Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 15 (Angel One)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

Just when you thought that the first season couldn’t get any worse, “Angel One” comes along. You’re going to see me make a lot of complaints that you’ll find elsewhere, including other reviews on this site. If you’ve seen this episode, you’ll realize that all of the complaints are valid. You’d make them, too, if you wrote a review.

The Enterprise is looking for survivors from a freighter that was destroyed many years ago. They find several male survivors on a female-dominated planet called Angel One. If you read my review of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you’ll recall me complaining how uninspired “The Chosen One” was. The leader of the planet has the title of Elected One. (How pathetic is that?)

Commander Riker, Chief of Security Yar, Counselor Troi and Lieutenant Commander Data beam down to the planet to negotiate for the return of those survivors. Those in power aren’t willing to give much up at first, but reveal that the survivors are, indeed, somewhere on the planet. They’re considered renegades and the government of Angel One is more than willing to be rid of them, assuming that the Enterprise can find them. The trouble is that the survivors have a life on the planet and don’t want to leave. Things change when The Elected One announces that they’re to be put to death.

Simply beaming them up isn’t an option since this mystery virus simply appears. Wesley Crusher and a friend of his are the first to come down with it. It quickly spreads, infecting about 300 people on the Enterprise. No one dies from it and the symptoms seem to be confined to the cold-like variety, such as sneezing and coughing, but there’s no point in deliberately infecting anyone. To make matters worse, the Enterprise is supposed to deal with a problem in the Neutral Zone, which gives them a deadline. Dr. Crusher is able to find a cure in time and everything works out.

The biggest complaint I have is with the writing. (Actually, I have two complaints with the writing; this is just one of them.) Angel One’s female-dominated society seems to be like a male-dominated society found on Earth, only with the genders reversed. Women are bigger and stronger. They hold the positions of power and are aggressive. The men are smaller and are considered inferior by the women, who constantly comment on their lesser abilities. It’s very stereotypical and not well written.

The other complaint I had with the writing was the whole virus thing. No one mentioned where it came from or exactly what it was. In fact, I don’t get the impression that it was any worse than the common cold. For all anyone knows, it would have eventually gone away. Of course, the thing with the Neutral Zone did make finding a cure a priority, as did the fact that any good doctor wouldn’t just wait to find out. However, I don’t think it was mentioned if Dr. Crusher did any research. So far as I can tell, the virus just popped into existence.

This episode gets one star. Neither plot is really that good. The female-dominated society is a thinly veiled attempt to show how ridiculous sexism is by showing the reverse. It comes across as a caricature. The virus plot is nothing more than a crisis-of-the-week type thing. A little more detail would have made this a lot better. With no real story, everything else falls flat. I’d recommend avoiding this episode.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 14 (Datalore)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

How many times have you seen one of those evil-twin stories? There are a lot of them, and they’re usually not that good. “Datalore” is no exception. The Enterprise is going to Omicron Theta, which is where Data was ‘born’ 26 years ago. He’s an android created by Dr. Noonian Soong. He now serves as the chief science officer on the Enterprise. It was believed that he was the only one until that fateful day during the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation

Some mysterious force destroyed all life on the planet, but the landing party finds a secret entrance that leads them to Dr. Soong’s lab. They find several drawings on the wall, all of which depict some sort of alien force hovering above the city. In a storage area, the landing party finds another android; this one has been disassembled and is not active. The landing party takes the pieces back up to the ship, where the chief engineer reassembles the newly discovered android.

When they turn him on, they have to wait before he becomes conscious. His name is Lore and he apparently is the opposite of Data in terms of personality and programming. Lore can lie, use contractions and show emotion. Data is compelled to tell the truth, can’t use contractions at all and has no emotion at all.

It turns out that Lore was behind the destruction of the colony. He had led what was called the Crystalline Entity to the colony; the Entity drained the planet of all life. Now, Lore wants to give the Enterprise over to the Crystalline Entity. Lore even tricks Data, deactivates him and assumes his identity.

Wesley Crusher, the boy genius, is the only one that seems to notice, despite the fact that there are several clues. When Wesley points out that Data might not be Data, the adult crew members are dismissive of him. It doesn’t come off well at all. In the end, Wesley is able to reactivate Data; the two of them save the day together. Data throws Lore onto a transporter pad and Wesley beams him off into space.

I have some major problems with this episode. First off, the shields were up. Lore was going to transport something out as a pretense to get the shields down, thus allowing the Crystalline Entity in. Since the Entity was unable to affect the ship, I have to assume that the shields weren’t dropped. If the shields weren’t dropped, where was Lore seno? It would have had to have been somewhere within the boundary set by the shields. On top of that, they just leave Lore so that he can just drift in space or be dragged along until the shields are dropped.

Speaking of Lore, why didn’t anyone wonder why Lore had been disassembled in the first place? I also have to wonder how Lore met the Crystalline Entity in the first place. Plus, how did anyone have time to draw pictures of the entity? It seemed as though the Crystalline Entity was more than ready to get down to business.

Also, as Data is leaving the cargo bay after the fight, Captain Picard asks Data if he’s all right. Data says, “I’m fine.” They made this big deal about Data not being able to use contractions and here he goes and uses one. At first, I thought I was imagining it, but it’s even listed on TV Tome and other people have noticed it, too.

I also don’t get the episode’s title, “Datalore”. At first, I assumed that it meant something. However, I can’t find datalore in any dictionary. So far as I can tell, it’s just a combination of Data and Lore. If there is some meaning, I don’t know what it is.

This episode is worth two stars. It sets up several others, but this one is poorly written. The effects and acting are good, though. Ultimately, I can’t recommend it.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 13 (The Big Goodbye)

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It seemed that during the run of Star Trek: The Next Generation, the technology not only failed quite often, but it failed at the worst possible moment. In this case, the Enterprise is on its way to negotiate with a race that has very strict adherence to protocol. Captain Picard is to deliver a greeting in their language at a precise moment. Another captain’s failure once led to a 20-year rift, so the pressure’s on. With less than a day to go, Counselor Troi advises Picard to relax. Picard decides to take advantage of the ship’s holodeck, which is capable of creating anything that the user wants.

Picard chooses a 1940’s-era detective program, taking on the character of Dixon Hill. After trying it for a few minutes, he has to leave, but he invites Dr. Crusher, Lieutenant Commander Data and the ship’s historian, Mr. Whalen. (I don’t recall if his rank was ever mentioned.) While they’re in the holodeck, the alien race scans the Enterprise, causing the holodeck to malfunction. All four people are effectively trapped. The pressure is now on an engineering team to figure out where the malfunction is and to fix it in time for Picard to deliver the greeting.

This is one of those episodes where young Wesley Crusher saves the day. A lot of people hated this character because he was this teenager who seemed to know everything. (In a prior episode, Picard was told that Wesley was to engineering and science what Beethoven was to music.) Here, he is able to work alongside trained professionals and identify what’s wrong with the computers. I don’t think it was that he was so good. It was probably that he very often made the engineering department look bad with little or no effort.

On that note, Wesley tells Commander Riker that if they make one mistake, the people in the holodeck could disappear with the program. I’m not that clear on how a holodeck works, but I’m pretty sure that any matter that enters the holodeck can’t be affected. Most of what is seen in the holodeck is projected light. The use of force fields can give the impression of substance and matter can be replicated as necessary. However, I don’t think that matter, let alone living people, could be affected like that. There have been several other instances in this series and in Deep Space Nine and Voyager where I’ve had reason to question this belief. I still don’t think that accidental death by holodeck should be that easy.

I also have a few other questions. For instance, why does a starship have a historian? I realize that history is important, but is a historian so important that he has to accompany a ship? Engineers I could understand since their services could be necessary at any moment. However, a historian could probably effectively render services from anywhere.

