Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

Movies based on video games tend to be a mixed bag.  Pokémon had more than a few movies come out.  Pokémon Detective Pikachu was a pretty good movie.  I’m assuming that the others performed well enough.  I remember the Super Mario Brothers movie not doing as well.  I’ve never seen it but I seem to recall hearing that it bombed hard and with just cause.

Enter Sonic the Hedgehog.  It looks like someone got the idea to dust off some old Sega cartridges and see what they could do.  Nostalgia factor?  Check.  Characters that seem to stay true to the video game?  Check.  Original plot that has nothing to do with the video game?  Check.

On the one hand, the story is pretty generic.  It fits the very definition of paint by numbers.  [Insert hero name] goes from [place] to [place].  [Hero] gets help from [soon-to-be best friend].  They have to accomplish [goal].  Along the way, they are chased by [villain].

It’s exactly the kind of movie that sets itself up for some friendly joking.  The “I have no idea” scene has all the markings of a short-lived meme.  In fact, I would suggest maybe redubbing some of Sonic’s scenes with other celebrities, much like the scenes of Darth Vader with the voice of Samuel L. Jackson.  I could very much see Jimmy Fallon having Wallace Shawn on his show for just that purpose.  (I’d say Christopher Walken, but I don’t think that would work as well as Shawn would.  Danny DeVito, maybe.)

Don’t get me wrong.  The movie is entertaining.  There aren’t a lot of great jokes.  There aren’t any unforeseen plot twists.  In fact, there were fewer plot twists than I expected.  It’s one of those movies where if you’ve seen the coming attractions, you can guess how the movie plays out.  It’s the kind of movie you can enjoy if someone else is paying for it.

IMDb page

 

Once Bitten (1985)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

Vampire movies are a mixed bag.  Some are comedies while others are dramas.  Some are even erotic or pornographic.  The vampires tend to be very similar, but will often have the same attributes, such as intolerance of sunlight, immortality, and dislike of crosses and/or garlic.

Mark, played by Jim Carrey, is an average teenager.  He has no concept of vampires.  He goes to school, has a girlfriend and sells ice cream out of an ice-cream truck to make money.  He’s a bit frustrated in that he can’t seem to get it on with said girlfriend.  (It doesn’t help that his primary mode of transportation is the ice-cream truck.)  His two friends decide to help him out with this.

They take Mark to a bar hoping that he’ll hook up with someone.  (It’s Mark’s hope that having sex will take some of the pressure off.)  The bar they choose operates on a fairly simple idea.  Each table has a phone and a very visible number.  If you see someone you like, you pick up your phone and dial the number of the table you want.  When Mark’s table gets a call, he jumps into action.

The woman interested in him is known simply as Countess.  (She’s played by Lauren Hutton.)  Unbeknownst to Mark, Countess has to drink the blood of a virgin three times by Halloween in order to stay young and beautiful.  Yes, there are places where virgins are plentiful, but she prefers to live in a big city.  She may not have a lot of virgins to choose from, but she at least has Mark.

They go back to her place while Mark’s friends get arrested.  He gets a little drunk and passes out while Countess does what she has to do.  When he wakes up the next morning, he goes home.  He doesn’t remember much, which sort of defeats the entire purpose of going to the bar in the first place.  It must have been pretty good, though, because Countess is following him around, hoping for her second “transfusion”.

Mark is really worried now.  Not only does his girlfriend find out, but he notices that he’s changing.  He has increased sensitivity to sunlight, starts sleeping in his footlocker and is developing one of those famous vampire tans.  He starts to become paranoid when he scares two small children.  (He also gets lots of attention at a school dance for his great vampire costume, despite insisting that he didn’t get dressed up at all.)

Since it’s a comedy, I think you can assume that everything works out for Mark.  (Don’t worry.  I won’t spoil the ending.)  The movie can also get away with a few things that I would complain about otherwise.  I’ve never understood why vampires don’t reflect in mirrors.  I realize that here, the movie needs a simple way for Mark and his girlfriend to realize that he’s turning.  But I’ve always wondered.  We can see vampires, which means that they project an image.  Why doesn’t that image reflect in a mirror?  (Most movies at least show the clothes while the person disappears.  Here, both Mark and his costume disappear in the mirror.)

