The Dead Zone, another show where premonitions play a big part. (Any resemblance is purely coincidental since the TV series had yet to premiere when this movie was released.)

The movie is worth three and a half stars, but I’m rounding up, mostly because it was just an interesting movie. If you’re looking for something to watch and not really think about too much, this is your movie. If you’re looking for something with a little more substance, you might want to look elsewhere. I’m actually debating over whether or not to get the sequel. 

IMDb page

Hail, Caesar! (2016)

It seems like there’s always some major celebrity event going on.  There are divorces, arrests, tyrades, feuds and all manner of other things to fill the magazines and tabloids.  This isn’t to say that all of it is true, but there is the ever present celebrity gossip/news.   Growing up, I asked my mother why it seemed like stars from her childhood didn’t seem to have any scandals.  Did celebrities not have affairs when she was my age?  Did they simply not make it into the history books?  The truth was that studios had people like Eddie Mannix.

Eddie Mannix is head of physical production for Capitol Studios.  He deals primarily with damage control.  The movie is set in 1951 and Capitol is making a movie called Hail, Caesar of all things.  Hail, Caesar stars Baird Whitlock, played by George Clooney.  Whitlock isn’t that bright.  He can act alright, but he manages to get himself kidnapped very easily by a group of Communists calling themselves The Future.

When Whitlock wakes up, he starts to hang out with The Future not realizing that they’re asking for $100,000 in ransom.  Mannix not only has to deal with the ransom demand, but he has to contend with competing gossip columnists Thora and Thessaly Thacker.  (It doesn’t help that they’re twins.)  Add to this a pregnant actress who doesn’t seem to be in any rush to marry the father.  His solution is to have her put the child into foster care so that she can adopt the child without public finding out she‘s the mother.  Oh, and there’s the Western star, Hobie Doyle, who’s forced by the studio to star in a period piece.   Doyle has no business being in a period piece and everyone knows it, but it’s what the studio wants.  This makes an offer from Lockheed very appealing, as he’d be done with all of the stress.

I was able to watch the movie on a flight back to Miami a few weeks ago.  I kind of wish that my parents had watched it, as well, because I suspect that a lot of the context is lost on me.  Apparently, there was an actual Eddie Mannix who worked for MGM.  It appears that the similarities are tenuous, but most of the characters do seem to have real-life counterparts.  The real Mannix did try to cover up a pregnancy of an actual star.  Many of the problems that he had to deal with actually did happen to someone, at least on a superficial level.

A good deal of the context was lost on me, as I grew up in the 1980s.  This isn’t to say the movie can’t be enjoyed by younger audiences.  It’s just that I don’t think Westerns have ever been really big in my lifetime, at least in the sense that they were big for my parents when they were growing up.  There are many one-off scenes that mirror actual scenes in movies or pay tribute to a particular style of film.  I don’t think there are any similar styles in production today.

I wish I had someone to discuss this with, particularly someone who knows more about that era.  I don’t know how much was lost on me, exactly, or how it would have affected watching the movie had I known more.  The movie was still entertaining to me.  It was fun watching Josh Brolin and George Clooney play their respective roles.  I also caught a few cameos from actors like Jonah Hill and Robert Picardo.  (I know.  I can’t help but point out Trek actors in non-Trek roles.)    The fact that it was set in 1951 didn’t bother me at all.  I do wonder, though, what the present day will look like in movies sixty years from now.

IMDb page

Meatball Machine (2005)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

Every so often, Epinions has a promotion with first reviews.  Every so often, I feel the need to watch a movie few others can sit through.  What do you get when you put these two things together?  You get a review for Meatball Machine.  The movie is 93 minutes long.  Ten minutes in, I thought of shutting it off.  Twenty minutes in, I couldn’t believe that I still had an hour to go.  After that, it started to pick up, but that’s not saying much.

The movie starts with someone hunting down aliens to kill them.  Not much is explained about who he is or why he’s doing this.  He is, however, dragging his daughter along for the ride.  We also have Yoji, a factory worker who doesn’t seem to hang out much with his boss and coworkers.  He does like to sit and sneak peeks of Sachiko, a woman who works next door.   After work one day, his neighbor walks in on him while he‘s practicing a little self love.

The action begins maybe ten minutes later when Yoji is visiting an adult theater.  Someone sits down next to him.  We soon realize that this someone is a transvestite.  Yoji keeps rejecting his advances until he has to walk out of the theater to get away.  The transvestite takes offense and beats the crap out of Yoji.  While Yoji is recovering, something drips on him.  He looks up to find an alien, which he takes home so he can study it further.

As he’s walking home from a prostitute his roommate hired for him, he finds someone trying to rape a woman.  Turns out that the woman is Sachiko and the man is his boss.  He tries to fight his boss, but once again gets the crap beaten out of him.  The boss walks away, leaving Sachiko to walk Yoji home.  Bare in mind that this is all within the first half hour of the movie.  We still have an hour to go.