Also, Picard seemed like a kid with a new toy. However, I have to wonder if he’d ever seen a holodeck before. I don’t know how new the technology is. Picard makes a log entry explaining it, which would lead me to believe that it might be a relatively new technology. (That would help explain why a malfunction is caused so easily.) However, I’d like to think that if Starfleet is going to put them on ships that the technology would at least be commonplace. The truth about the malfunction was that this episode was set to air right after 11001001, in which upgrades were made to the holodeck. Upgrades are actually mentioned in the episode, presumably referring to the ones in the other episode. However, many of the first-season episodes aired out of order.

Another interesting note about the holodeck is that Picard goes through a lot of trouble to set up the Dixon Hill program. He tells the computer that he wants Earth around the 1940s, then says that he wants the Dixon Hill program by name. Shouldn’t he just be able to say, “Run Dixon Hill program” and have the computer figure out the rest?

The only other problem with the holodeck is that two of the Dixon Hill characters are able to walk out of the holodeck. As I mentioned, most of what someone sees in the holodeck is supposed to be nothing more than projections. The instant that they leave the holodeck, they should have disappeared. However, they were both able to make it out into the hallway. Another character, after having been told what he is, asks Picard if he’ll have a wife to go home to. This is a bit metaphysical for a holodeck character.

Overall, I can’t see giving it more than two stars. Even if you’re willing to overlook the mistakes, it’s a relatively weak story. The entire episode revolves around Picard having to perform this difficult and important task. Even the holodeck malfunction might have been able to if it hadn’t been for the importance of the mission. In fact, had it not been for the mission, there wouldn’t have been a need for the use of the holodeck and the malfunction wouldn’t have even occurred. I can’t recommend buying this episode on VHS. Even if you get the DVD set, I would recommend skipping this episode.


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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 12 (Too Short a Season)

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Even in the 24th century, not everything is perfect. Time still takes its toll on the human body. Admiral Mark Jameson is in his 80s or 90s and showing his age. He’s got a terminal illness and is bound to the equivalent of a wheelchair. The Enterprise is to take Jameson to a planet where he once negotiated a treaty. A governor there, Karnas, requested him by name saying that hostages have been taken on his planet and that Jameson is the only one that he trusts to get the hostages back.

En route, strange things start happening to the admiral. At first, it’s simply bizarre. (He is able to walk when he shouldn’t be able to.) Then, he starts actually looking younger. He’s also experiencing pain. Eventually, he reveals that after conducting negotiations for a planet, he acquired two treatments of an anti-aging substance. (One was for him and the other was to be for his wife.) Rather than wait for it to take its full course, he took both of them. However, the effect was too much for one person to withstand.

By the time the Enterprise reaches its destination, Jameson is a young man again. It also turns out that Governor Karnas was lying. Karnas is the one that actually has the hostages and is trying to lure Jameson to the planet to exact revenge. Jameson ‘negotiated’ with Karnas by giving into Karnas’s demands for weapons. Jameson then gave weapons to the other sides, thus plunging the planet into 40 years of civil war. Karnas doesn’t get his revenge, though. Jameson dies as a result of the treatment; his body simply can’t take the strain of two treatments.

The episode comes across as a little too preachy, trying to tell the audience how a second chance at youth comes at too great a price. Simply put, taking both treatments was selfish and stupid. It was Jameson’s own shortsightedness that killed him. What did Jameson expect would happen? I’d also like to point out that the medicine was never followed up on. There was nothing ever said about the planet being quarantined or other people trying to get the drug.

Also, the older version of Jameson didn’t quite work well. The makeup looked just short of realistic and Clayton Rohner, who played Jameson, sounded like he was trying to impersonate Yoda. He didn’t quite pull it off.

The only real concern I had was when Picard insisted on beaming down with an away team. In the pilot episode, it was specifically said that Riker got the job of first officer because he wasn’t afraid to tell the Captain to stay on the Enterprise when an away mission might be dangerous and it definitely looked like Picard was walking into a dangerous situation.

Overall, it wasn’t a great episode. If you’re buying the VHS tapes, skip this one. In fact, if you’re watching the episodes on DVD, you might want to consider saving this episode for a slow night on TV. It was good, but not great. I give it three stars. 

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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 11 (Hide and Q)

Once again, the Enterprise is on its way somewhere. In this case, it’s a relief mission to a planet in dire need of aid. On their way there, Q decides to drop in. Q is that omnipotent being from the pilot that used members of the Enterprise bridge crew to hold humanity on trial for being a barbaric race. This time, Q is only interested in Commander Riker. During that encounter, the Q found Riker to be interesting and different.

Q decides to take most of the bridge crew (including Riker) to a mysterious planet. (Picard is left on the bridge to discover that nothing works.) On the planet, Q tells Riker that they’re going to play a little game. The purpose of this game is to study how everyone behaves. It seems simple enough, especially considering that their opponents seem to be these beasts with rifles. Riker thinks it’s too easy; he even tests his phaser out on a rock to make sure that they still work. When the beasts approach, the rifles shoot phaser blasts. They even kill two people

That’s when Q’s real motives become evident; he gives Riker all of the powers of the Q. Riker is able to send everyone back to the bridge and heal the wounded. Q and Riker discuss the possibilities. However, when Riker returns to the Enterprise, Captain Picard has him promise not to use his powers. This proves more difficult that Riker initially thought. In the end, Riker comes to realize what the price of omnipotence is. No one likes the man that Riker has become.

It’s a good story, even if it is a bit predictable. Q stories tended to be a little better; Q was one of the many Trek characters that I looked forward to seeing. It shows how power can corrupt and Riker was given absolute power. This is also the first reference to others like Q. There’s an entire continuum, where the Q exist. (I think that there were two other Q shown on The Next Generation, but it was better developed on Voyager.) This is also the first time that Q has to deal with responsibility. Q, having been defeated, was to leave humanity alone. Other Q step in and remove him forcibly.

Part of the problem with the episode was that Riker’s change from first officer to god-like being was very quick. I suppose that there are limitations imposed by the 48-minute timeframe imposed by television. The only other problem I found was a goof. Chief of Security Tasha Yar was sent back to the Enterprise to be put in a penalty box. After sending her there, Q explains to everyone else what happened to her. When Yar gets up there, she explains it to the captain. How can she be so certain what happened to her? Did Q explain it on the way up?

I’d say that this episode is worthy of three stars. You don’t really need to be a fan of the show to understand it, but I would say that only regular viewers would be interested. I could see a lot of non-fans not liking this episode. I’d recommend it, but it would depend on who I’m talking to.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 10 (The Battle)

Before taking command of the U.S.S. Enterprise, Captain Jean-Luc Picard was captain of the U.S.S. Stargazer. He had commanded it for 22 years until a fight with an unidentified ship. Picard destroyed the other ship, but the Stargazer was so badly damaged that the ship was abandonded. Now, the Ferengi are trying to contact Captain Picard, but they won’t give details on why. On the way to meet them, Picard starts getting headaches, which is apparently a pretty rare thing in the 24th century.

When the Enterprise finally meets up with the Ferengi ship, the Ferengi Daimon (roughly equivalent to a captain) presents Picard with the Stargazer. They found it adrift and wish to present it to Picard – at no cost. This shocks his subordinate officers, but Daimon Bok is insistent that it be presented as a gift. The shock is warranted, considering that the Ferengi are motivated solely by profit.

The headaches worsen, but an explanation becomes evident to the audience: there’s some sort of device that glows whenever Picard gets one of his headaches. Bok seems to be controlling it. It turns out that the ship that Picard destroyed was a Ferengi ship and Bok’s son was on it. Bok wants to exact revenge by putting Picard through what Bok went through all those years ago.

It’s an interesting episode, even if it is just a little odd. This is the second appearance of the Ferengi and they’re not as ridiculous as their last appearance. The Ferengi are still a one-dimensional race, motivated by profit in the extreme to the point that when it’s revealed what Bok has done, he’s relieved of command; there’s no profit in revenge.

