Transylvania 6-5000 (1985)

 It seems that most movies are either timeless or fated to oblivion.  Movies like Back to the Future or The Princess Bride can be watched by anyone, even if they weren’t children of the 1980s.  Others seem to fall by the wayside the instant they’re out of theaters, never to be heard of again.

That’s kind of surprising in the case of Transylvania 6-5000.  There are a lot of big names in the movie, including Ed Begley Jr., Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis.  But it’s not a movie that I hear referenced a lot in conversation or in other movies.  (True, it’s not a particularly great movie.  But still…)

The movie starts with two tabloid reporters being sent to Transylvania in search of Frankenstein’s Monster.  Jack Harrison is the more respectable of the two.  He has aspirations of writing for a real publication, like Time Magazine.  Gil Turner is more of the lackey type.  It doesn’t hurt that his father, Mac Turner, runs the tabloid.  Mac got a videotape with some bad footage, which means that there has to be a story there.  So, he sends his two reporters to get said story…or get lost.

Things don’t look to promising once in town.  Any mention of the monster or footage is met with ridicule.  Add to this that the immediate area is basically a fledgling tourist town.  Mayor Lepescu doesn’t want any bad publicity, especially considering that he’s about to open his own hotel.

There are things going on in town and it might seem sinister at first, but everything has an explanation.  Jack and Gil do find the person assumed to be Frankenstein’s Monster, but there is a perfectly normal explanation.  The same goes for a werewolf, a swamp monster and a vampire.  Jack and Gil basically get their story, although it’s not the one Mac wanted.

I have to warn you that if you do see this, and I advise against it at this point, the replay value is going to be as close to zero as you can get.  Much of the humor is slapstick.  Consider that Michael Richards is in the movie as an overbearing butler who’s way too helpful.  He has all sorts of ideas that only serve to impede Gil and Jack.

It’s also not particularly complicated.  I think the movie is supposed to take place in Transylvania, but the movie’s title comes from the hotel’s phone number, which is rendered in the format of the exchange having a name, like Klondike for 55, so the hotel’s phone number would be 876-5000.  I would think that European countries would have had a different format.

I’m not even sure what prompted me to get the movie on DVD.  I guess I needed something a little different.  As I said, it’s not a great movie, but it’s not known for being horrible, either.  It’s the kind of thing that a broadcast network might have shown one Saturday afternoon.

I could see this being the format for an X-Files light show.  Each of the monsters get a back story, but none of it is particularly scary.  In fact, the only thing that might be objectionable for small children is that Geena Davis’s character is fairly forward, sexually.  At the very least, the movie does have a nice message of acceptance.  However, it wasn’t worth the buildup.  It was a hard movie to watch.  Maybe it was funny back then, but I’d recommend skipping it now.

IMDb page

 

Ed Wood (1994)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

If you’ve been reading my recent reviews, you know that I’ve been looking for really bad movies to watch.  One name that keeps popping up is Ed Wood, the director of Glen or Glenda and Plan 9 From Outer Space.  While people do recognize the names of his movies, the name of the director isn’t as well known.  Still, Edward D. Wood, Jr. gained such notoriety for being so bad that a movie was produced about him and his work.

Johnny Depp stars as the title character.  The movie starts with Wood working at a movie studio when a producer comes across a script.  Wood wants to direct it, but can’t as the rights were acquired by another studio.  So, Wood writes his own, semi-autobiographical version which goes on to become Glen or Glenda.  Despite having Bela Lugosi in it, the movie tanks and it tanks hard.  The producer calls to let Wood know that if he ever decides to set foot on studio property, Wood should first make out his last will and testament.

Wood goes on undeterred.  He has to struggle for funding and apparently would often do shots in one take regardless of how they came out.  He makes several other movies with Lugosi, including Bride of the Monster.  They all meet with very bad reviews.

The movie closes shortly after Wood finished making Plan 9 From Outer Space.  He has a Baptist Church backing him on this film, which does cause some tension.  They want to make major changes to the script and don’t really like that Wood wants to direct wearing women’s clothes.  A chance meeting with his idol gives Wood the inspiration to finish the movie.

The movie is a pretty straightforward account of Wood’s life.  It covered his best-known movies, although IMDb lists a lot more movies during that time frame.  Wood was apparently a very prolific director.  He was a man that wouldn’t take no for an answer, even if the answer was well justified.  Wood kept doing what he loved.  (As the saying goes, it doesn’t matter how many times you get knocked down; it matters how many times you get back up.)

