Showing posts with label Jesse Ventura. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesse Ventura. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 09, 2016

The Running Man (1987)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.


Most movies about the future tend to go one of two ways. You have some movies that see us as some utopian society where everyone is happy and everything is perfect, at least for the majority of people. The other way is where no one is happy and nothing is even close to being perfect, at least not for the vast majority of people. There are usually a couple of people at the ‘top’ that take advantage of everyone else. The Running Man is an example of the second movie.

It’s set in the near future with a dictatorial regime oppressing the people at any expense. The big show is called The Running Man. Felons get a chance to win freedom by competing in a game. They’re let loose in a 400-block area and ‘stalkers’ try to kill them. (If you want to know what a stalker is, think of American Gladiators on steroids. Jesse Ventura plays one.) If the ‘contestants’ win, they live as free men. If not, they die.

Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Ben Richards, a military officer who’s ordered to kill 1500 innocent civilians who are protesting. Richards disobeys a direct order and tries to abort the mission. Richards is relieved of command and sent to prison, falsely accused of actually killing them. He’s known as the Butcher of Bakersfield.

Alas, not even prison can keep Richards down. He and two friends escape. (Fans of Homicide: Life on the Street will recognize Yaphet Kotto as one of Richards’s friends.) This catches the attention of Damian Killian, host of The Running Man. (Fans of Family Feud will recognize Richard Dawson as Killian.) The Running Man’s ratings have reached a plateau. It’s the number one show, but Killian thinks that he can do better. Richards is his man.

Normally, the show isn’t allowed to use military prisoners, but Richards escaped, making him fair game. Killian manages to get him and offers Richards the option of going on the show or letting his two fellow escapees go on in his place. Richards reluctantly goes in. During the escape, he takes one Amber Mendez along to help him leave the area. (She’s living in the apartment where Richards’s brother used to live.) When she sees a TV newscast of Richards’s escape attempt, she realizes that the government is capable of twisting the truth. (Maria Conchita Alonso plays Mendez. I haven’t been able to find any other movies with her on Netflix.) Fortunately, her position within the TV network allows her access to the unaltered footage of Richards and his mission.

When Richards is put into the game, Killian also puts in the two fellow escapees anyway, just to liven things up. (Mendez is also put into the game when she’s discovered.) The four of them do pretty well. They actually kill several of the stalkers. It turns out that the game itself is rigged. I don’t want to give away the whole movie. (Those that have seen it know that I’ve already left out most of the major details.) However, bear in mind that this is a dismal view of our future. This type of movie usually winds up with an improvement, however small.

This is a very bleak, dismal future. I’d say that it’s not for kids, but a lot of the violence is shrouded in humor. The stalkers have these elaborate costumes that couldn’t possible be taken seriously. Also, as Richards is about to be put into the playing field, he turns to Killian and says, “I’ll be back.” (Sound familliar?) Members of The Running Man’s live audience get to participate by selecting the next stalker to enter the field or guessing who will make the next kill. Those who participate get The Running Man home game.

The real fun of watching a movie like this is in the details. In the prison camp, Richards is carrying an I beam. He casually throws it aside like it was Styrofoam. You’ll also notice a poster in one scene that says “The Hate Boat.” (Talk about a dismal future.) If you look very closely when Killian is looking for felons, I’m pretty sure that one of the nicknames was “Pepsi.” (I wasn’t able to catch it in rewind and I can’t seem to get the computer to play the movie at half speed. I’d appreciate it if someone would let me know if I’m right or wrong.)

The funny thing about this movie is that it came out before reality TV made it big. Granted, nothing has gone to this extreme. However, it’s not that far off.

I was able to get this movie on DVD from Netflix. The disc I got simply had the movie and a trailer. It’s nothing special. If you’re into the ease that comes with DVD, go for it, but if you’re renting it, you could just as easily get it on VHS without missing anything. 


Tuesday, August 05, 2014

Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.


WARNING:   I’m giving away the entire plot, but with this movie, that doesn’t say much.