We also get to learn what Picard had done before commanding the Enterprise, but many other people have pointed out that there hasn’t been anything said about what Picard did during the nine years between abandoning the Stargazer and taking command of the Enterprise. (Actually, come to think of it, Commander Riker is the only one who has had his previous career explored. Other than Picard and Riker, I don’t think that it was ever mentioned where many characters had served prior to coming on the Enterprise.)

The Stargazer would be mentioned again in the series. In fact, this episode would serve as the basis for a seventh-season episode. The Picard Maneuver is also established in this episode. If you ever want to know what it is, this is the episode you’ll want to watch.

I’d give this episode three stars. It’s interesting, but nothing spectacular. Other than that one seventh-season episode, you could probably skip it and not miss it. In fact, you don’t entirely need to have seen this episode to understand the other. I’d still recommend it, though.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 9 (Justice)

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Throughout the run of Star Trek: The Next Generation, there seemed to be a few throwaway episodes that seemed to serve no purpose other than to fill out the season. These throwaway episodes suffered from bad writing, bad plots and/or bad acting. “Lonely Among Us” is one of those episodes. (Most of the throwaway episodes seemed to be concentrated in the first two seasons.)

The Enterprise is taking two sets of delegates to a planet called Parliament. Both worlds have been at odds for as long as each world has had interplanetary travel. On the way, the Enterprise encounters some sort of cloud made entirely of energy. The ship picks up some sort of energy being, which goes into Worf. Worf is knocked unconscious and taken to sickbay, where the being transfers to Dr. Crusher, who then begins to act strangely.

From Crusher, the energy is transferred into the ship’s computers. Once that happens, things start malfunctioning; the assistant chief engineer is killed by the energy being, albeit accidentally. It eventually finds its way into Captain Picard, who also starts acting strangely. The crew knows something’s up, but no one has grounds to remove Picard from command. The episode ends strangely. I don’t think that I could adequately explain it if I wanted to. It doesn’t really make a lot of sense to me.

Part of the problem is that the energy-based life form dominates the story. The delegates seem to be there only to add urgency; it wouldn’t be that much of a problem if the delegates didn’t need to get somewhere. The problem doesn’t pose an immediate problem to them and there’s no hard deadline on their arrival, but it’s still a nuisance.

Then, there’s the body-snatching aspect. How many times has some alien entity invaded someone and left them with no memory of what happened? In Worf’s case, he was unconscious the entire time. However, it would have been nice for someone to be able to convey some sense of what the entity wanted.

I give this episode one star. The story just doesn’t seem to have much substance. There was nothing learned or gained. One could very easily be skipped without gaining or losing anything. I really couldn’t find any redeeming quality to the episode other than the acting, which again wasn’t exceptional.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 8 (Lonely Among Us)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

Throughout the run of Star Trek: The Next Generation, there seemed to be a few throwaway episodes that seemed to serve no purpose other than to fill out the season. These throwaway episodes suffered from bad writing, bad plots and/or bad acting. “Lonely Among Us” is one of those episodes. (Most of the throwaway episodes seemed to be concentrated in the first two seasons.)

The Enterprise is taking two sets of delegates to a planet called Parliament. Both worlds have been at odds for as long as each world has had interplanetary travel. On the way, the Enterprise encounters some sort of cloud made entirely of energy. The ship picks up some sort of energy being, which goes into Worf. Worf is knocked unconscious and taken to sickbay, where the being transfers to Dr. Crusher, who then begins to act strangely.

From Crusher, the energy is transferred into the ship’s computers. Once that happens, things start malfunctioning; the assistant chief engineer is killed by the energy being, albeit accidentally. It eventually finds its way into Captain Picard, who also starts acting strangely. The crew knows something’s up, but no one has grounds to remove Picard from command. The episode ends strangely. I don’t think that I could adequately explain it if I wanted to. It doesn’t really make a lot of sense to me.

Part of the problem is that the energy-based life form dominates the story. The delegates seem to be there only to add urgency; it wouldn’t be that much of a problem if the delegates didn’t need to get somewhere. The problem doesn’t pose an immediate problem to them and there’s no hard deadline on their arrival, but it’s still a nuisance.

Then, there’s the body-snatching aspect. How many times has some alien entity invaded someone and left them with no memory of what happened? In Worf’s case, he was unconscious the entire time. However, it would have been nice for someone to be able to convey some sense of what the entity wanted.

I give this episode one star. The story just doesn’t seem to have much substance. There was nothing learned or gained. One could very easily be skipped without gaining or losing anything. I really couldn’t find any redeeming quality to the episode other than the acting, which again wasn’t exceptional.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 7 (The Last Outpost)

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The Ferengi have come a long way. Many who are familiar with the race are familiar with Quark of Deep Space Nine. However, early in The Next Generation, there was The Last Outpost, which was their first appearance.

The Ferengi had stolen some equipment and the Enterprise is sent after them. The Enterprise catches up with them near a planet, only to discover that much of their equipment has stopped working. They can’t leave orbit, but they soon discover that the Ferengi are having the same problem.

Both send landing parties to the planet, where they find all sorts of strange things, like large crystal formations. They eventually discover a guardian, who tests them and finds Commander Riker to be worthy. The guardian surprised to find out that the empire that the planet was part of is long gone; apparently, he had been asleep for many millennia. Power is restored to both ships and the Enterprise gets the equipment back.

So far as I can tell, the only purpose of this episode is to set up the Ferengi. Coincidentally, Armin Shimerman, who plays Quark on DS9, plays one of the Ferengi. However, the Ferengi in this episode are vastly different. The Ferengi were supposed to replace the Klingons as the main adversaries, but that didn’t work out too well. Here, they’re more goofy than threatening. They come across as ugly clowns gone bad. Supposedly, not much is known about the Ferengi at this point, despite the fact that both Picard and Captain Archer of Star Trek: Enterprise have had dealings with them.

I can’t see giving this episode more than two stars. The message is just a little obvious and the Ferengi are just plain ridiculous. Someone could easily skip this episode and not miss much. If you get the DVD set or happen to catch it on TV, I’d recommend watching it just to see how bad it is, but I can’t recommend investing hard-earned money on the VHS tape

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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 6 (Where No One Has Gone Before)

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Even though the Enterprise is a new ship, Starfleet feels that an engineer by the name of Kosinski can do quite a bit for the Enterprise’s warp drive. The warp drive is what allows ships to go faster than light. Kosinski claims that he can make the engines more efficient.

Upon arriving in engineering, he has his assistant enter the equations. (The assistant is known simply as The Traveler, as his given name is unpronounceable to us.) The chief engineer of the Enterprise thinks that the equations are full of crap, but things seem to go pretty well, if only for a few minutes. Soon, the Enterprise is sent millions of light years away. Using the warp drive, it would take over 300 years to get home.

Wesley Crusher was the first to see what was really going on. He noticed The Traveler phasing in and out of our reality. He tries to tell Commander Riker, but Riker won’t listen to him. When the ship tries to get back home, things get even worse; the ship ends up on the outer rim of the universe. The thing is that Commander Riker notices what Wesley had.

The Traveler is drained, but feels that he can make one more attempt. Before trying, he tells Captain Picard that Wesley is different. Much as Mozart was a prodigy for music, Wesley is an prodigy when it comes to Engineering. Picard agrees to encourage Wesley. Fortunately, the third time is a charm; the Enterprise ends up back where it started, but The Traveler disappears. On the bridge, Wesley is made an acting ensign.

There are two things that I noticed about Kosinski. First, despite being in a Starfleet uniform, he has no combadge. It seems that everyone in the uniform has the small communications device where they can reach it; not Kosinski. The second thing is that he’s pretty arrogant for an ensign. He’s convinced that he’s the best thing to happen to engineering since the slide rule. He’s not going to let anyone tell him he’s wrong. (Especially not some lowly chief engineer or first officer.) When Kosinski is finally proven to be wrong, it comes as a great shock to him that everyone else really was right, after all.