When they get back to his place, Sachiko and Yoji admit that they’ve both been checking each other out.  He starts to undress her, but she reveals that she has a scar on her chest and that her father put it there.  As she’s recounting this, the lights start to flicker and the alien comes to life and attaches itself to her.  Once again, Yoji gets the crap beaten out of him.  When the neighbor walks in on them, Sachiko kills him violently.

When Yoji wakes up, he finds himself in a strange apartment.  The guy from the beginning is there with his daughter.  His daughter has one of the aliens on her neck.  The father explains that the aliens are parasites that use a host body to fight.  The winner literally eats the loser.  He explains about how the parasite can make the host feel all the pain and can even use the host’s memories.  How he knows this, I’m not sure.

The important thing here is that he’s breeding the things.  He infects Yoji with one so that the parasite will grow to maturity.  The father has been feeding the things to his daughter so that he can keep her alive.  Yoji is able to keep the parasite from taking full control, but still ends up killing the father.  He walks out in search of Sachiko, leaving the daughter alone.

What follows is about an hour of the weirdest fight scenes you’ve ever seen.  The parasites have the ability to ‘mutate organs’ into whatever they want, as the father put it.  Yoji ends up with an ‘enhanced’ hand covered in what looks like Styrofoam.  I should warn you that this is in no way a movie for children.  It’s not even a movie meant for most adults.

In one scene early on, a young boy is attacked and taken over by one of the aliens.  The boy is then hit and brutally killed by a car.  The car’s driver is then taken over by the alien.  You don’t see the actual impact, but you see a hand and part of the arm hit the ground as well as the shoes with feet and parts of the legs still in them.  In the scene where Sachiko is being taken over, the alien has a tentacle essentially rape her.  Again, you don’t see the actual penetration, but we get the moaning to let us know exactly what’s happening.

This is probably on par with the worst movies I’ve seen, at least in terms of production values.  We’re talking Abraxis: Guardian of the Universe/Future War bad.  The movie looks like it was shot on a home camcorder.  The acting was at least decent.  The actors are listed in other movies on IMDb, but not having seen many of the movies, I can’t say how good they are.  (Interestingly, Issei Takahashi, who played Yoji, was in the Japanese cast of Whisper of the Heart and Kill Bill, Volumes 1 and 2, all of which I liked.)

This is one of those cases where it’s hard to say where the movie went wrong.  More money probably would have helped the production values.  However, as with Abraxis, big names and some money aren’t necessarily the answer.  It’s possible to have the best talent, the best story and heaps of money and still not come out with a  good product.  At least with this movie, there is potential.  Clean up the writing a little and get a decent camera and you could have something.

Most of it is that the first twenty minutes are so hard to watch.  I think a lot of people watching this movie will shut it off before it gets interesting.  For those that make it, you do get hooked and keep watching.  By the time you get to the scene where Yoji is taken over, I actually wanted to see how it ended.  On that note, I spent the entire movie wondering where Meatball Machine came from.  (Having seen the ending, I’m still wondering.)

This is one of those movies I’m not sure if I can recommend.  I’m not giving it many stars, but that’s not to say it’s not worth watching.  I don’t know that I can recommend paying money for the movie unless you’re really in to bad movies.  I was able to watch this through Netflix’s Web site, which means that I didn’t have to wait for it to come in the mail or pay anything extra for it.  In fact, the only reason I found this movie was that I was looking through Netflix’s selection of movies I could stream to find something that hadn’t been reviewed on Epinions yet.  (I have two other selections bookmarked.)

If it comes on a movie channel (not a broadcast network) and you can watch it uncensored, go for it.  I think if they removed the adult aspect of it, it would take too much away from the movie.  Just make sure the kids aren’t around. 

AT&T ATT-982 2 Lines Corded Phone

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

Last year, it came time to replace the four phones we had at work. We had five lines, but the decision was made to go down to two lines. (It was pretty rare that a third line was ever used unless several people were calling out.) When we got the phones, we set them up pretty easily. I have to say that I haven’t really thought much about them since, and I mean that in a good way.

Knowing that I was possibly going to review these phones, I took it upon myself to learn as much as possible about them. Yes, I know. It’s a phone. How much could I learn from the manual? One of the few things that I did learn was that you need to pay for two lines to be able to use the two-line functionality. (The phone won’t split one line into two.)

The phone has a 24-number speed-dial memory capacity. I decided to program the phone myself, starting with my cell phone and the cell phones of several other employees and several other stores in the area. (Before you accuse me of being egocentric, I needed a way to test my ability without bothering anyone else.)

The speed dial uses 13 buttons. Twelve are assigned two numbers each; the thirteenth is used to select the lower of the two numbers. For instance, if you want the first number, you press the first speed-dial button. (For the second number, you press the thirteenth button, and then the first speed-dial button.) Having read the manual, I knew how to do this. However, it’s not always apparent to someone who hasn’t read it. Most of my coworkers don’t bother using it, especially considering that they already have many of the important phone numbers memorized.

