Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)

I’d like to think I’ve been pretty lucky with sequels in recent years.  Many have been good.  It really hasn’t been since Home Alone that a sequel basically repeated itself so blatantly.

I’m not really sure what I was expecting with Jumanji:  The Next Level.  When Welcome to the Jungle was made, it made the leap from board game to video game and even had new characters.  The Next Level has Fridge, Bethany, Martha and Spencer back that same video game.  The only new additions are Grandpa Eddie and his former business partner, Milo.

Even if you haven’t seen Welcome to the Jungle, you can see many of the jokes coming, at least from the coming attractions.  Eddie and Milo get to play to the elderly stereotypes.  They don’t really understand how a video game works.  They are happy that they can move without stiffness.  Other than that, they mostly serve to rehash the rules for new viewers.

Here’s my issue, though.  Even with Zathura, it was a new board game and a new setting with new characters.  From Jumanji to Welcome to the Jungle was the same thing.  Newness all around.  This seems like what Home Alone 2 was to Home Alone, in that it’s a thinly veiled rehash of the previous movie.  The Next Level didn’t really do much to contribute to the franchise.

Granted, I’m not sure where you can go with it.  Virtual Reality might seem too literal.  Even the Internet might not be different enough.  At best, one might hope for some hints as to where the games came from, but it’s hard to do so without giving away too much.

I think people that have seen the previous installment will be disappointed with this one.  I’m not saying that there shouldn’t be a Jumanji: Welcome to the Next Sequel.  I’m just suggesting that, if there is, the writers might want to take a hard look at what the script is doing with the material.  It’s an interesting premise, but it’s getting difficult to really work with it from here on out.

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Jumanji (1995)

Robin Williams always had a childlike energy that made him perfect for that overly outgoing character that just never grew up.  In Jumanji, he plays the adult version of a child trapped in a board game for 25 years.  One might be forgiven for thinking the part was written for him.  However, the movie is based on a book.  I would think that Williams would at least have been the first choice for the part.  But, I’m getting ahead of myself.

The movie starts in 1869.  To people are seen burying the titular board game, hoping that no one ever digs it up.  Heaven help whoever does find the game.  That’s how sinister it is.  Cut to 1969 and a young Alan Parrish happens upon the box containing the board game and convinces his friend, Sarah Whittle, to play.  Each move brings about some odd and dangerous event, like bats descending on Sarah.

A few moves in, Alan becomes trapped in the game.  This leads to years of therapy for Sarah.  Alan’s father spends the family fortune trying to find Alan, since no one believes Sarah.  The house is eventually sold to Nora Shepherd, who moves in with her niece and nephew, Judy and Peter.  The two kids find Jumanji in the attic and continue the game, miraculously freeing Alan from the game.

The entire time, Alan was trapped in a jungle.  He’s now an adult (played by Williams, of course) and wants nothing more than to go back to his old life.  Unfortunately, his parents are dead and he has to finish the game, which means finding a now-adult Sarah.  As you might imagine, she’s not eager, but she relents.

Each move made brings another disastrous event, like a stampede or a flood.  The house is all but destroyed, but there’s the promise that it will all return to normal at the completion of the game.  Once the game is completed, Sarah and Alan find themselves back in 1969 as if nothing had ever happened.  They’ll have to wait 26 years for Judy and Peter to be born.  And, of course, they won’t remember anything.

The movie is all mania and no real substance.  My first thought is that it’s odd how sadistic the game is.  How would such a thing come into existence?  If someone created it, how and why?  What purpose does it serve to put people through that?

In the end, it doesn’t seem like anything was learned.  Alan and Sarah grow up to be regular adults with regular lives.  The Parrish shoe factory is still in business.  It’s kind of sad that Alan and Sarah can’t talk about the ordeal with the kids, or anyone else for that matter.  They just have to hide the game and hope no one unleashes the terror again.

It’s also a fairly scary movie.  It’s too childish for most adults, but it’s way too vivid for younger audiences.  Teenagers would be able to handle it, but that age group seems a bit too advanced for a movie like this.  As I said, it seems more like a vehicle for Williams.  (From what I’ve read in IMDb, he had to be told to hold back on the improvisation so as not to throw off the story.)

It’s an entertaining movie, but not a great movie.  Part of the problem is that it tries to do too many things without doing any of them well.  The aunt is away from the children for most of the movie.  The action is silly as many of the animals look fake.  It comes across as an action movie for children as written by someone who had never seen an action movie or an actual child. 