There’s also the issue of Wesley. This episode sets into motion his Starfleet career, which would also end with The Traveler seven years later. This episode would set up several others and have long-lasting effects. I don’t know if the writers had necessarily planed it that way, but it was a good thing that this was dealt with so early in the series.

I’d give this episode four stars. It’s a simple episode, but there’s something to be said for simplicity sometimes. If you can make it this far in the series, you might see that Wesley isn’t the only one with promise. It seems like the main characters are beginning to find themselves. I would definitely recommend this episode to anyone.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 5 (Haven)

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The Enterprise is in orbit of Haven, a planet said to be able to heal the sick simply by being there. Everything is going well until a Betazoid gift box is beamed over to the Enterprise. No one is sure what it is; it stays motionless until Deanna Troi, the ship’s half-Betazoid counselor arrives in the transporter room. It activates and plays a recorded message. Finally, it releases gifts. Troi explains that it means that she’s getting married.

Apparently, on Betazed, there are still arranged marriages. She had assumed that since she was so far away and that since her betrothed was human that she would never have to go through with it. However, the other family apparently insisted. Troi’s marriage means that she won’t be staying on the Enterprise. The man that she’s supposed to marry is Wyatt Miller, a medical doctor. Troi can sense that he’s surprised when he sees her. It isn’t until a little later that it’s revealed that he expected her to look different.

As if one problem wasn’t enough, a ship approaches Haven, but doesn’t respond to any hails. The ship is identified as Tarellian. It’s a mystery since the Tarellians were thought to have been wiped out. They carry a plague that apparently has a very high mortality rate; entire planets have been wiped out. Now, the Enterprise is in a difficult situation. They can’t just destroy the ship, but they can’t just let the people on the ship beam down. The Enterprise locks on with its tractor beam and tows them away. It isn’t until then that the Tarellians contact the Enterprise; one of the people on the ship is the woman that Wyatt expected Deanna to be.

I really didn’t like this episode. I won’t tell you how it ends. I don’t really see the point here. However, the solution seems too easy. Since Troi goes on to be in the remainder of the series, it’s safe to say that, at least to some degree, things work out for her. However, both ‘problems’ had one solution that didn’t really seem to have too much thought put into it. It just happened.

On a positive note, this is the first episode where we get to see Deanna’s mother, Lwaxana Troi. Lwaxana was a bit much when in this episode. She seems to have taken a romantic interest in Captain Picard. She’s telepathic and states that she can sense Picard’s interest in her. However, Picard shows no outward signs of any actual interest in Lwaxana Troi. I suppose that even telepaths aren’t above fooling themselves. The whole thing comes across as comical. When I first watched the series, I found Lwaxana to be irritating, mostly because I wouldn’t have wanted to find myself in Picard’s position. However, watching the episode now, it’s not that bad.

The character of Wyatt Miller still seems a little irritating. Neither he nor Deanna seems to want to go through with the marriage, but both realize that there’s little that they can do about it. Wyatt seems to be taking the marriage lightly, not really seeming to mind that he’s about to marry a woman that he’s hardly ever seen. Deanna has accepted this as part of her culture. However, Wyatt is human. I suppose that he’s also known about it his entire life, as well. However, I would expect some sense of something. Commander Riker is the one that isn’t at all pleased about it. He and Deanna had been romantically involved. Even though they had gone their separate ways years ago, he still has feelings for her.

In terms of graphics, I also wasn’t impressed. When the Enterprise locked on to the Tarellian ship, the Tarellian ship seemed to skip. If you look closely, you’ll see it move backwards a little bit. I don’t know what the deal was. Maybe no one caught it; maybe it was intentional. Still, I would have expected a little more.

This episode is worth only two stars. It seems like the earlier episodes are easier to pick apart. The scripts don’t seem to be as well written and the graphics aren’t as good as in later seasons. Also, the acting and the characters don’t really develop until the second season. If you’re buying the episodes on VHS, skip this one. 

IMDb page

Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 4 (Code of Honor)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

“Code of Honor” wasn’t one of the Next Generation episodes that I particularly remember. As I’ve said before, it takes a while for a show to find its place. With Star Trek: The Next Generation, it’s apparently going to take at least four episodes. There are a lot of factors behind that.

The Enterprise is sent to a planet called Ligon to get a vaccine, which is urgently needed. It can’t be replicated and apparently, there’s nowhere else in the known galaxy where it can be obtained. The Ligonians are willing to negotiate for it. During the negotiations, Lutan, the leader of the Ligonians, kidnaps Chief of Security Tasha Yar. According to the Ligonians’ code of honor, this is considered a bold move, designed to get someone’s attention.

It worked, and now Captain Picard has to politely ask for her return. However, Lutan announces that he wishes to make Yar his first wife. His current first wife, Yarina, protests and challenges Yar to a death match. Now, Picard is in a really tough position. According to the Federation’s rules, he can’t interfere. He needs the vaccine, which he could just take. However, his own code of honor would prohibit that. Yar wants to fight, which the captain is inclined to allow.

I won’t reveal how the episode ends. To ruin the surprise would be unnecessary in this case. I will say that the episode is very unremarkable. It’s similar to “Amok Time” from the original series in that two people have to fight to the death over a spouse, leaving someone else to figure something out. Also, notice how similar Yar is to Yarina. Also, when I first watched the episode, I kept expecting people to say lieutenant whenever people said Lutan. Coincidentally, lieutenant is Yar’s rank. (Lutan + Yarina = Lieutenant Yar?)

I would have to say that this is among the ten worst episodes of The Next Generation. A lot of it has to do with the story, which I’ve mentioned in the above paragraph. It seems more like it’s being used to set up other episodes. Wesley gets to sit at ops and Data explores humor. Part of it is also the acting. When Yar is kidnapped, Picard doesn’t seem to react with shock. He simply calls security to inform them of what’s happened. Actually, no one seems to react with shock at first.

I’d give this episode one star. There’s no way that I can recommend this episode. Even if you get it as part of the DVD set, I think that you could easily skip it and not miss anything. 

IMDb page

Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 3 (The Naked Now)

When you think of a cult classic, you tend to think of movies.  It could be argued that Star Trek would be the ultimate cult classic.  It didn’t do that well when it first aired, but it gained enough popularity to spawn at least a dozen movies, hundreds of books and several spin-off series.  Having been born a few years after the original series ended, I’ve always known it as having a cult following.  William Shatner has always been Captain James T. Kirk.

I was in middle school when the first spin-off series premiered.  Set about 70-something years after the original series, it followed the adventures of the crew of a new Enterprise, the Enterprise-D.  The pilot was pretty good, considering that a new TV episode hadn‘t aired for a few decades, but the series went downhill from there, starting with The Naked Now.

The crew of the new Enterprise is responding to a research vessel, the SS Tsiolkovsky.  (The ship’s plaque shows the name as К. Э. Циолковский.)  The crew is having, as one officer puts it, a “blowout”.  Just then, what appears to be a hull breach exposes that part of the ship to space.  An away team finds the crew frozen.  Some are naked on a couch.  Another is fully dressed in the shower.

When the away team beams back, Geordi La Forge starts complaining how hot it is.  He’s uncharacteristically angry and aggressive.  Also, he seems to be sweating a lot.  Noting is physically wrong with any of the away team, but Dr. Crusher orders La Forge to be quarantined in sickbay, which consists of La Forge lying in a bed.  He later walks out of sickbay.  (Yes, he just gets up and walks out.)

What he has isn’t, strictly speaking, an infection.  It’s the same thing as the original-series episode The Naked Time.  Water molecules have chained together so as to make the affected person appear drunk.  The affliction is spread by touch and soon affects a good chunk of the crew, making them all drunk, apparently regardless of species.  It even affects the android, Lt. Cmdr. Data.  (How does an android even get drunk?)