The phone even comes with a piece of paper that you can put on the button area of the phone to label the different buttons, which is pretty common. However, we only got one per phone. I don’t know what you’re supposed to do if you have to reprogram the phone more than three times. Also, they’re not adhesive; we had to tape one of them to the phone because it kept falling off.

Now that I’ve spent three paragraphs on the speed dial, let’s go back to the two-line functionality. One of the things I like about the phone is that each line has a different pitch. If a call is coming in on Line 1, you get a lower pitch than if it’s coming in on Line 2. You wouldn’t think that this is useful, but it is. It makes it easier to tell if the first line is in use. (Since both lines have a separate phone number, it is possible that Line 2 might ring first, but it’s pretty rare.)

Each line gets its own button, letting you select that line. Above each button are two LED lights. One is green and flashes if someone is calling. The other is red and lets you know if that line is engaged. If you put a call on hold, the phone that put that call on hold will have a blinking red light for that line. (All of the other phones will still have the solid red light.)

The only other feature that I want to mention is the speakerphone. It’s useable, but it’s not great. We’ve used it a few times and have had to shout into it to get the other person to hear us, even though we could hear them fine. It’s best for when you have to call out or are put on hold for a long time.

This is a four-star phone. It’s not incredible, but it does get the job done. We haven’t had any major problems with it, unlike the phones that they replaced. Ultimately, it’s a phone. You need something that’s not going to drop your calls or give you too much static. As long as it works, everyone is happy. There are several other features, such as a data port and a place to plug a head set in, but we don’t really use these. I also recommend hanging on to the instruction manual. As easy as everything is, you may need a reference later.

Synchronicity (2015)

You can go a lot of different ways with time-travel stories.  You can have something complicated, like Primer.  Primer has so many timelines and days redone that it gets difficult to keep track of.  Then, you have some stories that are just one timeline.  Predestination is a story that’s told out of order and it’s up to the audience to figure out what it’s all about.  Similarly, Timecrimes is a story that’s retold several times, giving us more information as we go along.

Synchronicity seems to strive for a balance between the two.  It starts with a time-travel experiment that’s trying to get funding   Jim, Chuck and Matt are the scientists.  Klaus Meisner is the only potential source of an expensive material they need.  If the scientists can open a wormhole and  a signal comes through the wormhole, Meisner will know that it worked, thus providing the material that will eventually produce the other side of the wormhole and the  signal.  (Yes, it’s a bootstrap paradox at its simplest.)

Oh, I should also mention that things go sideways when physical objects come through the wormhole.  It proves that it’s viable, but what does it mean that someone seems to have come through and a plant mysteriously appeared in the lab?  The other end of the wormhole won’t be opened for a few days, giving everyone a chance to go crazy.

The conflict comes in that the scientists are interested in contributing to humanity’s scientific understanding while Meisner is interested in furthering the advancement of his bank account.  Meisner is apathetic towards most other aspects of the project.  Jim just wants to know what actually happened.  This leads Jim to make some questionable decisions, like potentially giving up his company.  It doesn’t help that Jim is having strange headaches.  Add to this Abby, a rather attractive woman that may be a little too involved in what‘s going on.  It’s enough to make someone paranoid.

This isn’t a light and fluffy movie.  The movie’s not overly heavy on sex and other adult themes, but I don’t think it’s a movie for children.  There are things that children either would miss entirely or possibly get a little freaked out over.  Those that have seen Blade Runner will probably see similarities in the aesthetics.  The director seems to have borrowed heavily from Blade Runner’s overall mood and/or soundtrack.

It’s also the kind of movie that might be too complicated for some.  I hate saying that you have to pay attention, as it sometimes feels like I’m saying you have to be smart.  However, it’s usually more in the sense that you really can’t be doing something else at the time.  There are all sorts of clues as to what’s going on that might be missed if you’re distracted.  As they say, the devil is in the detail.

IMDb page

Cosmopolitan Magazine

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.



One day, I received a Cosmopolitan magazine in the mail.  This concerned me primarily because I didn’t order a subscription.  I was worried that someone was pulling a prank by subscribing me to as many magazines as they could get the card for, but I couldn’t think of anyone that I could have offended that badly.  I had thought that maybe it was something through work, but my supervisor didn’t know anything about free subscriptions.

This left me with the question of how, so I posted what had happened to Facebook.  As near as anyone can tell, Hearst must have gotten my name and address and given me a free subscription.  Apparently, postage is so cheap that it doesn’t take many subscriptions to make their money back.  As an adult male, I’m not really in their target demographic.  I’m thinking that they may have gotten my address from CVS, since my mother uses my loyalty card to buy cosmetics there.  Either way, I was able to go online and verify that the subscription had been paid for until December.

As long as I didn’t get a bill, I wasn’t going to complain.  I had always wondered what was in Cosmo.  You’ve probably seen the headlines:  “212 Things Guys Don’t Know They Should Tell You In Bed” or “689 Things Guys are Thinking About When They‘re Not With You”.  Was the information really that useful?  In a word, No.  (Well, not to me at least.)

