Onward (2020)

There was a time, not long ago, that we had analog clocks.  You had to look at a round surface and do math based on two pointy things to figure out what time it was.  Now, we have digital clocks.  You just read the numbers and know what time it is.  It’s much easier.  There are those among us that would prefer not to do away with the analog clocks, though.  (I believe the technical term is Luddite.  Here’s your sundial.  Now go away.)

Ian and Barley Lightfoot are elves who live in a world once ruled by magic.  Magic was difficult to use and was limited to a select few.  When easier alternatives came along, magic slowly faded away.  Candles were easier and more accessible than lighting spells, for instance.  So, why pay someone else to try something that’s less reliable?

On Ian’s 16^th birthday, he gets a gift from his deceased father.  Wilden Lightfoot left a magical staff and gem for his sons when they got old enough.  Wilden knew that he was dying, so he wrote a spell so that he might see how his sons turned out.

Barley tries to cast the spell with no luck whatsoever.  When Ian tries, the magic happens.  In all the excitement, something happens and the spell only works halfway.  The brothers get their father from the waist down.  This leads to the brothers sharing an epic adventure in the hopes of finding a replacement gem.

Some of the movie comes across as cliché.  The brothers are polar opposites, with Barley being outgoing and boisterous and Ian being more quiet and reserved.  (Barley wants to play his historically accurate RPG while Ian just wants to eat his breakfast in peace.)

Their overprotective mother has a new boyfriend that neither one really likes.  Oh, and he’s a centaur police officer named Colt Bronco.  So, yeah.  It does go for a few corny jokes.

It’s enjoyable, even if it is somewhat formulaic.  It’s the kind of thing you could watch with your family now that everyone has to quarantine themselves, except that this was just released in theaters.  (There’s talk of making movies immediately available for streaming or download, but you might have to pay a premium for it.)

Speaking of COVID-19, this is probably going to be the last movie I see in theaters for a while.  It’s not the worst title to use a sendoff, but I had a few that I was looking forward to seeing.  AMC has shut down theaters, but it looks like they’ll pause A-List for the time being.  It looks like I may be reviewing a lot of Star Trek and B movies for a while.

IMDb page

 

Dolittle (2020)

There seem to be a lot of movies lately that are meant to test the waters.  Maybe they’re setting up a TV show.  There might be a sequel planned.  It could be that the movie is an expensive advertisements for toys or dolls.  I don’t think this movie fits into any of those categories.  I think that somewhere along the line, someone had to say to an actor, “Yeah… I know.  I know… But you have one more movie in your contract.”

The story of Dr. Dolittle is fairly well known, even if it’s on a basic level.  It’s about a doctor that can talk to animals.  In this instance, Dr. John Dolittle and his wife are given a plot of land by Queen Victoria.  The two live there and treat all manner of animals until his wife dies.

The story begins years later when Tommy Stubbins accidentally shoots a squirrel.  Polly, a rather intelligent parrot, leads Tommy to Dolittle’s property, where he meets Carmel Laniado.  Carmel has been sent by Queen Victoria to summon Dolittle, as she’s fallen ill.

Carmel and Tommy find the house in disarray.  Dolittle has given up doing much of anything since the death of his wife.  He becomes motivated again when Carmel informs him that the property reverts to the Crown upon the death of The Queen.

So, Dolittle, Tommy and several animals have to find a book that contains the location of a magical fruit that can cure The Queen.  Of course, they’ll have setbacks and save her just in time.  Of course, what else would you expect from a family-friendly story that’s been done already?

“Done already” about sums it up.  There wasn’t anything particularly new or interesting in the movie.  It was sort of like someone took a pilot episode for a TV series and decided to make into a movie without really changing the script.

There’s very little character development and what development there is comes in very small increments.  Dolittle is a recluse who sort of learns to deal with people again after being nudged in that direction.  Chee-Chee is a scared gorilla that eventually manages to find some courage at exactly the right moment.

There’s not a lot of major violence.  In fact, when the squirrel is shot, I don’t remember seeing a lot of blood.  It might have been there, but I honestly don’t recall seeing any.  There are a few tense scenes, but everyone comes out all right.  It’s about as PG as I’ve seen in recent years.

I remember someone talking about the Sears/K-Mart merger, saying that you can’t combine two mediocre companies and get a better company out of it.  You’re just going to get a larger mediocre company out of it.  I find that this is the case with this movie.

I like Robert Downey, Jr.  I like a lot of the actors who voice the animals.  Everything about the movie is adequate.  I just don’t think that there are too many inspired elements to the movie.  It’s like someone was going to great pains to hit the all the marks exactly.  Nothing spectacular.  It’s like the goal was to make the most basic adaptation possible.  This is exactly the kind of movie you might show in middle school or high school if there’s a free day and you need something rather vanilla.

IMDb page

 

The Current War: Director's Cut (2017)

I like to make the distinction that Thomas Edison was a businessman Whereas Nikola Tesla was an inventor.  Like Henry Ford, Edison didn’t really invent anything.  He just found a new way to make a light bulb.  He basically made it so that people could buy and use them.

This isn’t to say that Edison didn’t make contributions, but Tesla was the one that had more of a scientific mind and could create new things, like the coil named for him.  He was even trying to make it so that electricity could be transmitted wirelessly.  So, it’s only natural that Edison gets all the schools named for him.  Right?

When I saw the coming attractions for The Current War, I thought that Tesla might get his due.  He was featured in said trailers.  Nope.  The movie was mostly about how Westinghouse and Edison brought lights to the people.  Part of this was the power supply, which Tesla had a part in.  However, Tesla’s part in the movie was not what I had hoped.  He was shown in a few scenes, mostly being pushed out of something he was working on.

It worries me sometimes if I can’t get at least six paragraphs into a review.  I’d go into a detailed recap, but there’s not much for me to share.  The movie focuses on Edison.  He’s shown as being very petty and driven.  He’ll resort to demeaning the competition if it means getting what he wanted.

Overall, it was very bland and plain.  Having an even pace isn’t always a good thing.  Here, it makes it monotonous.  It’s like the movie got rejected by PBS, so they toned it down a little and got a theatrical release.  (I kind of feel like I forgot most of the movie once I walked out of the theater, so if I got a few details wrong, please forgive me.)

IMDb page