Even the teenaged boy, Wesley Crusher, is affected.  Being that I was about that age when the show first aired, it never occurred to me just how annoying he was.  This episode was a pretty good example of how annoying and unrealistic the character could be.  Early in the episode, he shows La Forge two inventions.  One is a handheld tractor/repulsor beam that he can use to pick stuff up.  The other is a playback device that makes it seem that the Captain is giving orders.  Wesley can use this to pretend he’s a member of the bridge crew.  Both of these inventions are important to the episode.  Neither is ever mentioned again.

Wesley is able to take over engineering by having the chief engineer and assistant chief engineer report to different parts of the ship.  He then uses the repulsor beam as a force field to lock out almost everyone else.  It would almost be funny if the ship wasn’t right next to a collapsing star.  Fortunately, Wesley is able to save the day.  This earns the Captain’s respect, putting him that much closer to actually getting on the bridge.

The thing that strikes me most is that the episode is such an outright copy of The Naked Time.  Of all the non-original-series episodes, this is the only one that stands out as being a blatant rip-off.  I include Voyager’s Faces in this statement.  This isn’t to say that the spin-off series never did this.  It’s just that other attempts were much better  They had some original content.  For this to be done so early in the series was a bad sign.  Yes, there was a good deal of continuity, but at what cost?

I could see this being a good episode if they had waited until the show was more established and had made some changes to the plot.  The relationship between Data and Tasha Yar would have made more sense.  I could see this even being a decent season finale with a little work.   Wesley’s device to mimic Captain Picard, for instance, was a bit stalkerish and only served as a blatant McGuffin.  You could at least put some more effort into giving Welsey his chance to strike.  Maybe have some buildup and introduce the repulsor beam a few episodes earlier.  This could have even made a good tie-in to the original series.

The episode ended up being typical of a lot of the early episodes.  You have a major catastrophe coupled with a high degree of urgency due to another possible catastrophe.  A running joke was that the holodeck would not only malfunction a lot, but might also trap a character inside when they were needed for something important.

Fortunately, this wasn’t the end of the series.  Counting the series pilot and series finale each as double episodes, we ended up with 178 over seven seasons.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t until the third season that it really started to pick up.  This isn’t to say that you’d have 45 episodes to watch after this before things got good.  There were a few high points in the first two seasons.  This just wasn’t one of them.

IMDb page

Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episodes 1 & 2 (Encounter at Farpoint)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

As a kid, I remember watching the original Star Trek series whenever I could. I had missed the original run, which ended in June of 1969. (I was born almost seven years later.) I was in elementary school when it was announced that a new series, based on Star Trek, would premiere. Here, we have the pilot episode, which is listed here as the first two episodes. You have to be careful because there are a few different varieties. This is the one released as an individual tape. From what I hear, there’s one that’s part of a set; that version has additional footage. (I have no idea what’s included with the first-season DVD set.)

The premise is simple. A new Enterprise, NCC-1701-D, has been commissioned. Captain Jean-Luc Picard is in command. His first priority is going to Farpoint Station to pick up several members of his crew, including First Officer William Riker and Chief Medical Officer Beverly Crusher. Picard is also to discuss using the technology and architects that built Farpoint to build other stations.

On the way there, they meet Q, an omnipotent being that wants to put humanity on trial. Q abducts Picard, Chief of Security Tasha Yar, Counselor Deanna Troi, Chief Science Officer Data and another crewmember and puts them in a court to stand trial. With a gun at his head, Picard pleads guilty, but asks for a chance to use the Farpoint mission to redeem humanity. Q agrees

Meanwhile, at Farpoint, Commander Riker and Dr. Crusher start noticing strange things. Riker wants an apple and one magically appears before him. Dr. Crusher is looking at fabric and it strangely acquires the pattern that she wants. It takes some investigation, but Picard figures out what’s going on. That, coupled with a few other things, is enough to satisfy Q that humanity has progressed and is worthy of venturing out into space. (If things hadn’t worked out, this would have been a very short-lived series.)

Now, pilot episodes have it hard. Most series take a while to establish themselves. The Next Generation is no exception. These two episodes are dedicated mostly to showing off the new ship and establishing the characters. Having the original series saves the writers from having to explain certain things.

However, fans of the original series might be surprised to see Worf, a Klingon who would go on to be chief of security. (In the original series, Klingons and the Federation had been adversaries.) There’s also an 80-year difference between the two series. (The original series took place in the 23rd century while The Next Generation took place in the 24th.)

Those that haven’t seen the original series might miss out on a few things, but I don’t think that it will detract from the series or these episodes too much. Very little of the original series is mentioned. There is a guest appearance by DeForest Kelly as an aged Admiral who has many traits similar to Dr. McCoy of the original series. (The writers deliberately didn’t mention him by name in the script to keep it a secret.)

The acting isn’t as good as later episodes; the actors haven’t quite gotten the feel for the characters. For that matter, neither have the writers. Troi and Data seem a little more emotional here. Riker doesn’t quite seem as serious, but that might have to do with the lack of a beard. What really stands out is the graphics. It looks like most of the graphics budget went into the saucer separation/reattachment sequences. Other things may look cheap. (The transporter effect is different in this episode than in later episodes.

There seems to be a great deal of debate as to the overall quality of this episode. I, personally, have a high tolerance for pilot episodes. This is helped by the fact that a lot of aspects are developed pretty well, either because they carry over from the original series or because the writers and creators had the time to do so. (It’s really the next several episodes that I have problems with, but I’ll save that for another review.)

I’d give this tape four stars. It’s an interesting start to a great series. I’d encourage people to watch these episodes to get used to the series. (If you are looking to rent the entire series, though, I’d recommend getting the first disc of the season one set; the next two episodes aren’t worth the money to rent individually.) 

IMDb page

The Running Man (1987)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

Most movies about the future tend to go one of two ways. You have some movies that see us as some utopian society where everyone is happy and everything is perfect, at least for the majority of people. The other way is where no one is happy and nothing is even close to being perfect, at least not for the vast majority of people. There are usually a couple of people at the ‘top’ that take advantage of everyone else. The Running Man is an example of the second movie.

It’s set in the near future with a dictatorial regime oppressing the people at any expense. The big show is called The Running Man. Felons get a chance to win freedom by competing in a game. They’re let loose in a 400-block area and ‘stalkers’ try to kill them. (If you want to know what a stalker is, think of American Gladiators on steroids. Jesse Ventura plays one.) If the ‘contestants’ win, they live as free men. If not, they die.

Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Ben Richards, a military officer who’s ordered to kill 1500 innocent civilians who are protesting. Richards disobeys a direct order and tries to abort the mission. Richards is relieved of command and sent to prison, falsely accused of actually killing them. He’s known as the Butcher of Bakersfield.

Alas, not even prison can keep Richards down. He and two friends escape. (Fans of Homicide: Life on the Street will recognize Yaphet Kotto as one of Richards’s friends.) This catches the attention of Damian Killian, host of The Running Man. (Fans of Family Feud will recognize Richard Dawson as Killian.) The Running Man’s ratings have reached a plateau. It’s the number one show, but Killian thinks that he can do better. Richards is his man.

Normally, the show isn’t allowed to use military prisoners, but Richards escaped, making him fair game. Killian manages to get him and offers Richards the option of going on the show or letting his two fellow escapees go on in his place. Richards reluctantly goes in. During the escape, he takes one Amber Mendez along to help him leave the area. (She’s living in the apartment where Richards’s brother used to live.) When she sees a TV newscast of Richards’s escape attempt, she realizes that the government is capable of twisting the truth. (Maria Conchita Alonso plays Mendez. I haven’t been able to find any other movies with her on Netflix.) Fortunately, her position within the TV network allows her access to the unaltered footage of Richards and his mission.