I actually looked through a few of the magazines.  Many of the articles seem to be about image and/or sex.  One article had advice on applying makeup.  One section was called “The Total Sex Bomb” while another was “The Faux Natural”.  Really?  This is what women are trying to go for these days?  Why not just call it “The Total Slut”?

There’s a quote from Jean-Paul Sartre, “Hell is other people.”  Having worked in retail, I initially assumed that it meant that hell was having to deal with other people, but from what I’ve read, it has more to do with how we think other people perceive us.  Cosmo seems to feed into that.  I would actually be more likely to date a woman who realizes that she doesn’t need a magazine like Cosmo and has the confidence to be herself.

Yes, image is important, but you don’t need an entire magazine devoted to it.  Consider that there was an article in one issue (I don’t know if it’s a recurring column” on how to deal with unsolicited advice, like family members that criticize your lipstick or parents that think you should tan more.  There’s another article on make-up sex.

Mostly, the magazine is advertising, which should come as no surprise.  Most of the ads deal with image and/or sex.  The fact that you can get a perfume-free subscription should tell you something.  If you’re still wondering how bad it is, you can go to their website and see some articles.

Kiss of the Damned (2012)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.


I’ve always liked fangs on a woman.  Make a vampire movie, put a couple of attractive women on the cover and I’ll probably watch it.  If Netflix has it streaming, as in the case with Kiss of the Damned, I’ll almost certainly get around to it.

The movie starts out with a man (Paolo) and a woman (Djuna) meeting each other.  He’s attracted to her and she seems to like him, but she has a secret.  It’s a condition that prevents her from going out in daylight, which is why she has to rent movies at night.  Ok.  Her ‘condition’ is that she’s a vampire.  She’s hesitant to get involved with him, but relents.  He’s kind of persistent.  Even after she bits him, he has to come back.  She eventually turns him.

Djuna tells Paolo that, aside from sunlight, fire and beheading don’t end well for vampires.  This means that they have to stay indoors and be careful what they do, as vampires don’t really want to draw attention to themselves.  The bad news is that Djuna has a sister, Mimi.  Mimi doesn’t seem to care as much for the rules.  She’ll kill indiscriminately.  Paolo tries to get along with Mimi, but comes to realize why Djuna isn’t happy about having to spend a week with her.

The local vampire community welcomes Paolo.  It’s led by Xenia, who’s an actress.  She makes sure everyone has a place to stay and handles problems.  She’s hesitant to do anything about Mimi, though, as there’s direct no proof that she’s a danger.  She is, though.  Whenever a human comes near her, we know it’s not going to end well for the human.

Mimi is the ultimate corruptor.  She tempts Xenia.  She seduces Paolo.  She will kill any human that gets within three feet of her and has no regard for the vampire community.  She is not a sympathetic character.  If anything, you identify more with Djuna, who has to put up with her for a week.  I’ve come to realize why some antagonists get away with what they do.  Even when you have a character as bad as Mimi, it’s not always satisfying to see them meet their end.  In this case, not so much.  You do cheer a little to see Mimi hurt.

On that note, this is not a movie for children.  There is a lot of sex, nudity, violence and gore.  I don’t think this would be appropriate for younger audiences.  Paolo is turned early in the movie.  He and Djuna feed on animals.  After all, this is an R-rated vampire movie.  You have to expect something that you wouldn’t want your kids watching.

If you have Netflix streaming, look into watching this.  It’s even worth renting on DVD.  Just don’t let the kids watch it. 

IMDb page

Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

There are some movies that I would never consider getting in a million years. Kingdom of Heaven is one such movie. However, my mother rented it one night figuring that I might like it. I figured that at the very least, I’d get a review out of it, so here it is.

The movie starts out with Orlando Bloom as Balian. He’s a blacksmith in a town that doesn’t really seem to care much for him, but he makes a living. At the very beginning of the movie, we see his wife being buried after committing suicide after the death of their child. As she’s being buried, a group of warriors is coming into town. Balian’s father, Godfrey of Ibelin, is the leader of this group. (Godfrey is played by Liam Neeson.)

Godfrey tells Balian who he is and offers him the opportunity to come to Jerusalem. Balian initially refuses, but reconsiders after killing the local priest. He figures that Jerusalem is a holy city (actually, the holy city) and would make a great place for a new start. Unfortunately, he inherits a whole new bunch of problems.

Balian is actually put in charge of the city’s defense when it comes under attack from a Muslim army, which vastly outnumbers his troops. To boot, what forces Balian does have has very little training and Balian has pretty much no command experience. Still, he manages to do pretty well. I won’t say how well for fear of spoiling the movie for you.

The only real problem that I had with this movie is that it was hard to form any attachment to it. There weren’t really any characters that I loved or hated. Sure, I liked many of the characters. But Balian wasn’t a great character. He was just someone who happened to be in the wrong place at the right time. (Or is that the right place at the wrong time?)

Then, you’ve got the leader of the Muslim army, Saladin. Yeah, he’s supposed to be the antagonist, but I can’t really bring myself to call him the bad guy. He does have legitimate reasons for being upset.