The directing was great.  I’ve come to like a lot of Tim Burton’s movies, but this one was a little different.  As I said, it was very straightforward.  It’s not at all like Mars Attacks! or Edward Scissorhands.  Having the film shot in black and white was definitely a plus for the movie.

I also liked the acting.  Martin Landau was great as Lugosi.  Bill Murray was also great in his role.  I even enjoyed Sarah Jessica Parker.  This was one of her few roles where I didn’t find her to be over the top.  (She’s usually just a little too outgoing in most of her roles.)

Ed Wood is one of those movies that just comes together to work perfectly.  It’s a great movie about a director that was known for his horrible movies.  I find it strange, though, that his name isn’t better known.  At least his movies will live on.  I plan on watching Plan 9 From Outer Space and Glen or Glenda.  I have to wonder if I’ll want to see more of his movies after that or if I’ll be done with watching bad movies. 

IMDb page

Howard the Duck (1986)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

Shortly after digital cable was installed in my house last week, I began flipping through the free On Demand stuff. I found Howard the Duck. Now, some movies I see because I want to. Others, I see because others lock me in a room and force me to watch them. Then, there are movies that I just end up watching. Howard the duck is part of the third category. I had seen the movie many, many years ago and vaguely recalled the plot details. I sort of remember liking the movie overall, but disliking a few parts. I decided to give it a second shot, mostly because, as I said, it was free.

The movie is about an evolved duck named, of all things, Howard T. Duck. He lives in Marshington, D.C., on a planet remarkably like Earth. He has an apartment, likes cigars and reads Playduck. Just as he’s settling in for the night, he apartment begins to rattle. He’s ripped out of his building and across the galaxy to our planet. He lands in the middle of Cleveland only to find two guys harassing a woman. As any gentleman would do, Howard steps in and uses his massive Quack Fu skills to save the day.

Grateful, the woman takes him in. She’s the lead singer of a band called the Cherry Bombs and goes by Beverly Switzler. (For those that think she looks a bit familiar, she’s played by Lea Thompson.) Howard tells her of his plight and, despite wanting to go home, knows he’ll have to blend in until he can figure out how he can do that. The thing is that she knows someone who actually knows the guy responsible for bringing Howard to Earth.

Doctor Walter Jenning is more than happy to send Howard back. There’s just one slight problem. Before Howard can get to the lab, there’s a slight accident in which Dr. Jenning is taken over by an Evil Overlord From the Edge of the Universe. The Evil Overlord From the Edge of the Universe is intent on bringing his Evil Overlord friends to rule Earth and they need human hosts to survive in our environment. Howard must stop the possessed Jenning from allowing Evil Overlords to possess Beverly.

Now, Howard the Duck wasn’t a bad movie. It just had a few issues. The one thing kept bothering me about the movie was the obvious duck puns, such as the aforementioned Marshington. The movie doesn’t rely on it, but does occasionally beat you over the head with it. There’s even some duck nudity that might be hard to explain to a small child.

Another thing that kept bothering me was how everyone was scared of Howard. I’m sorry, but a duck just isn’t that scary. He’s three feet tall and talks. Big deal. Get used to it. He’s going to be around for a while. There are a few passersby that don’t take him seriously. This, I can understand. This would even be my reaction. You see something like Howard and think it’s a guy in a duck costume. (Yes, I know. It is actually several guys taking turns in a duck costume, but you get my point.)

The movie was based on some comics done by Steve Gerber. I’ve never seen the comics, but I’d like to look into them. I don’t think the movie was translated that well. It’s not the acting, exactly, nor is it the fact that the movie is dated. I don’t think it did that well in its own time. I think it’s just that the movie didn’t seem to take itself seriously enough to be a serious contender as a movie.

For instance, none of the science is really explained. You’re basically told that there’s this big ray gun that can suck people off of far-distant planets for no good reason and can even send them back. It can also suck Evil Overlords From the Edge of the Universe and put them inside of a person. You just have to accept this. There’s nothing about transdimensional rifts or space-time anomalies.

It is an interesting story, which opens with a narrator saying that given an infinite universe, an infinite variety of planets exist. Had the movie been done well, I could have seen it being made into a TV show or at least spawning a few sequels. The trouble is that it’s kind of hard to take the duck costume that seriously. It looks unrealistic to the point of being distracting.

Overall, the movie is decent if you don’t take it that seriously. I can’t give it more than three stars, though.

IMDb page

Official Site (Lucasfilm)

Marvel Site