I saw this title on Netflix when looking for new movies to watch. (After watching The Running Man, I was looking for other movies that Jesse Ventura had been in.) Before renting the movie, I took a look on Epinions. There were two other reviews on it. Both reviewers gave the film one star, mentioning that the film had very few redeeming qualities. The movie was suddenly elevated to bad-accident status. I know I shouldn’t have gotten it, but I just couldn’t look away. Both of the previous reviews were accurate.

Ventura plays this alien police officer named Abraxas. He’s a ‘finder’ who’s after a renegade finder named Secundus, who’s on Earth to find someone to impregnate. If successful in impregnating a woman, the woman will bear a child that bears the formula for anti-life or something like that. This will give Secundus immortality and unlimited power, which he almost has as a finder. (Apparently, almost isn’t good enough.)

Secundus finds Sonia, who’s played by Marjorie Bransfield. He puts his hand on her, his hand glows, and she’s giving birth five minutes later. Not only can she do this with her clothes on, I don’t recall seeing any blood or other liquids or anything. (I think something like that would be obvious since it’s snowing.) Also, she’s able to get up and walk to her parents’ house. Secundus is transported away and imprisoned. Abraxas is supposed to kill Sonia, but can’t bring himself to do it. He goes on to his next assignment and Sonia and child attempt to go about their business.

No one believes Sonia’s story. Her parents disown her and it’s difficult for Sonia to get a birth certificate for her son, who she names Tommy. Things get more difficult since Tommy is deliberately mute. In every other respect, he seems like a normal human. (With all of the tests, it’s surprising that no genetic anomalies were found, especially considering that on a genetic level, Secundus’s blood shows up as non-human.) It’s getting close to Tommy’s sixth birthday and as far as anyone can tell, he’s a normal child that just won’t talk.

To make matters worse, Tommy’s being bullied at school. The principal, played by Jim Belushi, would rather kick Tommy out of school than deal with the bullies. He says that his school is a normal school for normal children. When Sonia suggests punishing the bullies, the principal has an “oh, yeah; I’ll try that” kind of attitude. His acting is so bad in this, I can’t tell if it was meant to be sarcastic or if the principal really hadn’t thought of that. It almost seems like Belushi had been brought in five minutes before the scene and barely had the time to learn his lines.

About that time, Secundus breaks out of prison and returns to Earth to find his son and extract the secret to anti-life. Abraxas is sent after him to prevent him from finding Tommy. Both land on Earth with no weapons. They just have their clothes and these computerized assistants called answer boxes that seem to know everything. (The also serve as a communication link to Finder Central Command.) Somehow, Secundus knows just what he needs to know. He steals a car and magically knows how to drive it. He also knows where to go to look up Tommy and Sonia and actually knows how to use the computer and what their names are. When he gets the information, he doesn’t need to get directions. However, he doesn’t know how to order from a menu and he doesn’t know what a stripper is.

Abraxas is apparently much more successful in finding Tommy and Sonia and is able to protect them. Abraxas is constantly prodded by central command to kill the child, but Abraxas decides not to, citing that the child isn’t the problem. It’s Secundus that has to be dealt with. Eventually, after a cat-and-mouse game, Secundus catches up with Tommy and starts going through this elaborate routine to get Tommy to cough up the anti-life formula. Fortunately, Abraxas is able to stop Secundus in time. Everyone lives happily ever after.

Like I said, I’m not giving away much. The writing is the worst and the acting is almost as bad. Bransfield and Ventura were the only two notable major actors. The special effects are mostly cheap. The pyrotechnics are similar to the Highlander series. The rest of the movie is part Superman, part Terminator and part Top  Secret! in a b-movie kind of way. It’s incredibly corny. For instance, Abraxas will be 11,861 years old “next Tuesday.” (It always amazes me that aliens can convert to Earth years so quickly.)

The DVD has the movie and some notes, but the notes aren’t really that notable. It’s just some stuff about Jesse Ventura. Had it not been for Netflix, I wouldn’t have gotten this movie. If you catch it late one night on TV, it might be enough to compel you to go back to bed. Otherwise, don’t bother.