There also weren’t any major events. Most movies have some sort of suspenseful battle or major turning points. This was just a series of choices and/or random events that let to Balian’s being put into power. All Balian wanted was a new life. Lily Tomlin was once quoted as saying, “When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have

been more specific.” That’s the story of Balian’s journey through the movie.

Mostly for that reason, I have to give the movie three stars. The movie starts off pretty good, but doesn’t really go anywhere, specifically. It’s a nice movie if it comes on TV, but I wouldn’t bother to pay money to rent it.

IMDb page

Dragon Hunters (2008)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.


Every so often, I like to watch movies.  I have a preference for animated movies.  When I saw Dragon Hunters, I thought it was How to Train Your Dragon and recorded it.  It wasn’t until months later, when I wanted to watch the movie, that I realized my mistake.  This doesn’t mean that I was disappointed.  (I’ll just have to keep scanning the various Encore movie channels and hope that How to Train Your Dragon comes on.)

Dragon Hunters was released in 2008 and, like How to Train Your Dragon, is animated.  As you might expect, it’s not about hunting dragons.  Instead, it’s about Lian-Chu, who hunts dragons, and Gwizdo, who tends to handle things like getting paid for dispatching dragons.  Along for the ride Hector, a little dog-like thing that can make fire come from something other than his mouth.

Now, when the movie says dragons, it apparently means a wide variety of creatures.  The movie starts with Lian-Chu fighting something that looks more like a giant caterpillar.  It takes him a while, but he is able to kill the creature.  When Gwizdo tries to collect payment, their clients try to back out.  It isn’t until Hector does his thing that they run away in fear.  Alas, poor Lian-Chu isn’t taken seriously enough.

As luck would have it, though, they happen upon Lord Arthur, who’s predicting the return of the World Gobbler.  He’s willing to pay a large amount of gold if they can get the job done.  Gwizdo is even able to secure an advance, which he intends to just take while disregarding their mission.  Lian-Chu, on the other hand, wants to fight the dragon.  He has dreams of living on a farm one day and the reward would go a long way to helping.  The only complication is Zoe, the Lord’s niece.  She idolizes a fictional dragon hunter and hopes to become one some day.

The movie is 80 minutes and most of that is their journey from the castle to the end of the world, where the World Gobbler is doing his thing.  What the movie lacks in plot, it makes up for in great animation.  This is one of the few movies where I think it might be worth it to see it on a better TV set.  I’m sorry that I didn’t see this in theaters.

I don’t think that this movie will win a lot of fans for animated movies.  It’s set in a medieval-looking world with some very interesting physics.  There are islands that float in the air, where people can hop on and go for a ride.  They range from small islands, big enough for a few people, to very large islands, containing parts of castles.  There are even spheroid islands that have their own gravity pointing towards the center.  (People and other objects seem to be of normal weight.)

One big complaint I’ve seen is a lack of plot, which I can’t argue with.  There are maybe a dozen or so people shown throughout the entire movie.  It was also a little confusing at times.  It might make more sense on a second viewing.  I think most of the problem is that it’s based on a TV series and may have been condensed quite a bit.  I’d like to look into renting the TV series, partly to see if this is true, but mostly because I liked the movie that much.

For the most part, it’s relatively kid-friendly.  The only thing I could see being scary is the World Gobbler, which is a giant undead dragon.  The scene is only a few minutes long, but small children may have issues.  It should be safe for teenagers and above, though.

As for the rest of the characters, they tend to have an exaggerated look.  If you can see the cover art, you should get a good idea of what I mean.  Lian-Chu is very big and top-heavy.  Hector is very hyperactive and bounces around a lot.  For those that like animation, I’d definitely recommend this movie.  For those that aren’t, all I can say is to go in with an open mind. 

IMDb page

Pee-wee's Big Holiday (2016)

It seems that history repeats itself.  That seems to be the case with movies these days.  There’s a new cycle of rebooted Star Trek movies.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are getting new movies.  There’s even a new Ghostbusters movie.  Netflix decided to get into the game with a new Pee-Wee Herman movie.  Yes, that Pee-Wee Herman, the childlike alter ego of Paul Reubens that started as a stage act in the early 1980s.  (Reubens is in his 60s now, even if Pee-Wee is forever young.)

The story is similar to Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure.  Instead of a stolen bike, Pee-Wee is set off on his adventure after meeting Joe Manganiello.  Joe shows up in the diner where Pee-Wee works.  After becoming best of friends, Joe invites Pee-Wee to his birthday party in New York.  There’s just one problem:  Pee-Wee has no interest in leaving Fairville.  Joe leaves Pee-Wee to reconsider, which Pee-Wee does.  He sets out on a trip that takes a lot of unexpected turns.  He meets several interesting characters along the way.  The journey may not have gone to plan, but Pee-Wee ends up where he needs to be.