When Richards is put into the game, Killian also puts in the two fellow escapees anyway, just to liven things up. (Mendez is also put into the game when she’s discovered.) The four of them do pretty well. They actually kill several of the stalkers. It turns out that the game itself is rigged. I don’t want to give away the whole movie. (Those that have seen it know that I’ve already left out most of the major details.) However, bear in mind that this is a dismal view of our future. This type of movie usually winds up with an improvement, however small.

This is a very bleak, dismal future. I’d say that it’s not for kids, but a lot of the violence is shrouded in humor. The stalkers have these elaborate costumes that couldn’t possible be taken seriously. Also, as Richards is about to be put into the playing field, he turns to Killian and says, “I’ll be back.” (Sound familliar?) Members of The Running Man’s live audience get to participate by selecting the next stalker to enter the field or guessing who will make the next kill. Those who participate get The Running Man home game.

The real fun of watching a movie like this is in the details. In the prison camp, Richards is carrying an I beam. He casually throws it aside like it was Styrofoam. You’ll also notice a poster in one scene that says “The Hate Boat.” (Talk about a dismal future.) If you look very closely when Killian is looking for felons, I’m pretty sure that one of the nicknames was “Pepsi.” (I wasn’t able to catch it in rewind and I can’t seem to get the computer to play the movie at half speed. I’d appreciate it if someone would let me know if I’m right or wrong.)

The funny thing about this movie is that it came out before reality TV made it big. Granted, nothing has gone to this extreme. However, it’s not that far off.

I was able to get this movie on DVD from Netflix. The disc I got simply had the movie and a trailer. It’s nothing special. If you’re into the ease that comes with DVD, go for it, but if you’re renting it, you could just as easily get it on VHS without missing anything. 

IMDb page

The Giant Claw (1957) = Enact With Gal

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

There are a lot of really bad movies out there.  When I hear that a movie is bad, I will sometimes take it as a challenge to watch it, if only to see how bad it is.  While looking at a Web Site dedicated to bad movies, I came across The Giant Claw.

I immediately went to NetFlix to put the movie on my queue.  The movie came bundled with another movie called The Creature with the Atom Brain and had no special features.  It was just the two movies and an episode of some TV show I had never heard of.

The movie is pretty simple by today’s standards.  Mitchell MacAfee is an engineer that’s testing planes for the military.  On a test run, he spots some UFO that he describes as being the size of a battleship.  When pilots are sent out, they see nothing.  There isn’t even anything on radar and radar picks up everything.   Not only that, but one of the pilots doesn’t return.  No one believes Mr. MacAfee until a commercial plane reports seeing a similar UFO…right before they disappear.

Suddenly, every one is mobilized to fight this terror.  Several more incidents underscore the need to stop this thing, which looks like a giant version of the funny-looking, awkwardly handled marionette that it is.  (Add to that the bad special effects and you have something truly laughable.)

Nothing works on it.  Bullets bounce off of it.  Missiles explode with no effect.  The Bird From We Know Not Where continues to eat people with impunity.  Eventually, someone figures out that the bird has some sort of antimatter shielding.  You’re probably thinking back to your high-school science class and wondering if this is the same antimatter that annihilates normal matter.  Yes, it is.  However, in the movie, using antimatter as shielding apparently doesn’t cause it to explode.

Eventually, Mr. MacAfee finds a way to penetrate the shielding and bring the bird down.  He has some sort of scientific explanation that we’re just supposed to accept, even though narration states that the particle he wants to use lasts only a few moments.  Why, of course that will work!  Mr. MacAfee saves the day!

Can you tell how much I want to tear this movie apart?

First, the bird is a joke.  When we first ‘see’ the bird, it’s just a blur on the screen.  This is apparently to indicate that no one has gotten a good look at the thing.  When we do get a good look at it, you have to try to ignore the strings.  When the bird approaches a plane to eat the person, the bird gets just close enough that it starts to blur.  Then, the movie cuts to a shot of the bird chasing a really small toy to give the effect of its size.

Also, it’s pointed out in the movie that the bird never seems to land.  It’s always seen flying, even though it must rest.  An egg is found, implying that the bird must have come down long enough to lay it.  There’s no mention of a Mr. Giant Marionette Bird or of there are other eggs elsewhere in the world.  Also, MacAfee is able to destroy the egg, which means that it has no shielding.  If the bird is antimatter, wouldn’t it stand to reason that the egg is antimatter as well?

There’s also no talk of where the bird came from or if there are more.  I can let this one pass since the immediate concern should be getting rid of the one at hand.  However, consider that the nearest star to us is about four light years away.  Did the bird just fly here on its own or is there a spacecraft?  The bird seems at least someone intelligent.  It has shielding and it employs a spiral search pattern.  I doubt any species capable of coming to Earth, defending itself and showing some signs of intelligence wouldn’t bring at least a few friends with it.

There are other plot holes used to advance the story.  For instance, MacAfee and his mathematician girlfriend, Sally Caldwell, are about to leave to help deal with the bird when they hear a radio announcement.  Air travel had been suspended for a few days.  Now, road travel has been suspended except in emergencies.  They look out the window and see the bird, but decide to drive to the airport anyway.  That seems like a really smart plan.

You have to see this movie to know just how bad it is.  Do not buy or otherwise spend money on this movie.  I’ve noticed that the movie is currently sold bundled with other movies, and for a good reason.  I think most people that have seen the movie know better than to buy it.  Might as well get you to buy it with something else.  How else will the studio make money off of it? 

IMDb page

 

¡Three Amigos! (1986)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

When your town is being terrorized by a man and his cronies, where would you turn for help? Would you call the police? Call some friends? Is there a section in the phone book for stuff like that? Carmen lives in a small Mexican town being terrorized by El Guapo and his men. She’s desperately in need of help, but doesn’t know where to turn. She walks into a bar and asks for help, but gets nowhere with that. It isn’t until she walks in on a movie that she knows she’ll be saved.

The move in question stars Dusty Bottoms (played by Chevy Chase), Lucky Day (played by Steve Martin) and Ned Nederlander (played by Martin Short). Carmen sees them and doesn’t realize that they’re just characters in a silent film. She thinks that they’re real heroes, so she sends a telegram. Since she can’t afford much, “put on a show of your strength” becomes “put on show,” so The Three Amigos think that they’re being summoned to star in a show.

Since they’ve just been fired by their studio, the don’t hesitate to respond. It isn’t until one of them gets shot that they realize that El Guapo is for real. Being nothing more than actors, they cower in fear and run away. When they realize what El Guapo is capable of, they decide to stay and help. It’s not like they have anything to go back to, anyway.

All three of the characters are clueless to varying degrees. For instance, they have to find a singing bush, which will allow them to find an invisible man. When they approach a singing bush, they try to ask the bush if it’s the singing bush. Chase plays as close to a straight man as the three get with Short and Martin being a little goofier. (When a woman expresses interest in the not-so-bright one, another one asks which one she’s referring to.)

I remember the movie being a lot funnier when I was a kid, but might still stand up today. There is a part of it that seems dated, but not really having to do with factual stuff. It just seems like a product of the 80’s. I think part of it is that you don’t see comedies like this any more. If the movie had been made today, it would probably have slicker effects and totally different dialogue.

I also don’t know that it has a lot of replay value. I just rented it a few days ago and I wasn’t laughing like I used to at it. There are some movies that you can watch over and over again. This just doesn’t seem to be one of them. In my case, I think it comes from remembering too much of the story. The basic outline is so simple that you can easily remember what happened next. Even having waited 15 or 20 years between viewings, I found that there was very little that I had forgotten.

I think for someone watching it for the first time, it’s going to be funny. That’s why I’d still give it three stars. But rent it. Don’t actually buy it. See if you can get it On Demand or something. 