I would love to have been in the meeting to pitch this movie.  So, you have this board game that traps a kid in a jungle and makes another one go crazy.  It throws wild animals at them, although no one really gets hurt.  I mean, everything goes back to normal at the end of the game, so none of it really matters.  But we got Robin Williams to star in it!  That should tell you if it’s a movie you’d want to see.

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Star Trek: The Next Generation - Episode 89 (First Contact)

Note:  This review was originally posted to my Epinions account.

Starfleet, while ostensibly military, is ultimately motivated to explore space and meet new civilizations.  Some of those civilizations aren’t yet aware that they’re not alone in the universe.  They’re just creating warp drive to start exploring their own immediate neighborhood.  Normally, the Federation sends in people to covertly observe the culture.  You can learn only so much from radio transmissions and remote sensors.  Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem except that Commander Riker is caught in a riot and hospitalized.

It doesn’t take long for the Malcorians to figure out that Riker is a little different.  The prosthetics are meant to fool only at a distance; closer inspection reveals what they really are.  His organs aren’t where a Malcorian would expect them to be, either.  The doctors agree not to say anything until they can figure out who and what their patient is.  When Riker awakens, he gives a fake name and bio, which don’t check out, of course.  (You’d think by the 24th century, we’d have mastered doctoring an identity, or at least identity theft for covert purposes.)

Meanwhile, Captain Picard is looking for his missing officer, who was only there to check in on their operatives.  Since Riker lost his combadge, there’s no way of locating him or getting a message to him.  (This confused me, as the Enterprise’s sensors should be able to differentiate Malcorian from non-Malcorian life signs.  I don’t imagine that there are too many human males on the planet.)

This necessitates premature first contact.  Picard first contacts Science Minister Marista Yale, who he figures will be more receptive to aliens.  She agrees, as their security minister, Krola, is her philosophical opposite on the matter.  After meeting with their leader, Chancellor Durken, Picard is able to smooth things over, but finding Riker isn‘t going to be easy.

There are a lot of hospitals in the area where Riker was last seen and Yale doesn‘t think it would be a good idea to tell Durken for fear that Krola will find Riker first.  Eventually, Riker is located and he’s treated to a last-minute save.  It’s ultimately decided that the Malcorians should wait until they’re ready.  Their culture hasn’t caught up to their science and there are too many people like Krola for them to be venturing that far out just yet.  Yale does ask Picard to take her with them.  Durken tells Picard that she won’t be happy, as he’ll have to put restrictions on her.  Picard agrees and has quarters assigned to her.  This is, of course, the last we see of her.

I don’t know why I don’t remember two first-contact stories back to back.  Yes, they ended differently, but it’s odd how The Next Generation did this.  You might have five or six family episodes in a row.  You might have a few episodes centered around technology gone bad.  I even noticed six consecutive episodes in the third season that started with “the” in the title.  (Three of the five before that streak also fit the pattern.)

Overall, it was a good episode with a few minor points.  It’s always been a peeve of mine when an alien planet simply has directional continents.  I know we have places like North Dakota and West Virginia.  However, Malcor III has, simply, The Southern Continent.  What are the odds of an alien culture even having the same concept of direction as us?  I wonder if the writers ever get too lazy to come up with names.  Have you noticed how many characters are named after something?  (Sometimes, they at least spell it backwards.  Notice that this episode has a character named Dr. Nilrem.)

Another thing that got me was the 29-hour days.  Hours themselves tend to be arbitrary.  Our units of time are based on the vibration of the cesium atom.  The Malcorians could have used anything.  Ultimately, though, you’d probably want to pick a number of hours that are divisible by some other number.  24 is divisible by 2, 3, 4, 6, 8 and 12.  At least the Bajorans have 26, which can be divided into two 13-hour halves.  29 is prime.  I’m sure that there’s a good reason for it.  We’re left to wonder what that is.

One thing I liked was that the crew took Marista Yale with them.  It would have been so cruel to reveal the existence of alien life, only to leave her on Malcor III.  Even without the restrictions, could you imagine being the only one that had that kind of prolonged contact with aliens?  There would be a limited number of people you could discuss it with.  You’d also spend the rest of your life knowing that they’re out there enjoying themselves while you’re stuck on some backwater planet that probably won’t get its act together within your lifetime.  I would have at least liked to have seen her again, just to see how she’s adjusting to life in the Federation. 

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