It’s strange how some movies or songs will always be enjoyable to some people while other people will have no use for them.  It seems like most of the people I know love Pee-Wee Herman or could do without him.  When I told my parents about the new movie, they weren’t all that excited, but I know that there are a lot of fans that won’t be disappointed.   Even if the movie is similar, it’s fun for me to see the character again.  Paul Reubens will forever be known for this character and still manages to play him well.  Throughout the movie, I was rooting for Pee-Wee to make it to New York.

The only real downside to the movie is that, so far as I know, you have to have (or know someone who has) Netflix to watch it.  I’m not sure if there were any plans to continue the franchise or if this was a one-off deal.   Wikipedia mentions some projects that may happen, but I don’t see anything new for the character on IMDb.  I don’t know if anyone will be signing up for Netflix just for this movie, but if you do, tell them Large Marge sent you.

IMDb page

Paradox (2016)

It’s hard enough defending a group from a gunman.  It’s worse when the gunman may be part of said group.  Add to that the realization that you might be the gunman and you have Paradox.

The movie starts with someone calling his boss to warn him not to come in to work.  He’s then gunned down.  We then see two government agents staking out a building.  One is telling the other who all the major players are.  Mr. Landau is the guy running Project 880.  On his team are Jim, William, Randy, Lewis and Gale.  Jim ends up being the one to go an hour into the future.

Once there, Jim finds the self-destruct sequence has been activated.  Everyone he sees is dead or dying.  Oh, and there’s the gunman on the loose.  Jim manages to take a video camera back with him, but the video gets corrupted on the trip back, making it almost useless.  So, two options present themselves.  The group can try to change the future by working on the video or they can accept their fate and die.  Oh, and someone might be a turncoat for the government.

This is one of those movies I stumbled upon while browsing Netflix.  Given the TV-MA rating, I’m assuming this was a made-for-TV movie.  The acting was pretty good, as were the effects.  I feel like it’s the writers that could have done better. The entire time-travel angle seems like just another plot device.  Jim tells everyone they’re going to die and has to watch them get hurt one by one.  Some people feel like changing the timeline might be a bad idea, but they can all agree that letting themselves be murdered sounds like a bad idea, too.

It ends up being a way of making us wonder who it could be.  Since it could be anyone, the killer can be in two places at once.  All of the characters can’t really claim innocence since they don’t know if they’re going to become the killer.  Instead of using this to make the story interesting, it ends up becoming a run-through of all the clichés you’d expect to find in a time-travel movie.  When it’s revealed who the killer is, we get to see a series of you-are-me arguments.  The future version of the character knows what the past version of the character was thinking, implying that there’s no choice in what’s going to happen.

We also find out that several people came from the future to capitalize on knowledge of the stock market and build the time machine, thus leading to a bootstrap paradox.  Did someone really invent time travel or did someone bring the basics back with them?

With movies like Time Lapse and Timecrimes, we see that time travel can be used to further the story and provide something to think about.  Here, it’s just something to move the story along.  The whole thing seems like an exercise in futility.


IMDb page

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

There’s something that I like about an epic tale.  I had known of The Chronicles of Narnia as books since I was a child, but I never read any of them.  When the first movie came out, I eventually rented it on DVD.  I decided that I liked it enough to want to see subsequent movies as they came out.  When this movie came out, I wasn’t able to see it in theaters, but was able to rent it from NetFlix.

The movie starts out in Narnia with a Telmarine (human) Prince Caspian being told that his aunt has given birth to a male child and that Caspian’s uncle (King Miraz) will now kill him so that Caspian’s cousin might become king.  Caspian is able to escape, but hits a branch shortly thereafter and falls off his horse.  He’s rescued by two dwarves and a badger.  As they’re distracting the search party sent to get Caspian, Caspian blows a horn to summon help.

A year has passed on Earth since the first movie.  The four Pevensie children (Edmund, Peter, Lucy and Susan) are on a subway platform going to their boarding school.  They’ve had to adjust to being children again.  (In the first movie, they had grown to adults in Narnia, but became their younger selves upon returning home.)  Shortly after getting on a train, everything breaks apart and is blown away.  They find themselves in Narnia again, where 1,300 years have passed.

They come upon some ruins and realize that it was the castle that they had used in the previous movie.  Much of the rest of Narnia has met a similar fate.  In the intervening 1,300 years, humans have taken over Narnia and have pretty much ruined everything.  Most of the nonhumans have been wiped out.  Those that remain fear for their lives.  Some of the animals have even forgotten how to talk.  The children find that they have to fight for Narnia once again.

It’s a fairly complex plot.  When they rescue a dwarf, he explains to the siblings what has happened since the first movie and leads in to the rest of the movie.  Once again, the four siblings are fighting for Narnia, but they have another human on their side and the help of a lot more animals and mythical creatures.

Some of the movie won’t make sense if you haven’t seen the first movie, The Chronicles of Narnia:  The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.  You’ll be able to follow most of it, but you may not understand some of the references and history behind some of the comments.  If you haven’t seen either yet, I’d recommend watching them in order of release.