IMDb page

The Stuff (1985)

 Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

Standards tend to be a bit lower when you’re renting. Granted, you’re still investing the same amount of time to watch the movie, but you’re usually not paying as much and it’s easier to return a NetFlix DVD than it is to walk out on a movie. I was probably able to watch all of The Stuff for that reason. It’s not that it’s a bad movie…

It revolves around this gooey white substance called The Stuff. It’s highly addictive and has this way of rotting your mind. Someone finds it oozing out of the ground and decides that he has an instant hit. Immediately, almost everyone is eating it. It was originally sold as a snack, but people start eating it exclusively. It’s the new craze.

A few people are able to overcome the pressure. Jason is a kid whose family is taken over by The Stuff. He knows he has to stop people from eating it, but he doesn’t know how. After all, he’s just a kid. He meets up with David “Mo” Rutherford, a former federal agent who’s trying to get the formula of The Stuff. There’s also Nichole, an advertising exec that created the advertising for The Stuff. Rounding out The Stuff’s opposition is “Chocolate Chip Charlie” Hobbs, who had a good snack business until The Stuff came along. They know something’s going on, but can’t get any answers.

The story was a bit choppy at times. I don’t know if the people making the movie were trying to create a comedy or a serious horror movie. If it’s a comedy, it would explain a lot of things, like why there’s little detail about how The Stuff works or where it came from. (I guess when something eats your brains, it doesn’t really matter.) I really think the movie could have done a little more with the story.

Also, the acting was a bit stiff. Jason seemed unaffected by what happened to his family. I know that this could be shock or denial, but these are people that he lived with. He could have shown a little fear or sadness or something. He had to eat shaving cream just to get out of the house.

Some of the people in the movie went on to do other things. Michael Moriarty, who played David Rutherford, and Paul Sorvino went on to star in Law & Order. Garrett Morris, who played Chocolate Chip Charlie, has gained a reputation for having disappeared after SNL, although IMDb lists him for lots of projects. He doesn’t seem to get a lot of big parts, though.

Overall, it was a pretty decent movie. The effects weren’t much to speak of, but I’ve seen worse. I remember reading that it was supposed to be a condemnation of Big Tobacco. I’m thinking that I might not be getting something because I didn’t really understand what was going on in 1985. If I had paid $7 to see it in the theaters today, I might feel a little cheated. I think it was at least worth the NetFlix queue position. 

IMDb page

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

 

I’ve always been good at determining if I’d like a movie by the coming attractions.  I know that you can’t really judge a book by its cover, but I’m right 99.99% of the time.  While I liked Inglourious Basterds, I have to say that it wasn’t quite what I expected.

The movie starts with Colonel Hans Landa visiting a family on a dairy farm.  It’s the start of the German occupation of France and Colonel Landa is a Nazi officer looking for the one remaining Jewish family in the area.  He considers himself pretty good at what he does, as do many of the people that he’s come across.  It’s earned him the nickname The Jew Hunter.  He does find the family that he’s looking for, but allows one of them to escape.

Around the same time, American Lieutenant Aldo Raine is talking to his men.  He’s leading a group of men into France to hunt Nazis.  The group is made up of Jews, but come from all over the world.  One has even killed 13 Nazi officers before joining the group, known as the Inglourious Basterds.  The war hasn’t officially started for America, but the Basterds are going over a little early to get things rolling.

Fast forward a few years.  The woman that escaped Col. Landa is now running a theater under an assumed name, Emmanuelle Mimieux.  She’s approached by a Nazi officer, Pvt. Fredrick Zoller, who takes a liking to her.  Understandably, Ms. Mimieux doesn’t like him.  Pvt. Zoller can’t take ‘get lost’ for an answer, so he pursues her and eventually makes her an offer.  It turns out he’s a war hero that stared in a movie about the event that made him so well known.  He wants to use her theater for the premier.

She doesn’t like this at first, but talks it over with her projectionist.  Being that the projectionist is black, he doesn’t like Nazis, either.  The two decide that having so many Nazis in one place might be a good thing.  They hatch a plot to lock the group in and kill them all.

When the Basterds catch wind of the fact that the top four ranking Nazis (including Hitler) will be in attendance, they hatch a plan of their own.  With the help of a German actress/double agent named Bridget von Hammersmark, they can get in and plant explosives to take down the Nazis.

From the coming attractions, I got the impression that the movie was all about the Basterds.  The truth is that you don’t see much of them in the first half of the movie.  It isn’t until the second half that you really get to see more of them.  The movie is split between The Basterds and Mimieux.  I’m not saying that this is bad.  I can understand wanting to show Brad Pitt in the coming attractions.  It’s just that I could see a lot of people wondering if they got the right movie.

I have to warn you that the movie is more fiction than historical.  While some of the events are true, many of the events are not.  From what I can tell, there was no Bridget von Hammersmark, although she may have been based on an actual person.  (I couldn’t find anything beyond a character page in IMDb, but I’m sure I’ll get someone telling me that I’m wrong on this.)

Also, a good deal of the dialogue is subtitled.  As you might expect, much of the movie is in either French or German.  There’s even a little Italian mixed in.  Some of it is in English, but you can still expect to do a lot of reading.  The subtitles were a little small on my screen, but I do have a small screen.  I think whoever did the subtitles was expecting people to have a bigger TV set.

I’m going to have to put this in the 18+ category for the suitability for children.  This is a very violent movie.  When Landa kills the Jewish family, he does so without any sort of feeling or remorse.  He just kills them.  The Basterds do kill a lot of Nazis.  (Raine tells his men that they each owe him 100 kills and they’re expected to scalp those that they kill.)  Those that they don’t kill are given a scar and sent back to their Nazi commanders to tell them who the Basterds are.

On that topic, I did find one plot inconsistency.  Why put all of your top-ranking officials in one place?  As Landa points out, killing the top four will effectively end the war.  Doesn’t this seem too easy?  Even when the president addresses congress, at least one senator, representative or cabinet member is kept in a safe location just in case.  You’d think that at the very least, they’d have tons of security.

At 153 minutes, it’s a pretty long movie.  A little past the halfway mark, I found myself thinking, “crap… I’ve still got an hour to go?”  At least it picked up in the second half.  It took a while to set up the two main plots.   It really wasn’t that bad.  It‘s just that I thought that the movie had progressed more quickly than it really had.  I do think that the movie could have been trimmed by a few minutes in a few places, but nothing really dragged out to the point where I was waiting for that scene to be over.

Overall, I would recommend it.  I just wouldn’t recommend bringing the kids.  There will be a few uncomfortable moments. 

IMDb page

Scrabble

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

One of the problems with having a large vocabulary is that people are afraid to play Scrabble against you. You would think that knowing a lot of words would help, but it doesn’t. It’s true that knowing words and knowing how to spell them helps. However, there is some strategy involved.

First, let me explain the game. You have a set of tiles, two of which are blank. The rest have all of the letters of the alphabet with a corresponding point value. Letter distribution and point values are based largely on how often the letters occur. Q, X, and Z are rare, but are also worth more points. There’s also a board with a 15 by 15 grid, which is the playable area. You should get 4 letter racks, which is one for each player. (You’ll need at least one other player to play.) To start, each person draws one tile; the lowest letter goes first. The letters are returned to the bag (or the box, if you have an older version) and take out 7 new tiles. The first player makes a word of at least 2 letters from the 7 that he or she has drawn. Subsequent words are made off of the words that have already been played. (All words either have to be left to right or top to bottom. I’ll have more details on word placement later.) There are special bonus squares through out the board that double or triple the value of one tile or the whole word. (The score for the word is determined by adding the scores for the tiles factoring in these bonuses.) You also get a 50-point bonus for using all seven tiles. Be sure to have a dictionary handy, because you are allowed to challenge a word if you don’t think its real.

