Masters of the Universe (1987)

I didn’t watch a lot of Saturday-morning cartoons as a kid, mostly because I liked to sleep late.  I do remember two:  Thundercats and He-Man.  I was able to rent one of the Thundercats DVDs from Netflix, but returned it after the first episode.  It didn’t really hold up that well.  Perhaps some memories are better left as memories.

A few months ago, I saw a cover for Men’s Fitness with Dolph Lundgren.  The only thing I knew him from was the live-action Masters of the Universe (He-Man) movie.  I knew that I probably wouldn’t want to bother with the series, but the movie might be worth it.  It would only be a matter of time before Netflix had it streaming.  Lo and behold, Netflix started streaming Masters of the Universe recently.  Despite a few complaints, I remembered liking the movie as a kid.  What could go wrong?

The story starts with He-Man, Duncan and Teela talking about how Castle Grayskull has been taken over by Skeletor.  His plan is to take its power and rule the universe as evil overlord.  How is this possible?  Simple:  He’s tricked Gwildor into making a Cosmic Key that can transport the user and/or friends to any point in space and time.  Skeletor can send his troops to any planet and take it over.  In the process of stopping Skeletor, He-Man, Gwildor, Duncan and Teela are transported to Earth, promptly losing the Cosmic Key.  They don’t have much time to stop Skeletor, who has sent several mercenaries to find and capture He-Man.  Yeah, that’s pretty much the plot in a nutshell.

You know how movies meant for kids now have something for adults?  (How nice that the writers thought of the people who are paying for the tickets.)  Masters of the Universe wasn’t made with that consideration in mind.  The movie was designed to sell the toy line.  This is really where my perspective has changed over the years.  The movie was great for a kid that enjoyed the cartoon and would probably sit through anything that stayed moderately true to the cartoon.

That’s really where my complaints were.  They didn’t have He-Man change from his alter ego, Adam.  They also totally left out Battle Cat and Orko.  In fact, I thought Gwindor was supposed to be a version Orko.  That much I understood.  I could see not wanting to have a floating, vaguely ghost-like character due to budget concerns.  It could also be difficult to have a talking cat in the movie or to have Adam transform into He-Man, as per the TV series.  The $17 million budget was huge for them.  The director had to fight to get a decent ending.

This is one of those movies that I would totally understand if modern audiences skipped.  My watching it was pure nostalgia.  I knew Courteney Cox and Robert Duncan McNeill were in it.  There was also Billy Barty (Noodles MacIntosh from UHF) playing Gwildor.  I also recognized James Tolkan and Frank Langella.  Still, the main draw was having watched both this and the cartoon as a child.  I honestly feel bad for any parent that was dragged to see this.

I think the big drawback was the plot.  It was very underdeveloped to the point where I think the studio was using the characters as a draw.  this came across more as a bad in joke.  There were a few lines that were delivered like you were supposed to know the back story or were a reference to the TV show.  (Think “I have the power!”)     Instead of a standalone movie, like many of today’s movies based on TV shows, it seemed like the finale to a TV show that was cancelled.  (Speaking of which, a planned sequel was scrapped due to the studio losing the movie rights.  Legend has it that the proposed script became Cyborg with Jean-Claude Van Damme.)

The story seems to rely too heavily on cliché.  How is it that as soon as Skeletor locks in on the Cosmic Key, it moves?  Why is it that when anyone finds something of great importance, they instantly assume it’s something else and immediately start playing with it?  It’s amazing that Kevin didn’t send the entire planet into an alternate dimension or something.  I’ve also noticed that the main evil guy always gets really crappy henchmen.  Here’s a guy that took over a planet no problem, but he can’t find someone to do a simple search and retrieval.

The acting was somewhat decent.  Langella was best as Skeletor.  For those that have seen the Back to the Future movies and Top Gun, Tolkan was pretty much what you’d expect as Detective Lubic.  (Is it too much to ask that he call someone a slacker?)  Most of the rest of the acting is about what you’d expect of an 80s movie based on a toy line.  I’m not saying it’s bad, but a lot of it wasn’t memorable.

One of the advantages of Netflix streaming is that I didn’t have to wait for a disc.  The downside is that I couldn’t get any features.  I might rent the disc just to be able to see some of the commentary.  (Much of the information I get is through IMDb.)  I guess nostalgia is a funny thing.

There’s supposed to be another live-action movie coming out.  I don’t know if it’s supposed to be a sequel, a remake or a reboot, but I’m not sure how I’d feel about it.  I imagine it would be similar to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot, which is also currently available streaming.  Perhaps some memories are better left as memories.

IMDb page

They Live (1988)

Note:  This is a review that I've reposted from my Epinions account.

Sometimes, a premise sounds so ridiculous that I just have to watch the movie. When I came across They Live, I realized that I had found such a movie. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper plays Nada, a construction worker who drifts into town looking for a job. On the job that he gets, he meets Frank, who’s played by Keith David. Frank leads Nada back to an area with tents that a lot of the homeless people in the area live.

When strange things start happening at a church across the street, Nada becomes curious. He finds several boxes and an elaborate chemistry setup. Frank, who’s far less curious, advises Nada to simply leave things alone. When the church and homeless area are raided, Nada finds himself in a position to do just the opposite. After everything has calmed down, Nada goes back into the church and finds the boxes, which are full of sunglasses.

I know that you’re thinking that sunglasses don’t make for an interesting plot point, but these are no ordinary sunglasses. These sunglasses allow the wearer to see the world as it really is, at least in black and white. Every sign, billboard, magazine or other printed medium bears some subliminal message. Messages range from things like “Obey” and “Submit to authority” to “Marry and reproduce”. To make matters even more interesting, there are aliens living among us.

After a knockdown, drag-out fight, Nada convinces Frank to put on the glasses. The two then manage to find the group that made them, which happens to be a rebel group fighting the aliens. The aliens plan to take over humanity by making us passive. They then use us to mine our own planet. Most of the population is unaware of what’s going on, but there are a select few that are so lulled by the good life that they can be told what’s going on. Somebody has to do something about this and Nada is the man to do it.

This is one of those movies that I probably never would have found out about without the aid of NetFlix. I don’t recall ever hearing about it when it first came out. (Then again, I was only twelve at the time.) This is one of those movies that could have done with a lot more detail. I think that it could survive as a miniseries or even a regular TV series.

Very little is said as to why the aliens are here, other than for our resources and cheap labor. The resistance group was never really built up. Even the ending left something to be desired. The only part of the movie that lasted any length of time was a fight scene between Frank and Nada. (Speaking of which, why was frank so resistant to putting on those glasses?)

Ultimately, this is a three-star movie. Nothing about the movie is spectacular, but it is entertaining for an hour and a half. I’d recommend it to people who are just looking to watch something without thinking about it too much. From what I’ve read, it was supposed to be making fun of our consumer society, but I didn’t get that so much. Yeah, there were a few plot points that seemed to beg us to wake up, so to speak, but overall, the movie just seemed like a movie.