The movies are based on a series of books.  Not having read them, I’m not sure how closely this movie follows the source material.  From what I understand, C. S. Lewis put Christian themes into the movies among others.  (Lucy has a strong belief that the lion, Aslan, will return despite not having evidence on her side.)

Overall, the movie was entertaining.  There were a few battle scenes, which shouldn’t come as a surprise if you’ve seen the first movie.  (For those that have seen the first movie, I don’t think that much of what I’ve said or what you’d see should be a surprise.)  I could deal with the religious aspects since they weren’t really overbearing.

The third movie, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, has already been released with the rest of the books set for future dates.  I’d be interested in seeing The Voyage of the Dawn Treader if I can get it on DVD. 

IMDb page

 

Primer (2004)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

I like science-fiction stories because of the possibilities that they open. This is especially true of time-travel movies. The problem with time travel is that it can be very easy to lose the audience. Pile on too much jargon and techno babble and you almost need a degree to follow along. Make it too simple and people lose interest. I’m not saying it’s impossible to write a good time travel story. It’s just that you have to do it right.

Shane Carruth wrote, directed and starred in Primer, which is a story about two guys that accidentally create a time machine. They’re part of a group of four guys working out of a garage on various projects. The project that they’re currently working on is an alternate source of energy. They spend their days working at ‘regular’ jobs and evenings tinkering with stuff, hoping to make something that’s marketable.

When an item placed in the chamber of the device grows some sort of fungus, they realize something’s amiss. It isn’t until one of them takes it to a lab that they realize that something’s really amiss. There’s way more fungus on it than should have accumulated in a short period of time. We’re talking several months’ worth in a few minutes. It doesn’t take long for them to realize that they have a time machine. If only they could make it bigger…

So, they make bigger boxes and rent some storage space. The primary limitation on the time machine is that it has to be on the entire time you’re in there. This means that you can’t go back to a time before you last turned it on. Not a big deal, since the two guys want to use the device to make money in the stock market using the ultimate in insider information.

They both agree to avoid themselves for fear of really screwing things up. It’s bad enough just going back in time. They have no idea what would happen if they met themselves. However, it is an interesting concept for them to ponder. What would it be like to do something you’ve always wanted to do, but were afraid to do? Could you, say, hit your boss, then go back and tell yourself not to do it?  They don’t do it literally, but they do go back and try to change major events, such as a party where someone gets shot.

Things get really strange when it’s revealed that they have a fail-safe machine. One of the guys built a machine that he just left running in another storage unit the whole time. This way, they could go back and undo everything in case things got botched beyond belief. This means that he thought of changing major events the whole time. It’s basically an escape clause of sorts. That’s where the movie got a little strange. They do go back in time to the beginning. One wants to stop them from inventing the machine while the other’s not so sure.

I don’t want to give away the ending, partly because I don’t fully understand it. By the time the movie was over, so much had happened that I couldn’t follow it all. The movie packed in a lot of story for just 80 minutes. I think that’s where the movie fails. It tries to tell a fairly complicated story in a short time frame. I was paying attention to the movie and I am technically inclined, relatively speaking. I still had a hard time making sense of the movie.

It’s not that the movie tries to hit you over the head with the science or math. It’s just that the two main characters go from trying to get alternate energy to time travel. Then, they go from the stock market to saving people. In the middle of the movie, they realize that someone else has used the machine to go back in time, but they’re not sure what the person has done nor do they really seem to do much about it. The entire subplot takes up maybe a few minutes in the movie. I totally didn’t get the ending at all.

Overall, I’d give the movie two stars. It started out strong, but went way to weird, even for me. It has a low-budget look. (This is probably do in part to the low budget.) It also had a very strange feel to it. It wasn’t quite movie and it wasn’t quite documentary or even mockumentary. It was definitely a different look. Since I watched it on the IFC, I can’t really complain. It wasn’t bad for something I didn’t pay for. 

IMDb page

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

I had wanted to see The Chronicles of Narnia in the theaters, but I wasn’t sure how much of a kids’ movie it was. I didn’t really want to go by myself if there would be a theater full of kids and there weren’t any people that I thought would be willing to go with me to see what I knew would be a fantasy movie.

For those that don’t know, this movie is based on the first of seven books by C. S. Lewis. It tells the tale of four children sent away by their mother to protect them from the onslaught of WWII. (Their names are Edmund, Peter, Lucy and Susan.) They’re living with a professor that they’re told not to disturb. They’re also told not to touch anything, but it isn’t long before Lucy finds a wardrobe that leads to Narnia

At first, no one believes her. Not only does she find a wardrobe that leads to another world, but she meets a faun and when she returns, only a few seconds have elapsed. Yes, all four children do eventually go through and learn that Lucy was telling the truth. There’s also supposed to be a prophecy that four children of Adam and Eve (humans) are supposed to end the reign of an evil witch.

The White Which is that evil witch and wants to thwart the prophecy. She tries to get Edmund to betray his siblings and kidnaps him when he fails. It’s up to the remaining siblings to find a lion named Aslan to get him back and to stop the White Witch’s rule on Narnia.