The movie is fairly goofy.  There weren’t many scenes where I was laughing, but it was silly at points.  There’s very little nudity, so don’t rent thinking you’ll see something.  Yes, Lauren Hutton is seen wearing revealing clothing.  The only thing that the broadcast networks would potentially find objectionable is a seminude picture of her character hanging on the wall in her place.

There’s also very little violence or gore.  There are a few gross-out scenes.  In one, Mark drinks the runoff from some ground beef.  (I’d imagine that it’s fruit punch or something.)  In another, he asks for a raw hamburger patty for lunch when his normal preference is to have his burger make charcoal briquettes look rare.  Other scenes aren’t much worse than that.

The story isn’t anything new.  We’ve seen vampires preying on people to get a fix of fresh blood.  I’ve never understood, though, why midnight sometimes plays an important role.  Countess has been around for 400 years, long before accurate timekeeping was invented.  Why is it that she has to drink blood by the stroke of midnight?  What happens if her watch is a little off?  (Ever notice that everybody’s watch is always set to the correct time?)

It’s one of those average movies.  It’s not horrible, but I’m glad that I didn’t spend any money renting it.  Instead, I recorded it off of a movie channel.  That’s kind of a problem with vampire movies.  There really isn’t much that this movie adds to the mythology.  If the comes on, I guess there are worse ways you could spend the time.  There are also better ways.


IMDb page

Bruce Almighty (2003)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

 

 

Bruce Nolan is an ordinary guy. That’s the problem, though. Bruce feels that he’s stuck doing the human-interest fluff stories on Channel 7 while rival newscaster Evan Baxter gets all of the hard-hitting, important stories. Bruce gets stories on the city’s biggest cookie while Nolan gets stuff about health hazards. Bruce desperately wants a shot at the big time, but he’s just not cut out for it.

True to comedic films, Bruce has a really bad day. After flipping out on live TV, he’s fired. Then, he tries to protect a homeless guy, but gets beaten up over it. Then, he gets in a fight with his girlfriend, Grace, played by Jennifer Aniston. Plus, the dog keeps urinating on the furniture. To top it off, he gets in an accident that night. Finally, he has it out with God. Why would such a kind and merciful God pick on poor, poor, pitiful Bruce? Why does he have to suffer so much?

That’s when he gets paged. After several attempts, Bruce finally calls the number. He gets a recording. (The recording is actually specific enough to ask if his name is Bruce.) He goes to an address that turns out to be an abandoned building, but he goes in anyway. The outside is old and dingy, but the inside is pure white. There, he finds the janitor mopping. Bruce is directed to Room 7, which happens to be on the seventh floor. (The elevator’s broken, so he has to walk.) Upstairs, he finds the janitor fixing a bulb. Bruce doesn’t like having to walk up the stairs, but he lets it pass. He asks for the boss, which happens to be the janitor. (The janitor is Morgan Freeman; it turns out that God does all of His own work.)

It takes a few minutes for Bruce to accept who he’s dealing with. When he does, God makes a proposal. Since Bruce thinks that God’s not doing a good job, He’ll take a vacation and leave Bruce with all of His powers for a few weeks. (Hence the name of the movie.) There are two rules, though. Bruce can’t claim to be god and he can’t affect free will. (The first rule is more of a warning to avoid that kind of attention; the second is hard and fast.) Bruce accepts and starts by fixing his own problems. For starters, he gets revenge on the gang that beat him up. Then, he gets in good with his girlfriend and eventually embarrasses Evan into quitting.

After a little prodding from God, Bruce starts thinking about others. He hears voices, which turn out to be prayers. Not wanting to go crazy, he sets up a computer to be Prayer Central. Instead of reviewing each prayer, Bruce finds it easier just to say yes to everyone. This leads to problems. Everyone wins the lottery, but each winning ticket is worth $17. Riots ensue and the power grid loses stability. Also, Bruce’s newfound fame leads to other kinds of attention, thus leading him to break up with Grace. Bruce has to figure out how to get her back without affecting free will. In the end, all works out well. I won’t say exactly how, but Bruce learns his lesson.