The skill comes in with word placement. You have to make a word that connects to a word that’s already in play. If the first word is ‘rat,’ I can add ‘es’ at the end to form rates. You don’t get the bonuses under the tiles that already been played, but you would get the face value for those tiles and you would score the new tiles with any bonuses that they get. You can also form a word going in another direction. If rat is horizontal, I could play ‘snow’ going down with the ‘s’ at the end of ‘rat’ so that I form ‘rats’ and ‘snow’ I’d get the face value for ‘rat’ plus the normal score for the ‘s’ plus the normal value for ‘snow.’ (If ‘s’ is on a bonus for the entire word, you’d double both ‘rats’ and ‘snow.’) When you make a word, you take tiles to replace the ones you’ve used so that you always have 7 tiles. This continues until either one person runs out of tiles or no one can think of any more words. If one person runs out of tiles, then as a bonus, they get the total score of the other players’ remaining tiles. The other players each take a loss of points equal to the value of their own tiles. If no one runs out of tiles, then each person just takes the loss of their own tiles.

This means that you want to get rid of the Q, Z, or X as quickly as possible. You should know at least a few words that have each letter, and not just at the beginning. Words like ‘acquire’ and ‘enzyme’ help in case you don’t have as much room. ‘Jazz’ is another good one because it has a Z at the end, but there’s only one Z in the set, so you’ll need a blank. You’ll also want to know a lot of really short words. In most of the games I’ve played, the tiles seem to cluster in one quadrant of the board and what few opportunities you may have might be cramped. Getting just 2 or 3 points is better than nothing. You’ll want a large vocabulary only for the flexibility that comes with it. You’ll need skill for the placement.

While the game can is for two to four players, I’d recommend three. Two takes some of the challenge out of it and four gets a bit crowded. Find friends that are similar to your own skill level. With any game, it’s never any fun if always lose by a large margin. Doing crossword puzzles will help to an extent, both in terms of vocabulary and word placement, but nothing helps like playing the game a lot. Despite the long description, I’m still leaving out a few details. You’ll figure out how to play as you go along. 

Kit Kat

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

I’ve been going through the Epinions database finding all of these candy bars that I liked in high school and college. Unfortunately, I can’t find a definitive list of what’s available on Epinions nor is there a specific category that I can go through. However, one of the candies that I found was Kit Kat.

Kit Kat is a basic enough candy bar. It’s one bar that has four wafers and is covered by chocolate. You can break off each of the chocolate-covered wafers to get four separate bars. Each bar has Kit Kat written on it, making it obvious what it is.

When it came time to make a choice from a vending machine, it was pretty rare that I’d go for a Kit Kat. The primary reason is that they look kind of small compared to other candy bars. Kit Kats are thinner and taste lighter than some other bars, mostly because of the wafers and milk chocolate. These are not things that have a presence like caramel or peanuts. I don’t quite feel like I’m getting my money’s worth if it’s priced the same as a Snickers or a Milky Way.

Another down side is that the chocolate coating melts easy, especially in the hot Miami Summers. This can be a problem if you’re between classes and want something that’s not messy. I remember having to stop in the men’s room a few times before entering class to wash my hands. For some reason, this is the only candy bar to do this.

Kit Kat isn’t so bad overall. If it’s priced a little less than the other bars or on sale, I’ll go for it. Sometimes, you don’t want a huge bar. That’s pretty rare for me, but I did eat them on a few occasions. (Mostly, it was when I was young and went trick-or-treating and was getting them for free anyway.)

In life, there are fates worse than having to eat a Kit Kat unless you happen to be allergic to one of the ingredients. If you happen upon one and can get it cheap or for free, I’d say go for it. Otherwise, you’re not missing anything. The only thing is that, being a candy bar, should not be eaten in bulk. Remember: they make better snacks than breakfasts.

Thor (2011)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

I’ve been meaning to watch The Avengers, which is based on the Marvel Comics universe.  The problem is that it draws from other Marvel-universe-inspired movies, including Thor.  It’s not that I mind watching many of these movies.  I had already seen Iron Man and probably would have watched Iron Man 2 anyway.

In Thor, the main character is Thor, Norse God of Thunder.  He’s the son of Odin, King of the Asgard.  Thor is about to receive some more power, but the Frost Giants attack Asgard to get back a relic.  (Years ago, the Asgard took said relic from the Frost Giants causing them to become mortal enemies.)  Thor drives back the unexpected attack, but wants answers.  He goes to their home planet and upsets an uneasy truce, requiring Odin to save Thor.

As punishment, Thor is banished to Earth.  His hammer, Mjolnir, is sent to Earth, as well.  Thor is found by Jane Foster, who is doing research with Erik Selvig (her mentor) and Darcy (her assistant).  The hammer attracts the attention of locals at first, then the attention of S.H.I.E.L.D., who want to figure out what it is.  Thor finds that he is stripped of his powers; he has to live on Earth as a mortal.  This isn’t easy for someone who’s as arrogant as Thor.  Of course, that’s the point.  Thor has to learn humility.

As you might expect, not all is going well on the Asgard home world.  Thor’s brother, Loki, is living up to his reputation as a troublemaker.  When Odin falls into a coma, it becomes evident that Loki is up to no good.  With Thor on Earth, there’s no one to stop Loki from doing as he pleases.

I have to admit that half of my motivation for watching this movie was because I want to eventually see the Avengers.  The other half was curiosity.  I was sort of familiar with the Marvel comics and wanted to see how they would handle it as a movie.  (Yes, this is one of those movies where someone has to learn a lesson and does so at the last possible moment.)  It’s also fun watching someone’s take on mythology.

The CGI was great.  Asgard and the Frost-Giant planet both appear to be all CGI.  (At least, the exterior shots anyway.)  The story was a little weak.  It seemed mostly like it was setting up The Avengers movie.  There were two notable references to other movies in the Marvel Universe.  At one point, Eric Selvig talks of knowing someone who was researching gamma radiation.  In another scene, a giant robot lands on Earth.  Someone asks if it’s one of Stark’s, referring to Tony Stark.

This isn’t to say that the movie’s not entertaining.  I rented it from Redbox for free using a code from Checkpoints.  I don’t know that I would have wanted to see the movie in theaters, but it was still fun to watch at home when I wasn’t paying for it.  I’d say that if it comes on one of the premium movie channels or you can get it on demand, go for it.  (Also, as with the other movies, watch after the credits.)

You don’t really have to have seen any of the previously released movies to watch this movie, nor will watching it ruin the other movies, but you may miss a few references.  It’s also not a movie for small children.  I’d say it’s good for teens and up, mostly due to some violence.  All in all, not a bad movie. 

IMDb page

Starburst Original Fruit Chew Candy 2oz

Every candy vending machine has certain items.  It's as if there's some cosmic code that these candies have to be sold.  You can almost always find M&Ms (both plain and peanut) or Milky Way.  Snickers and Three Musketeers are also very common.  One of the ones I usually see is Starburst.  I'm sure you've seen it, too.

For those that have never actually tried them, they're little box-shaped candies that are square on two sides.  The standard flavor assortment is pink (strawberry), orange (orange), yellow (lemon) and red (cherry).  Each flavor is pretty close to what it's supposed to be.  The texture is sort of waxy and the candies are pretty easy to chew.  They're a little sweet, but not too bitter.

If I recall, the 2-ounce package comes with 12 candies, three of each flavor.  The flavors alternate, making it a little more difficult to pick out one or two flavors.  Each candy is individually wrapped, which makes it easy to share them or save them for later.  (I've tried both and neither one is all that easy, considering that I like all of the flavors.)  I've never seen any particular flavor sold individually outside of bulk-candy store.

The price is comparable to any other candy of its size.  Expect to pay around 75¢ each, give or take a quarter.  I've liked for a long time.  I remember sitting in class in high school and college eating them one at a time.  Sometimes, to maximize flavor, I'd flatten them in the individual wrappers.  (It maximizes contact with the tongue.)

I've never seen another fruit chew sold in this form, at least not in vending machines or at drug stores.  As such, it has no direct competition.  The closest thing I can think of is Skittles or maybe jelly beans.  (If you think of something, please feel free to leave a comment.)  I'd recommend these to anyone with a sweet tooth.