It’s an interesting story and definitely has a fantasy element, so a few adults may be turned off by this. Many of the animals talk, which is definitely aided by CGI. There’s also magic and even an appearance by Santa Claus, even though there’s been no Christmas in Narnia for over 100 years. The thing I found odd was that he gave three of the children weapons to help fight, which you wouldn’t expect from someone who’s known for giving out toys.

I didn’t find the movie to be too overbearing in terms of any sort of moral. While it was fun and there is the sense that good will prevail, it wasn’t like someone was being very obvious about anything. If anything, the fantasy may be a bit much for some people. There are all sorts of creatures that you’d expect from fantasy, like fauns. It’s a little complicated. If you miss part of it or if you miss the first half, you may be lost later on in the movie.

This movie is based on the first of seven books. I’ve never read any of them, so I have no idea how closely the story follows. The biggest indication of how much people like the movie may be how well the sequels do. Granted, since the movies are based on books, there will be a built-in audience. However, if the first two movies don’t translate well, they may not do the remaining five. However, I will be waiting for all of the remaining six movies and may even see if I can pick up the books.

I do recommend this movie. The only downside for some people may be the violence that comes about due to a war. I would think it’s safe for children ten and up, but it is something to consider. The second movie is currently in production, which I may see in the theater depending on when it comes out. 

IMDb page

Sigma DC 201940 10-20 mm F/4.0-5.6 HSM EX IF ASP Lens

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

When I first got a digital SLR, my brother gave me some great advice. He told me to wait a few months before buying any new lenses. At the time, I had a Sigma 28-90 and a Nikkor 35-135. Those should be enough for a while. Eventually, I’d figure out what, if anything, I needed to get. It didn’t take me long to realize that I wanted to get wide-angle shots. 28mm was pretty wide, but there were shots that I just couldn’t get.

The day I decided to buy something, I was in North Carolina. There was a bus station I wanted to photograph, but I had a building to one side and a building behind me, so I couldn’t get into a position where I could photograph the entire building. I knew it was time to buy something wider.

I knew that I wanted to get really wide shots and didn’t want to have to go out and buy yet another lens, so I decided to go all the way. I looked at several lenses, including the Nikon 12-24. I finally decided on the Sigma 10-20 for several reasons. (The most important was that the Nikon 12-24 was more than twice the price of this lens at the time.) I had looked at lenses that weren’t as wide, but I was afraid that it wouldn’t be enough.

When set to 10mm, I get an extremely wide shot with this lens. It ranges from 63.8 to 102.4°, which is pretty good. My mother wanted me to take pictures of various tents. I was standing so close to one that my mother wanted me to stand back. I actually moved a little closer so as not to include a fence in the picture. I’ve also found that it’s hard to take pictures without people because they often don’t realize they’re in the picture.

The lens is f/4-5.6, which means that it’s not letting in as much light as other lenses. Then again, I intend to use the lens mostly outdoors. If you’re indoors, you’ll have to get an SB-600. I have a Nikon D50 and the onboard flash isn’t enough. You can actually see where the on-board flash falls off.

I have tried using the lens on occasion for nighttime photography. It’s a little trickier because you need a tripod and no flash. You’re better off using a tripod and going for a long exposure. If you go to my Flickr account, I’ve actually tagged many of my Sigma 10-20 shots as such. Many came out good, but not as good as they could have been.

The lens works better with nature photography than with architecture, the reason being that it’s tending towards a fisheye lens. The distortion is somewhat noticeable at 20mm and very noticeable at 10mm. (The distortion can be compensated for in Photoshop.) When I had the lens at work the other day, a coworker was using the lens to take pictures of our faces. It looked almost like a funhouse mirror.

If you’re at 10mm and you’re taking pictures of a room, you have to have the lens aimed perpendicular to the wall. If you do point the lens perpendicular, you’ll notice that the room seems deeper than it really is. If you don’t, you may see some of the vertical lines tilting. This is true for any straight line, really. If you can go into a store and test out the lens, point the lens at a wall and move the camera left to right. You’ll see what I’m talking about.

One interesting aspect is that it’s a HSM lens, which is the Sigma designation for High Speed Motor. If anyone reading this has a D40, D40x or a D60, you’re thinking to yourself that the salesman may have said something about having to use Nikon DX lenses. This is because those cameras don’t have a lens motor. You have to buy lenses that have motors, such as the Nikon DX lenses or (drum roll, please) Sigma HSM lenses. Yes, this lens will work on the aforementioned cameras. (In retrospect, I should have tried it on one of those cameras the other day, as I work in a camera store.)

If you have a full-frame camera, like a Nikon D3, you’ll see cropping. The lens was intended for digital cameras. If you’re wondering if they make a VR version of this, it would really be pointless as you don’t need it with smaller distances. You have to really move a lens to get shake at 10mm. As for color fringing, I have noticed it on one or two photos, but the lens has been pretty good at not having it. This is especially important for outdoor shots.

Overall, the lens gets five stars. The lens is exactly what I want and, while expensive, was worth every penny.