What I will say is that the message isn’t overt. The movie doesn’t shove proverbs down your throat or try to make you believe. It’s more about Bruce and what he has to learn about himself. Carrey has it toned down a little bit. He plays the role more like The Truman Show than Ace Ventura. He does have a lot of goofy scenes, though.

As I mentioned in this review’s title, Bruce is in the details. Look for details. Some are obvious, as is the case with the Parting of the Soup. Some are subtler. When Channel 7 throws a party for Bruce, notice what’s in the container that Bruce is carrying. Pay special attention to it and what he’s pouring for the people.

Jim Carrey was the perfect actor for the part of Bruce and Morgan Freeman was perfectly cast as God. Morgan Freeman plays the role with all of the seriousness and dignity you’d expect from God whereas Jim Carrey is just this goofball that wants to do things his way.

Carrey also has Jennifer Aniston to play off of. Bruce can’t see past his own career whereas Grace wants a family and a happy life with the man of her dreams. The more Bruce tries to pull her his way, the more she resists.

Then, there’s Evan. Even is all that a serious reporter is supposed to be. Bruce is always the other guy. He’s the one you turn to with a story the city’s biggest cookie. Bruce is exactly where he’s supposed to be. He just doesn’t realize it. All of Bruce’s selfish acts have dire consequences. Even his altruistic ones have dire consequences. Bruce doesn’t realize that there’s a delicate balance to everything.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.


I remember seeing this movie around the time that it first came out.  I was still in high school at the time and Jim Carrey was still known primarily for starring in In Living Color.  The movie ended up being perfect for Carrey to star in.

Ace Ventura is, as you might expect, a pet detective.  If a beloved animal companion has gone missing, Ace is the perfect person to call.  The movie opens with him kicking a package down a street accompanied by the sound of glass breaking.  He’s posing as a delivery driver to get into the apartment of a man with a small dog.  (We’re left to assume that the dog doesn’t belong with this man, but we’re not given the details.)  Ace gets the dog, but doesn’t get to his car before the man notices the switch, so Ace has to make a hasty escape.

He makes a living off of that kind of small case, but is still struggling to make ends meet.  That’s when he gets a big case.  Snowflake, a trained dolphin who happens to be the mascot of the Miami Dolphins, goes missing a few days before the Super Bowl.  Ace is called in to help find said dolphin so that there will be a halftime show.

As you might expect with a comedy, there’s one clue that the main character can work with.  In this case, a small gem is found in Snowflake’s tank.  With the help of Melissa Robison, played by Courteney Cox, he learns that it came from a specific Super Bowl ring.  After going through all of that year’s players, he learns that there is one more person:  Ray Finkel.  Ace know that this is their man, but he’s a hard man to find.  Find Ray and he finds Snowflake.

I haven’t really had much of an urge to watch this over the past few years.  If it comes on TV, I’ll watch a few minutes of it, but I haven’t even seen it on TV recently.  The reason is that most of the humor seems geared towards teenagers.  For instance, there’s a sequence where Ace is going around checking the players’ rings.  He provokes one player into flipping him the finger so that he gets a good view of the ring.  He checks out another at a urinal with unintended consequences.  He also manages to get one to punch him in the forehead so that he can look at the impression on his forehead.

I remember liking the movie when it first came out, but I don’t think I’d be able to say the same thing now.  Carrey’s acting in this movie is very similar to the way he acted in In Living Color.  It was a very high-energy performance with him often speaking at higher-than-average volumes and often taking on wacky personas to look around.  It gets old kind of quick.

If you haven’t seen it yet, it may be worth watching depending on your sense of humor, but I’d recommend renting it rather than buying it.  It’s one of those movies that I think has little replay value.  It was interesting seeing Dan Marino and Don Shula appear as themselves.  (Don Shula made a cameo, but Dan Marino had a few lines.)  It’s interesting mostly to see how far Carrey has come when you compare it to some of his current movies, like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or The Number 23.
 

 

IMDb page